" Behind The Mask ... "

You sit behind the mask

and you control your world

You sit around and I watch your face

I try to find the truth

But that's your hiding place ...

I Walk around I'm suffering in my doom

When I come to you

Your sitting in your room

You sit around in the strangest place

So take off the mask, so I can see your face

Heaven must be wary 

You know where you've been ...

~ Michael Jackson ~ Behind The Mask ~

***

It is the night before Halloween and many are sorting their costumes ... capes, hats, clothing and masks.  Ah, Masks, they have long been a part of daily life as well.  From the past when tribal dancers wore them to worship their Gods, to the present where children wear them for special holidays.  Really it is just the extent to which we layer ourselves that varies as these masks stay with us until we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.

The masks we wear ... 

• are decorated versions of what we prefer to show to the world. 
• shield those parts of us that we don’t like or accept
• shield those parts of us that others need us to hide to make them feel more comfortable.  
• are complex and moulded from parenting, culture and society.  
• satisfy collective expectations.

And for the most part, we don’t even realize the masks are there ... 

There are costs to being masked - the inability to express ourselves, show real feelings and the expectations of living up to a false image.  You see, when propping up a persona, our behavioural choices narrow and the skills we may need to survive in an environment can stop us from having real needs met in another. 

It takes a lot of energy to keep a mask in place ...

Appreciate that masks are protective barriers that we put up to deal with our insecurities, and these masks are not to be confused with who we really are.  Whether it is to gain social acceptance, hide vulnerability, hide emotions, to deceive or to manipulate, we all wear masks at some time in our lives ... just don’t become attached to your projections.  

The core issue is not feeling loved by others and ourselves ... if we don’t love ourselves, then we depend on others to make us feel worthwhile ... an unstable foundation for our relationships and our psyche.  When we are conscious of our masks then we know we are not what we pretend to be.  

The real self has choices of how to be, but the false self depends on others for how it should be ...

Remove those masks and be true to yourself, your expression, your soul, and your light ... as each one of us are here to accept our unique qualities and to share them with others.  Use wisdom to protect your inner self by shining out to others and having grace for those that cannot appreciate it.  Believe that your mask can be used to create safety and security, rather than suffocation, so that your light burns brightly to the world ...

" What Happens Tomorrow ... "

You've got to believe 

it'll be alright in the end 

Fighting, because we're so close 

There are times we punish those who we need the most 

No, we can't wait for a saviour 

Only got ourselves to blame for this behaviour

And nobody knows what's gonna happen tomorrow 

~ Duran Duran ~ What Happens Tomorrow ~

***

How do you define motivation?  Is it what makes things happen?  Without it, is there any desire or drive to accomplish or create?  Once I understood what was moving me in one direction or holding me back in another, I started to understand my motivation triggers.  And started to make things happen.  For me, motivation affects everything I do and every choice I make. 

We usually can slot into one of the below motivation types ...

Achievement ... pursuing & attaining goals ... this kind can be combined with the drive to be good at something.  Achievement motivated people like work, responsibility and take pride in solving problems.  

Affiliation ... strong desire for love and acceptance ... there is a drive to relate to people on a social basis.  Having a support system is crucial.  Compliments, good attitude and cooperation are valued.

Security ... essentially a deep concern for the future.  The feeling that accumulating money and material possessions eases and shelters the pathway to the future.  Change and risk-taking is stressful.  Having steady work and dependable income is comfort.

Nuture ... need to give support, help, service and gifts to others with no strings attached.  Important factor is knowing you are lending comfort or a listening ear.  This is associated with the ability to empathize and respond to the needs of others.

Fear ... often imposed from an external source.  Creates worry and stress.  Internally, the feeling of need for change, due to pain and fear of remaining in a situation is often a catalyst for this type.

Power and Influence ... intensely driven to put in an extra effort to accomplish goals for this promise.  Competition with others is evident.  Influence, leadership, desire to control and responsibility for others are by-products of a power position.  Positively, results are achieved, negatively, power used for personal aggrandizement.

So what motivates you? Unlocking your motivation type(s) can help you understand your personal values ... what truly energies and excites you.  Once you know what these values are, then you can plan your goals around them.  If you are still unsure, study the some of the most successful people.  They understand what their values are and live their lives in accordance with them.  

You’d be surprised how many of us though, live our lives according to other people’s values. We end up devoting a large amount of time to things that genuinely don’t matter to us which results in those feelings of de-motivation & sluggishness. 

Some of my personal values are health, innovation, learning and insight, fun and adventure.  I make a concerted effort to ensure I am factoring in these values every day in some way.  I am careful not to confuse my values with ‘pleasurable activities’ ... values are not always about instant gratification – but they assist you to grow as a person in the long run.

“Never let the things that matter to you most be at the mercy of those that do not”

" Recovery ... "

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Hola if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

~ Eminem ~ Recovery ~ 

***

At the end of the year most of us reflect on the going ons we have experienced.  2011 has been a wild ride to say the least for us.  With the start of the year ringing in my diagnosis, the remaining has been full of discoveries and lessons.  Those around me that are in a similar situation will attest to the personal transformation that occurs at a very rapid pace.  The "shift" that happens is not gentle ... it is abrupt.  Initially I felt that my life has turned upside down.  But upon reflection, it actually turned right side up.  The naive thought of being immortal faced me head on when I was dealt the dreaded C word .... And the most profound thought for me is that cancer is a word and not a sentence ... initiating my personal healing.  

Looking forward to 2012, a beginning of a new year full of success, adventure and possibility.  Instead of planning for a new car, new home or renovations, I choose to plan my life ~ what I want to achieve and how I want to grow as a person.  You know the saying that "Life is a journey” ... so are you the driver or a passenger? ... do you pick an adventurous route or snooze in the back?  Rather than life developing and me existing, I can choose to make things happen the way I design them instead of leaving it all up to chance.

So how I going to set my intentions for the new year?  

Well I figure I have to set the mood, a time for me to feel peaceful, relaxed and uninterrupted.  Once in a positive state and open to possibilities, I will write down my achievements for 2011 and then ... reflect on them.  One year ago my life was full of uncertainty, quiet chaos, anxiety and fear .... now I have peace, gratitude, confidence, and love.  I will allow myself to celebrate my success this year ... a tough year, but could have been worse and the best part, I am getting thru it.  I read recently that once you are diagnosed, at that moment, you are a survivor.  Such an empowering feeling.  

I have been checking in, asking myself questions around my year ~ who, what, when and where ... not why, because there are no definitive answers to that question.  That is where my strong faith kicks in ... I read today that “every sorrow has a spiritual lesson, if you get the lesson, life gets easier ... if you don’t, the sorrow gets tougher” (thanks Oprah!).  

Next, I will think about the areas of my life that are important such as spirituality, relationship with friends/family, personal development, career, etc ... and consider where I am with each right now, today ... then thinking about how I would like to positively change each area.  

Imagine ~ Dream ~ Design.  So powerful and effective to make it Real.  I may entertain the use of a dream board to paint a vivid picture of exactly how it will look for me.  Supporting this process, by prioritizing what areas need immediate action, setting dates, the importance around it, etc can be helpful as long as I am being true to myself.

I think the next step will be the most challenging.  I will ask myself who will share my intentions with me.  In the past, I have found that some do not always support my “new design” and try to burst my bubble.  And it is not intentional, they just like life to be the way it is and do not want change.  They fear that I may fail and are too protective of me ... as I experienced this year where others may think it’s best for me to take a more conventional route and do things the way they understand.  I have realized that each person is an unique individual with their own set of life situations and challenges ... if we listen to and take negative comments of others, we are bound to struggle to achieve our intentions.  

Valued Lesson: I will share my intentions with those who will support me, encourage me and be inspired by me ♥

In wrapping up 2011, one word comes to mind ... BLESSED.  At this moment, I feel healthy, loved, safe and secure.  I choose to live in abundance of all good things and know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.  

And what will my 2012 dream board look like? ... 

• pictures of how my life is going to be, what I will have, and what is important to me
• words that inspire me to dream big and take action ... and I will imagine the feelings surrounding those dreams

So till next year my friends ... may the light shine brightly in your heart and the upcoming year be full of powerful changes allowing you to let go of the past so your life can be richer and fuller with room for multiple blessings and joy.

We are the light of the world ~ so let us share it willingly, lovingly and unconditionally ♥ R.Bankapur