" Balance ... "

" Just open your eyes,
And realize, the way it's always been.
Just open your mind
And you will find
The way it's always been.
Just open your heart
And that's a start ...

And he felt the earth to his spine,
And he asked, and he saw the tree above him, and the stars,
And the veins in the leaf,
And the light, and the balance ..."

~ The Moody Blues ~ Balance ~

***

Finding balance in life ... is it a myth or obtainable?  Well for something to be out of balance, there must have first been a balancing point.  Therefore, whatever is out of balance can be rebalanced ~ obtainable.  Just as we all have a breaking point, we all have the ability to find our balancing point.  

Our balance point comes from expressing our truth in our life.  One approach is to rid ourselves of the emotions and situations that caused initially caused the imbalance.  Yet it may be unrealistic to assume that a magic wand can be waved to bring things back into that balancing point ... many imbalances occur slowly over many years.  Inner balance is a sense of well-being ... a feeling of contentment and peace, as it should be and calmness.  Ironically, everything is always as it should be, even when we are facing difficult situations.  

So start by taking responsibility of yourself ... the key to finding balance.  To accept full responsibility for how you are feeling, what you are thinking and what you are doing.  Balance comes from YOU.  It is important to not confuse comfort with balance ... others can advise, support and encourage but you keep you in balance, and you allow this for yourself.  So it makes sense the next thought is to quit taking responsibility for others.  Stop taking on everyone else's problems.  At times, this can be a detriment to your well-being.  Again, remember help, advice, assistance, compassion and understanding can be given freely, but when other peoples issues take over your life, you need to take a step back.  This will help them learn how to be responsible for themselves.  

When you feel balanced, stepping forward in your life isn't dating.  You have complete trust in yourself.  You become fully acknowledged in those things that throw you out of balance, preparing you for the next time you encounter them.  It is not an easy task but once you do, you can take ownership of it and then it is yours to re-balance.  If it helps, you can start by writing down an imbalance list ... everything which you feel is bringing you down.  And recognize if you start blaming others or feel stuck with some items, you are not taking responsibility.

It takes commitment from ourselves to re-balance.  Consistent effort.  And as soon as we think we've dealt with and worked through all of our triggers, something else comes along which bowls us over and knocks us out of sync again.  But if practice the above, we will find it easier to recover from these as they occur and recovering from the same knocks will take less time ... eventually our foundations are solid and we can react from a point of balance, the ultimate goal.

" Recovery ... "

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Hola if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

~ Eminem ~ Recovery ~ 

***

At the end of the year most of us reflect on the going ons we have experienced.  2011 has been a wild ride to say the least for us.  With the start of the year ringing in my diagnosis, the remaining has been full of discoveries and lessons.  Those around me that are in a similar situation will attest to the personal transformation that occurs at a very rapid pace.  The "shift" that happens is not gentle ... it is abrupt.  Initially I felt that my life has turned upside down.  But upon reflection, it actually turned right side up.  The naive thought of being immortal faced me head on when I was dealt the dreaded C word .... And the most profound thought for me is that cancer is a word and not a sentence ... initiating my personal healing.  

Looking forward to 2012, a beginning of a new year full of success, adventure and possibility.  Instead of planning for a new car, new home or renovations, I choose to plan my life ~ what I want to achieve and how I want to grow as a person.  You know the saying that "Life is a journey” ... so are you the driver or a passenger? ... do you pick an adventurous route or snooze in the back?  Rather than life developing and me existing, I can choose to make things happen the way I design them instead of leaving it all up to chance.

So how I going to set my intentions for the new year?  

Well I figure I have to set the mood, a time for me to feel peaceful, relaxed and uninterrupted.  Once in a positive state and open to possibilities, I will write down my achievements for 2011 and then ... reflect on them.  One year ago my life was full of uncertainty, quiet chaos, anxiety and fear .... now I have peace, gratitude, confidence, and love.  I will allow myself to celebrate my success this year ... a tough year, but could have been worse and the best part, I am getting thru it.  I read recently that once you are diagnosed, at that moment, you are a survivor.  Such an empowering feeling.  

I have been checking in, asking myself questions around my year ~ who, what, when and where ... not why, because there are no definitive answers to that question.  That is where my strong faith kicks in ... I read today that “every sorrow has a spiritual lesson, if you get the lesson, life gets easier ... if you don’t, the sorrow gets tougher” (thanks Oprah!).  

Next, I will think about the areas of my life that are important such as spirituality, relationship with friends/family, personal development, career, etc ... and consider where I am with each right now, today ... then thinking about how I would like to positively change each area.  

Imagine ~ Dream ~ Design.  So powerful and effective to make it Real.  I may entertain the use of a dream board to paint a vivid picture of exactly how it will look for me.  Supporting this process, by prioritizing what areas need immediate action, setting dates, the importance around it, etc can be helpful as long as I am being true to myself.

I think the next step will be the most challenging.  I will ask myself who will share my intentions with me.  In the past, I have found that some do not always support my “new design” and try to burst my bubble.  And it is not intentional, they just like life to be the way it is and do not want change.  They fear that I may fail and are too protective of me ... as I experienced this year where others may think it’s best for me to take a more conventional route and do things the way they understand.  I have realized that each person is an unique individual with their own set of life situations and challenges ... if we listen to and take negative comments of others, we are bound to struggle to achieve our intentions.  

Valued Lesson: I will share my intentions with those who will support me, encourage me and be inspired by me ♥

In wrapping up 2011, one word comes to mind ... BLESSED.  At this moment, I feel healthy, loved, safe and secure.  I choose to live in abundance of all good things and know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.  

And what will my 2012 dream board look like? ... 

• pictures of how my life is going to be, what I will have, and what is important to me
• words that inspire me to dream big and take action ... and I will imagine the feelings surrounding those dreams

So till next year my friends ... may the light shine brightly in your heart and the upcoming year be full of powerful changes allowing you to let go of the past so your life can be richer and fuller with room for multiple blessings and joy.

We are the light of the world ~ so let us share it willingly, lovingly and unconditionally ♥ R.Bankapur

" Highs N Lows ... "

"I be high then I be low
I be low then I be high

I be high when I get what I couldn't before

I be low when I'm looking at a stressed face
It's like a battle knife to a gun fight
No need to worry this the story of my life ..."

~ Kid Cudi ~ Highs N Lows ~

***

Well, we are starting week 40 of the Gerson Therapy.  Yes incredible to think ... I remember talking to family and friends at week 1 wondering how we were going to do this, how we would manage.  And I am happy to report, we have and we are.  As mentioned in my prior posts, thanks to the kindness, generosity, love and support of what I like to call my earth angels.

Since my last post, I have experienced some real highs and some real lows.  Personally, I have been feeling stronger, better and more determined than ever to beat this horrid dis-ease.  I had a great healing session with my beautiful friend, Jolene of Coreporate Care, whom I mentioned in my last post.  Some great insight and affirmations.  Feeling like I am on the road to recovery and healing ... having worked really hard to get to this point, it feels good to feel this way.  And just when I was staying present in my world and my reality ... we had a dear friend of ours pass away.  Highs N Lows.

Vesna was a friend we met at the Gerson clinic in March 2011 and arrived a few days short of our 3 week stay.  She was accompanied by her husband.  The first day, we exchanged stories as to what brought us to the Tijuana.  Our commonality ... breast cancer.  There was a lot of shared frustration, anger, fear and curiosity.  Russell and I, having the majority of our visit under our belts, felt quite equipped to share our knowledge, understanding and beliefs around the therapy.  With Vesna, she was not new to a cancer diagnosis, as this being a reoccurrence, she had felt that a different option from what she had already experienced could work.  With our the severity of our diagnosis varying, our sense of desperation varied too.  I knew that look, that feeling ... I had it 2 weeks prior.  And so I tried to lend my support and encouragement around the therapy, why it works, why it is important to follow it as directed ... why we had to believe.  And we all believed, to some level, or we wouldn't have been there ... again, all of us desperately searching for the unattainable ... a sure thing, a guarantee. 

All of us at the clinic knew that in "theory" the Gerson Therapy works.  But, we also knew that we all respond differently, heal differently ... for some, our immune systems were not strong enough to endure the flare ups and healing reactions to come our way.  For others, we would continue on the therapy.  We all knew that we would do our best and also do what is takes to heal ... conventional, Gerson, or a combination of both.  Regardless of the choice of treatment, we all had the same intentions ... and provided unconditional support.

For Vesna, she left us this past weekend ... passing away peacefully.  I trust she IS at peace now.  All the frustration, anger and fear replaced with solace, harmony and love.  I trust our friend is looking down upon the rest of the Gersonators and cheering us on, believing in us ... knowing we all have our own journey to take.  

♥ Rest in Peace our beautiful friend ♥