" Recovery ... "

I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Hola if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

~ Eminem ~ Recovery ~ 

***

At the end of the year most of us reflect on the going ons we have experienced.  2011 has been a wild ride to say the least for us.  With the start of the year ringing in my diagnosis, the remaining has been full of discoveries and lessons.  Those around me that are in a similar situation will attest to the personal transformation that occurs at a very rapid pace.  The "shift" that happens is not gentle ... it is abrupt.  Initially I felt that my life has turned upside down.  But upon reflection, it actually turned right side up.  The naive thought of being immortal faced me head on when I was dealt the dreaded C word .... And the most profound thought for me is that cancer is a word and not a sentence ... initiating my personal healing.  

Looking forward to 2012, a beginning of a new year full of success, adventure and possibility.  Instead of planning for a new car, new home or renovations, I choose to plan my life ~ what I want to achieve and how I want to grow as a person.  You know the saying that "Life is a journey” ... so are you the driver or a passenger? ... do you pick an adventurous route or snooze in the back?  Rather than life developing and me existing, I can choose to make things happen the way I design them instead of leaving it all up to chance.

So how I going to set my intentions for the new year?  

Well I figure I have to set the mood, a time for me to feel peaceful, relaxed and uninterrupted.  Once in a positive state and open to possibilities, I will write down my achievements for 2011 and then ... reflect on them.  One year ago my life was full of uncertainty, quiet chaos, anxiety and fear .... now I have peace, gratitude, confidence, and love.  I will allow myself to celebrate my success this year ... a tough year, but could have been worse and the best part, I am getting thru it.  I read recently that once you are diagnosed, at that moment, you are a survivor.  Such an empowering feeling.  

I have been checking in, asking myself questions around my year ~ who, what, when and where ... not why, because there are no definitive answers to that question.  That is where my strong faith kicks in ... I read today that “every sorrow has a spiritual lesson, if you get the lesson, life gets easier ... if you don’t, the sorrow gets tougher” (thanks Oprah!).  

Next, I will think about the areas of my life that are important such as spirituality, relationship with friends/family, personal development, career, etc ... and consider where I am with each right now, today ... then thinking about how I would like to positively change each area.  

Imagine ~ Dream ~ Design.  So powerful and effective to make it Real.  I may entertain the use of a dream board to paint a vivid picture of exactly how it will look for me.  Supporting this process, by prioritizing what areas need immediate action, setting dates, the importance around it, etc can be helpful as long as I am being true to myself.

I think the next step will be the most challenging.  I will ask myself who will share my intentions with me.  In the past, I have found that some do not always support my “new design” and try to burst my bubble.  And it is not intentional, they just like life to be the way it is and do not want change.  They fear that I may fail and are too protective of me ... as I experienced this year where others may think it’s best for me to take a more conventional route and do things the way they understand.  I have realized that each person is an unique individual with their own set of life situations and challenges ... if we listen to and take negative comments of others, we are bound to struggle to achieve our intentions.  

Valued Lesson: I will share my intentions with those who will support me, encourage me and be inspired by me ♥

In wrapping up 2011, one word comes to mind ... BLESSED.  At this moment, I feel healthy, loved, safe and secure.  I choose to live in abundance of all good things and know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.  

And what will my 2012 dream board look like? ... 

• pictures of how my life is going to be, what I will have, and what is important to me
• words that inspire me to dream big and take action ... and I will imagine the feelings surrounding those dreams

So till next year my friends ... may the light shine brightly in your heart and the upcoming year be full of powerful changes allowing you to let go of the past so your life can be richer and fuller with room for multiple blessings and joy.

We are the light of the world ~ so let us share it willingly, lovingly and unconditionally ♥ R.Bankapur

" Circle of Life ... "

"Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars 

And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life"

~ Elton John ~ Circle of Life ~
***

Well I guess it's been almost one full week since we last connected on this blog.  And in the last week, a great deal has transpired.  We have been sending healing prayers to Paul and his family whom I wrote about last week.  And they are working.  Paul has been inspired by the love and energy he is receiving and is fighting back.  Truly a miracle is happening in front of our very own eyes and we are more than thrilled to witness this amazing time.  We continue to send powerful healing prayers, blessings and energy knowing in our hearts He is listening and answering.

As well this week, there has been an emotional roller coaster ride of events happen .... Besides Paul's gentle recovery as mentioned, we had a good friend of ours, Karen, become a first time Grandma to baby Sienna.  We had another couple friend of ours planning their wedding festivities, and then we just found out that another friend of ours whom we were blessed to meet in Tijuana passed away.  Yes, an emotional ride is an understatement.  What is has done is drain my energy ... I have not been this exhausted in a very long time.  Probably because of the opposing emotions ~ sorrow and joy, pain and comfort, suffering and compassion, and weakness and strength.  All the things I wrote about last week.  We were hoping that there would just be illumination for a while, with darkness leaving us.  Only brightness and sunny days ahead ... But the reality is that this is truly the circle of life: birth and death. 

There are miracles that do happen as well.  I firmly believe our time is up with He needs us.  I use to believe that our destiny is written ... but what I do feel now is that we can negotiate ... ask for more time, be given another chance.  And, if He can do without for a while, then well, we re-write that destiny.  How that is decided, is unknown and some may read this and think .... ah, o-kay, surrrrrrrrre or what-ever.  And hey to each their own.  But for me, this is how I make sense of all this.  

It is an emotional time, a trying time, a real test.  I write a fair bit about personal journey, following our own path, believing we heal individually ... but I have not written about miracles.  And truly living and breathing human beings are miracles.  Miracles are when your friend is close to walking thru heavens doors and instead is inspired to fight, negotiate and re-write his destiny.  Miracles are when a precious baby is born out of love and shares her happiness with just her presence on our Earth.  Miracles are when a friend passes on, leaving an impact on her family and friends much further than she may have realized when she was alive.  Miracles are when two people find true love.  Miracles are the circle of life.  

As obvious as it may seem for some, there are times when things just click, make sense and you have an A-HA! moment.  This week, there has been many of them.  Life just carries on, and it must carry on.  You see, we can mourn and celebrate in the same moment.  And really, life presents those moments to us in those ways for a reason.  What that reason is ... well, still working on that.  But I know in my heart, there are blessings around every corner, in every place ... in every BODY.  

And maybe this circle of life is also a circle of healing ... an opportunity for growth ... and opportunity to create the world we wish to live in versus fight the world we are currently in.  This is what I choose to take from this last week ... emotionally charged but as I sit here on Sunday night blogging my thoughts, I have a sense of peace, solace and a tad bit more understanding of the concept of the circle of life.

"There is a well of infinity hidden within each Soul. 

There you will find an incredible energy source, 

beyond your broadest understanding. 

It is Light and Healing. The Force of Nature. The essence of Love"

"Faith ..."

"Before this river 
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith.."

~ George Michael ~ Faith ~

***

So we are now on week 19 of the Gerson Therapy ... yeah crazy how almost 5 months has passed on.  At times it feels quick and other times, it is so so slow.  Over the past weekend, I have been asked with care by friends "how much longer?".  I just smiled at them and said "as long as it takes".  Mainly because I don't know myself.  I struggle with this, wishing I could give a definitive answer, but the reality is that the therapy is a minimum of 18 months.  From what we have been told, the more toxins you have in your body, the slower your body heals because we need to detoxify first before we can rebuild our immune system.  It makes sense if you give it some thought, regardless if you agree with alternative treatments or not.  But I have blogged a great deal about the therapy, in detail, and the other areas of this blog provide more information for anyone that is interested - so I won't do that again today.  Because seriously, you do not have to be diagnosed with cancer to consider a form of nutritional therapy.   

At the moment I have been focusing on my FAITH.  And this is not a blog entry about a type of religion, or a representation of God ... I mean true FAITH  ... trust, hope and belief in the goodness, trustworthiness or reliability of a person, concept or entity.  Oddly, I have heard some say that Faith is the opposite of reason.  It is believing something you know isn't true.  That it is down in your heart, allowing yourself to accept something that you know with your mind could not be possible.  These are the same people that are so skeptical of the whole idea because they think of it as something not connected with the ordinary processes of the mind.  This whole viewpoint makes me sad for them ... closing themselves off from the experience of believing.  Maybe science has programmed them that seeing not feeling is the only believing.  But, just because you have faith, you do not put your intellect to sleep.  On the contrary, Faith is not an irrational thing ... it something we exercise every day in our lives and it began the moment we were born.  


You see when we are faced with challenges, adversities and difficulties, we will ALWAYS prevail IF we refuse to yield.  Society believes that when someone is diagnosed with an "incurable disease", the odds are stacked against them and a healthy life is next to impossible.  Statistics focus on mortality.  Why?  Because the core belief is that the universe is inherently evil.  Evil?  (Yeah ... stay with me on this one ..... )  
Yet, there is no inherent and permanent evil in the world ... infinite intelligence is GOOD all the time.  It is only when we turn away from infinite intelligence that the road becomes rocky.  So why do we like to "perceive evil" ... maybe it allows us to take the responsibility for our own destiny off our shoulders.  We choose to play the victim, you know the phrases "this always happens to me", "I knew this was coming", "I cannot do anything to change this" .... but for those of us that want to become healthy, happy and abundant, we must have no doubt that the universe is inherently good.  You see this realization can be difficult if you have allowed your lack-centered mind infect your subconscious mind.  At first you must believe it, then adhered to it, until it ripens into realization and knowing.


And I now know the sorrows of life can be great and at times, the universe is indeed dark - but sometimes we need the dark to appreciate the light.  Dark is not evil it is just ... well dark.  Our thoughts need organization and direction.  We must chose to supervise this process.  And when we do, our thoughts become obedient servants, leading us to the life we wish to live ... allowing us to tap into the natural order of the universe with is ... inherently good.  And when we stand face to face with truth, we understand that every challenge is a stepping stone to build character that allows us to ultimately triumph.    


Our sorrows can be conquered and used for greater good.  
When we accept these lessons for what they truly are, we manifest health, happiness and abundance we desire.  Evil is a mind virus.  For us to become strong, serene, and at peace, we must have no doubt that the universe is ruled by an Infinite Intelligence that is good.  


And for me this is accomplished by FAITH.