" Cosmic ... "

“ ... I put these things aside for years

'Til laughter took the place of tears

It's like I was asleep yet now I'm here

I'm here ... 

I put these things aside for years

'Til laughter took the place of tears

It's like I was asleep yet now I'm here

I'm here

I'm here (it's cosmic) ... “

~ Kylie Minogue ~ Cosmic ~

***

For those that believe in the concept of karma, believe that our loved ones appear in our life due to karmic debt.  At least that is the Buddhist view.

“At present, we are closely linked with our parents and our children.  We feel great affection for them and have incredible aspirations for them.  When they suffer, or anything undesirable happens to them, we are more upset than we would be if such things had happened to us personally.  All this is simply the repayment of debts for the harm we have done each other in past lives.”- Patrul Rinpoche

Imagine ... the person you love in this moment, may have been someone you loathed in a previous life.  And they may become your rival in the next life.  As my teacher explains to us, this is the cosmic joke.  The endless cycle of attachment and aversion that eventually causes suffering for everyone involved.  And if you aren’t sure, observe how children turn on their parents and how your greatest love can become your ex-partner.

Equanimity ... loving all sentient beings equally.  It is about boundless love, which has the power to heal and transform.  And you begin by consciously expressing your love to your special ones ... and spreading this outward to those in your life.  

A practice, with a sense of humour that helps to deal with life on life's terms.  Personally, I am finding that a sense of humour is essential.  It keeps me from taking myself too seriously.  It helps me realize it is a cosmic joke and not a serious affair.  When we get serious, we are praised, respected and honoured.  But are we having any fun?

A sense of humour seems to be far more sacred than some other practices.  It requires a presence of mind, and the ability to stay present.  When you laugh like like a child you are ego less.

And so the cosmic joke continues ... there seems to be nothing more valuable than laughter.  Laughter brings you to the earth.  Laughter bring you to reality as it is.  Life as it is should be enough of a reason to laugh ... ridiculous and beautiful, absurd and wonderful ... all sorts of things together ... a great cosmic joke.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Urges ... "

“ ... Urges, urges - he get these urges

Don't wanna talk about -

Heartfelt urges - he get these urges

He's not supposed to talk about ... 

In the footlight the ape in motion

Spins circles all across the floor -

Mouth the words, assume the positions

For a second we can fool them all

It's never been this way before ... “

~ Thomas Dolby ~ Urges ~

***

My practice is teaching me freedom is not what I thought it was.  Not freedom as defined in the West ... freedom to do what we want and not have to do what we don’t want.  Rather the practice teaches that freedom is freedom from desire and aversion.  Freedom from want, not freedom to do what we want.  And this view is what I continue to develop.

So how do you kill off cravings ... not a clue.  Yet through mindfulness training, I learn to accept the flow of experience just as it is, instead of resisting or grasping.  I change my relationship to the urge.  I observe.  I surf my urges.  

I begin by noticing what is happening within the body and the mind.  The sensation and emotion.  I notice the impulse and urge to do something to change the moment.  And I notice how both the sensations change and urges come and go.  Consciously aware of their changing nature, their ebb and flow, the impermanence.  And I repeat and repeat ...

As I practice this approach, I realize that I can begin to cope with what is happening in the present moment.  Reminding myself that we are stronger than we believe we are  and it is the fear of the future, not the present, that compels us.  Hence when I remain with my urges in the present moment, I experience and I remain with what is.  I don’t have to act or react, I can just be and accept.  Path of least resistance.

Watching the rise and fall, the coming and going of the urge to change the situation ... I become aware of my strength to resolve.  I watch the strength of the compulsion rise and then it falls away again.  And I don’t have to stop it and I don’t have to run away from it.  I let it pass.  Just notice it and go on with life.  Perhaps learning that I do not have to react to every urge ... that I can be non-reactive and I can surf my urges.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Self - Inflicted ... "

“ ... Every bone's been broken

But my heart is still wide open

I can't stop, don't care if I lose

Baby, you are the weapon I choose

These wounds are self inflicted ... 

With each scar there's a map

That tells a story, what a souvenir of

Young love's like jumping out an airplane

Riding a tidal wave on an ocean of emotion

My heart rips me wide open ... 

These wounds are self inflicted ... “

~ Katy Perry ~ Self Inflicted ~

***

Community and connection … the heart of what lies at times of crisis.  That call on all of us to assess honestly what we are willing to give up, and how far we are ready to serve others.  

Serving others … I use to think that it was selfish when you had to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others.  I use to think that the inconvenience to ourselves outweighed the sacrifice to save another.  Yet sometimes our intention in the acts of sacrifice is not only the bond that connects us, but also the challenge to take good care of ourselves.

Let’s be honest … most of us agree to do more than we can really afford.  We try to build the relationship, support it, manage it.  Yet very quickly we learn how the scales tip out of balance when the willingness to make sacrifice is not reciprocal.  

And so we are on THE quest … for that place where we know when we are over-stretching, again … yet not closing off the impulse to serve, to help and to create community and connection through personal sacrifice for the overall good.

“ … our long term well being 

relies on the health of our community … “

We serve out of less-than-perfect lives … focusing on different tasks and taking care of other people’s needs that we forget to take care of ourselves.  We attempt to manage our roles, relationships and responsibilities … we move mindlessly from one thing to another, trying to fit it all in … yet what we need is balance … a balance between service and self-care.

“ … Studies have shown that couples that have a balance 

between ME time and WE time

are happier  … “

Self-care is the most compassionate act you can perform for yourself because you cannot give what you don’t have.  When we practice self-care we are better parents, offspring, siblings, friends and partners.  Because when we fill up our wells, we can future others while also enjoying the bliss of our own self-love.  

Drop limited beliefs about honouring your wants and needs.  Fulfill your potential and discover your purpose, your joy because self care  … allows for more sharing and nurturing because there is plenty to give without being depleted or exhausted … allows you to serve others well because you have acknowledged your own worth and cultivated ways to fill and refill your well.

The shift is necessary and is possible, when you chose to re frame your belief system and thoughts you have around self-care.  You can choose to let go of resentment of others.  You can choose to stop being a victim of others’ demands.  You can choose what you self-inflict ... and the result, experiencing joy in this present moment.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Selective Memory ... "

"If i lay my head down

I will see you in my dream

Wearing that polka dot dress

And sitting by the stream

Leaning in to hear you

You will whisper in my ear

And everything i need to know

I finally hear

I wish i could remember

But my selective memory

Won't let me"

~ Eels ~ Selective Memory ~

***

Recently, I was given some advice … I was told to be selective.  Selective in what I give my attention to, what I focus on and what I allow into my environment.  And that is easier said than done because we get swept away by others or even our own useless thoughts. 

So where to do you start … by asking about that thing you are giving attention to … how will it make you feel?  From my own experience, I have consumed information in the past without questioning not only whether it is true, but the source.  Hence, being selective can be a very, very good thing.

And being selective directly affects your perspective too.  How can it not?  We can be more selective of what we think about, how we think about it and whether or not it serves us.  It is not about being a snob either.  It is about self-care and self-love.  

It is about taking care of what you need.

Now, you may read this and feel this is unrealistic … sure, perhaps for some, yet again from my experience, every single relationship in my life has transformed … some strengthened, others faded .. but the most important one, with myself, is where I see miracles.

I decide what you read … I decide what you watch … I decide what you listen to … I decide what you talk to others about … I decide …

I am grateful for my life and now, I want the rest of my life to have some meaning, some purpose, some use.  And so, feeding my mind with toxic information is not an option.  I have let go of these things and people in my life.   

Being selective allows you to create your own version of reality … personally, I choose to create a more happier rest of my life ॐ

www.walkstrong.ca

" Where Is The Love … "

What's wrong with the world, mama

People livin' like they ain't got no mamas

I think the whole world addicted to the drama

Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma ...

But if you only have love for your own race

Then you only leave space to discriminate

And to discriminate only generates hate

And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah

Madness is what you demonstrate

And that's exactly how anger works and operates

Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight

Take control of your mind and meditate

Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'

Children hurt and you hear them cryin'

Can you practise what you preach

And would you turn the other cheek ...

Where is the love (The love)

Where is the love (The love)

Where is the love, the love, the love

~ Black Eyed Peas ~ Where Is The Love? ~

***

Why do we spend so much of our life wasting time on people that don’t deserve our energy?  You know the moments when we feel completely exhausted, drained and shut down.

Energy grows or diminishes based on what you are doing and who you surround yourself with.  There are people, places and things that make us feel like we are building our energy banks, rejuvenate us and help us to do our best.  And there are others that zap the energy right out of you.  People are exceptional and our number one resources but not all people are helpful.

Understanding how people affect you means that you can do a better job matching what you need to what your energy requires.  Sometimes we need to be more judicious about reducing time with people who don't match our energy.

It’s not about whether or not the person is a good or bad person … 

it’s about whether or not they are the right energy type for you ... 

Defining personality types helps to understand why we leave feeling out of sorts from some interactions and inspired by others.  It has helped me decide what to do and who I choose to spend time with in the future.

Here is an exert from an article I recently read that defined energy types … 

do you identify with one?

“The Positives

• Buzzers. These are excited electrons. People who are so thrilled to be around other people and in the world, talking with them is like getting a burst of inspiration.  They can be your muses, your inspirations, your 
• Happys. Generally positive, seem to be happy almost all the time. People you would skip with, laugh with, enjoy being with.  They aren’t as physically excited as the Buzzers, but they are generally happy and have a positive attitude about most things.
• Wonder Listeners. People who can hear what you are saying without you saying it; who seem to listen to you with both their bodies and their ears, and who exude a positive radiance without necessarily saying or doing anything, are your Wonder Listeners. 
• Coaches and Mentors. These are people who seem to have endless stores of hope and inspiration designed just for you. People who are genuinely interested in what you have to offer and how you are doing. The coaches and mentors are usually a check-in, once a week or once a month, and they offer their advice and wisdom to you in their interactions.

The Middle Balance (Balancers and Grounders)

• Quiet Stabilizers. People who are refreshing, rejuvenating, and inspiring without being showy or ostentatious. Someone you can sit quietly in a park with, without talking very much, and leave happier. These people don’t toot their own horn, and likely don’t know how cool they are. Yet being around them is satiating, relaxing, restorative.
• Feedbacks. People who tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. These people can be mistakenly labeled as negatives, but they still have your best interests in heart and are actually looking out for you in the long run. Keep them around, but note the times when you aren’t up for receiving feedback and need encouragement instead – and seek them out when you need smart advice.
• The Strugglers and Changers. There are people who are struggling, working towards change, and are sometimes frustrated or caught in-betweens. They are on their way towards becoming the person they want to be, and conversations with them are raw, open, inspiring, hard, and generally variable.  

Negatives

• The Repetitives and Non-Changers. People who are stuck in a problem that you’ve listened to for years. Their complaints are the same, over and over again, and they don’t bring anything new to the table. Each time, it feels like you’re stuck in déjà-vu, because you’re still talking about how to deal with their terrible relationships, bad work situation, or general malaise. To deal with these types, tell them, politely and firmly, that you don’t want to talk about their ____ problem anymore. “I appreciate all the struggles you are having with your job situation, but I’d like to not talk about that anymore. I know you are working hard on it. Let’s focus and talk about new things when we meet.”
• The Fakes. There are people who masquerade as positives – the words they use are cheery, they tell you what they think you want to hear; they quote inspirational things and bits. But the substance is not there. And, more importantly, you are not rejuvenated by the words or the ideas in the way you are around Quiet Wonders or Listeners or Buzzers. Some people are obviously fake; others not so obviously. At the end of the day, what’s most important is how you respond when you’re around them.
• Negative Influences. There are people who are wonderful, interesting, bright, and creative. And yet, for some reason, you are negatively influenced when you are around them. It’s not that they themselves are bad people – it’s that you make bad choices when you are around them. These are the trickiest people to identify, because there’s nothing about them that’s bad or easy to rationalize avoiding. It’s how they influence you that tells you about whether or not it’s a good person to have in your life.
• Toxic. These are the people who make you feel like shutting down when you’re around them. The people that drain you, that zap your energy, that are filled with negativity and cutting remarks. Most of us quickly eliminate these people from our lives after just a few interactions. They are easy to spot and identify. If you still have them around, ask yourself why? What do you benefit from being with a toxic person?”

" Quiet ... "

I am heading for a time of quiet

When my restlessness is past

And I can lie down on my blanket

And release my fists at last

I am heading for a time of solitude

Of peace without illusions

When the perfect circle

Marries all beginnings and conclusions

~ Paul Simon ~ Quiet ~ 

***

Why is it so hard to find peace and joy, continuously oveflow with bliss on a daily basis and seem free of problems and emotional pain?  Maybe because we mentally punish ourselves for failing, concluding that we don’t deserve it.  We can become easily distracted by the harsh demands of modern life and at times losing touch with our natural state of being.  But we do deserve it and there is a way if we choose to bring clarity in our lives, starting by quieting our minds.

You see, most of our problems stem from our mind.  Take note ... some external even happens, we choose to see only one side of the story, and then interpret the situation such that it cuases some form of mental conflict, resulting in emotional suffering.  Is that about right?  The advice telling us to just “forget about it” is not that simple.  After years and years of conditioning on how to attract conflict in our lives, to just “stop thinking about it” is not very effective.  We need to get to the root of the problem to truly solve it.  We need to go to our innner space and de-clutter.  Imagine if you will, like cleaning out an old closet of “stuff”, similar analogy.

And, our mind has a difficult time becoming still ... it is meant to be dynamic, move and participate.  Therefore practicing stillness, or meditation, where you focus on one thing can be tougher than one realizes.  You will probably notice that the moment you become silent, random and unrelated thoughts start to distract you from your inner silence.  You become cluttered with useless information also known as junk.  And where does this “junk” come from .... well we may be unconsciously feeding our selves with distractions we’ve declared as urgent and important .. watching TV, updating social media, checking email, gossip ... all pulling at us, at our attention and away from things that are truly important to us.  Recognize that the information we expose ourselves to fills our inner space on some level, and affects our emotions and desires.

Our ultimate desire is to get back to our inner selves, one which is sacred, wise, peaceful and eternal.  We can do this by waking up and taking control of our destiny ... start with what you focus on and allow into your life.  Observe your thoughts and words.  Limit your exposure to the “urgent and important” distractions.  You have the power to decide what you let into your inner space.  Be conscious of what you allow inside, beginning with your own words, thoughts and attention and become the guardian of your own mind.  

"Staying Conscious ..."

Compliments of DailyOM ...

"Staying Conscious"

Staying Grounded in a Big City or Busy World

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down. You will discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive. 

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world. 

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place. 

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to. 

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you. 

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship. 

7. See the larger picture. Remember the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion. 

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull. 

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality. 

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

"For a more grounded life, choose not to get caught up in the fast-paced world around you"