" Wounded ... "

... It's like walking with the wounded 

Carrying that weight way too far 

The concrete pulled you down so hard 

Out there with the wounded ... 

You tell 'em, that's just my battle scar ...

And knock 'em down like we used to 

You're the marigold ...

Well nobody took your pride away ...

You say you don't know 

You say you can't grow 

All I know is we're missing you 

Show up, show up wounded 

Show up, show up wounded

~ Third Eye Blind ~ Wounded ~

***

We all have had experiences that create a sense of pain or discomfort ... welcome to Life.  In truth, we are all wounded ... emotionally, physically and spiritually ... and these wounds are what allow us to evolve into our true self.

As we continue on this amazing journey of Life, we interact with people that act as angels or lessons.  And we develop “battle scars” along the way.  But we also get to choose if we are going to be wounded wounders or wounded healers ... either we use our wounds to wound others or take the energy, lessons and compassion gained from being wounded and help others heal.

“May we all become more loving, less fearful; more forgiving, less vengeful, more compassionate, less judgmental, 

more healing, less wounding ...”

Shifting from fear to love, we choose from hurting to healing.  We realize our connection and oneness ... and therefore when we would hurt others we would hurt ourselves and we cannot heal another without experiencing healing ourselves.  Moving into a more loving, more patient, and more gentle space in our life.

The path of the wounded healer is not an easy one, yet one with the greatest of rewards ... providing the ultimate service by helping another soul through their unique experiences ... giving the ultimate gift by sharing their time and knowledge to someone in need.  

"Friends ..."

"Keep smilin', Keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure
that's what friends are for
In good times, And bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for"

~ Stevie Wonder ~ That's What Friends are For ~

***


Today I write with a heavy heart ...  a hurting heart.  Our beloved friend Paul is fighting for his life at the moment.  His beautiful wife Jacki, his angel, right by his side, feeling every single moment of this battle.  And we are on the other side of the world, wishing we could reach out across the ocean.  Russell and I are heartbroken.  We cannot even put into words the feelings we are experiencing right now.  I hesitated to write because I didn't know how to put down all my emotions through my constant tears.  Feeling helpless and profound sadness.

We met Paul and Jacki at the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana in March of this year.  It was a time when we had no clue what to expect and were quite vulnerable.  I remember the first day after the doctors consultation and settling into our room, we headed down to the main dining hall.  I had a fake smile on my face after a good cry in our room, constantly thinking what I am doing here?  As we sat down at the table Jacki and Paul walked in and there was literally this beam of light that surrounded them.  And, instantly there was an attraction and a warmth about them.  You know when you meet someone for the first time, but feel you have known them all your life????  Instant connection ♥ That night they shared their story of Paul's battle with cancer and I started to open up and share mine.  I was a newbie at all this "you have cancer" diagnosis ... I was looking for some armour, some protection, some way to deal with my diagnosis ... I couldn't even say I had cancer ...and Paul, who is battling a reoccurrence, had a lightness about him, a sense of calmness and assurance that he was going to beat this, no problem Mate!

I was in awe and that night, inspired by Paul and knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I thanked Him for the opportunity to be at this place at this time.

Our stay at the clinic was 3 weeks, and although we were all there for treating cancer, it was a special time for us.  A loving time.  Our days were eventful, actually enjoyable with something planned between treatments.  We had it all figured out as to when we could leave the clinic and still ensure we were on our therapy schedules.  You see, Paul has an itchy foot, just like Russell, so walking to the beach was usually on the agenda.  Hmmmm maybe something to do with being from the South Pacific??  Well, along with trips to the crazy downtown marketplace, drives down the coastline, Starbuck runs for the caregivers, jamming at the beachfront cafes, sharing funny stories at meal times, celebrating Jacki's birthday, practicing yoga, consoling each other when the range of emotions were stirred up .... and really just having moments when we needed to express ourselves ... because all fears, doubts, and frustrations were welcomed with open arms. We called it the Gerson bubble ... a safe haven for us to just BE.

Russ and I know, our experience in Tijuana would have been vastly different if we had not met our beloved Aussies.

One of the greatest blessings of being diagnosed with cancer is where this journey has taken us thus far ... we were destined to meet Jacki and Paul ~ all had to be spiritually aligned so that we would be at the clinic at the same time. And it has been an amazing blessing.  Every day I thank God for all in my life, all my blessings, family and friends and I ask for healing prayers to help my fellow friends rid this horrid disease from our bodies.  You see when we parted ways, the deal is that once we are able, Jacki and Paul will visit Canada and the boys will ski their hearts out ... in turn, we will visit the Gold Coast and there are a few pending surfing lessons by Paul.  And we know Paul is a man of his word.

So I am once again at the mercy of God.  And I know that I have been asking for a great deal these days.  And I apologize if it is too much, but I ask our Heavenly Creator to bless this time when Paul needs the strength, courage, and will to fight.  I ask Him to show love and solace to Jacki, their families and friends.  I ask Him for His Miraculous Healing to turn weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy and pain into comfort.  God, I don't always understand Your ways and why our friend has to suffer, but I trust You and ask You look with mercy and grace toward Paul.  By nourishing his spirit and soul, please restore Paul to full health and remove all fear and doubt from his heart ♥

"Ironic ..."

"It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures"
~ Alanis Morissette ~ Ironic ~ 
***


Well here's a health update ... on week 15 and another consultation with the doctors.  Laboratory results look good, they are really happy with my levels and numbers and slightly tweaked m programme.  Big news, I get lentils twice a week now - oh yeah!!  that is SO exciting for me ... variety!!  My next consultation is in two months now ~ August ~ 6 month mark.  I asked about my ultrasound and when I should schedule it.  The doctors in Mexico explained once again how I am detox mode, intense detox.  How the tumour has been aggravated, is probably inflamed and if any diagnostic testing is done at this time, the tumour could be bigger, tumour marker could be high and ...it would lead to depression, and pressure to take on a more severe treatment (i.e. cut, poison and burn ...) ... but after some discussion, they indicated that it would be "okay" to have the ultrasound results for the next consult.  So my plan now?  well, continue on the therapy as directed, and continue to heal my body.  Yes there is anxiety, yes there is fear, but do I choose to live in a what if world?  Absolutely not ... all we know is NOW.  So overall, I focus on the positive and encourage myself every day because for the believer, there is no question and for the non-believer, there is no answer ...♥


But, Today my thoughts are with one of my inspirations during my current journey .... The Wellness Warrior, Jess Ainscough.  Jess was diagnosed with a very rare, very aggressive cancer called Epithelioid Sarcoma in her left hand and arm.  She has endured an amazing journey to health and wellness, and I am in awe of her.  Currently, Jess is on month 14 of the Gerson Therapy and was looking forward to the 18 month mark to start easing back into regular life, a better life.  Along the way, she has also become a Holistic Health Counsellor ...And as I read her blog EVERYDAY, I felt my stomach drop when I read her blog title "Two Years of Gerson Therapy suddenly becomes Three" ...the irony is that her Mother was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Unbelievable!  Her parents have been her support, her pillars, and specifically her Mother has been her primary caregiver.  My heart just hurt when I read her blog ... how can life be so cruel, how can this be happening, have they not endured enough ... yet there is a part of us that know, things happen for a reason, what the reason is, is for us to find out.  So once Jess is off her therapy, roles will be reversed, and she will be her Mother's primary caregiver.  At the present time, her father has stepped in to help Jess and her Mom on the therapy.  Jess is a wonderful example as to how our bodies heal, cancer is curable, and this horrendous dis-ease can be driven out of our bodies naturally.  Her Mother is armed with the best possible knowledge and will battle the disease with the help, grace and guidance of her.  

Prayers and Love go out to your family right now Jess 

... keeping the faith and knowing that there is a cure, you are living proof. 

♥ we must have courage, whatever the test, however many times we fall, stand up just once more ♥ 

"Dream Weaver ... oh, Dream Healer"

"Dream weaver 
I've just closed my eyes again 
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train 
Driver take away my worries of today 
And leave tomorrow behind 
Ooh dream weaver"

~ Reo Speedwagon ~ Dream Weaver ~
***


Yesterday, I had a chance to go to the DreamHealer session in Calgary.  For some of you, you already know what this is all about.  ADAM is the DreamHealer.  He is a gifted individual who helps you with visualization tools and energy healing.  Now for all the skeptics out there, he does not have a magic wand, nor does he heal you ... YOU HEAL YOURSELF.  


I had a great deal of anxiety and excitement the entire day.  As my friend Joelle said, you could feel the energy and the healing already taking place prior to Adam's appearance.  Initially, we saw a video about Ronnie Hawkins who was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and given minimal time.  Adam had an opportunity to perform individual healing sessions on Ronnie, remotely, and soon after Ronnie was cancer-free.  His doctors have no explanation and have called it a Miracle.  Along with this story, other testimonials were shown of people whom have fully recovered from serious illnesses.  It was emotional to watch as you could feel the empathy within the crowd.  Soon after, Adam appeared.  He explained that he has been speaking to crowds now for almost 10 years.  He no longer does individual sessions as he has less time and energy.  And his intention is to show how we can heal ourselves.  We just need tools, and he was here to show us how.  How our bodies know to heal itself.


Adam re-affirmed what I have come to understand and what resonates with me.  In the past, I had heard that our bodies talk to us .. but I didn't pay attention.  Adam talked in length about universal energy, our energy and energy healing and medicine.  Since he finished his degree in Molecular Biology and now studying to become a Naturopath Doctor, he provided scientific information explaining the power of intention - How our intentions affect our metabolism?  How do such intentions directly heal ourselves most effectively and efficiently?  He discussed our internal influences ~ Beliefs, Emotions, Intentions, Perception of Time, Cellular Memory and Mind-body connection.  He discussed our external influences ~ Healthcare Practitioner, Media, Education, Family and Friends, Diet, Exercise and Habits.

We learned about DNA and proteins, epi-genetics, gene expression and how our environment affects our healing process.  We also had a chance to participate in group healing sessions.  You could feel the energy in the crowd even before the healing session began.  With that much positive intention, it was simply Powerful.  We had to imagine drawing in energy from our feet, from Mother Earth, and expanding our auras.  Then, we had to imagine our auras merging with our fellow participants.  Next we had to practice our visualizations, or if that was difficult, project positivity ... as Adam said be "ridiculously positive".  

Our intentions to heal and/or heal others.    

So how do I explain the group healing sessions?  Well, everyone was so different ... My experience was powerful, I felt movement, I felt protected, I felt some twitches, pains, presence, dizziness.  Then, I felt empowered ... my intentions were strong, loud and clear.  The room was dark, silent yet full of warm healing energy.  Adam takes everyone's combined aura and works from a hologram to energetically affect our bodies.  It really is hard to explain, it has to be experienced to truly get it.  And, once they sessions were over, I was exhausted.  I needed to sleep and just let the process unfold.  

It will continue to unfold, as healing is a process, a unique journey.

"Practicing these affirmations and visualizations every day is essential.  Our thoughts and intentions are constantly influencing our health and our conscious intention must be synchronized with our subconscious intention.  We need to ask ourselves "What do I want?" and limit ourselves to one desired outcome - state it aloud and let it sit with you, feel it, know it, understand it and emit it.  This is what you want to expect, and focus on this to make it happen.  Our perception of our outcome makes a huge difference to our outcome" 
~ ADAM

(Reference: Intention Heals ~ a guide and workbook ~ ADAM, Author of DreamHealer)