Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts

Monday, April 13, 2015

" Self - Inflicted ... "

“ ... Every bone's been broken
But my heart is still wide open

I can't stop, don't care if I lose
Baby, you are the weapon I choose
These wounds are self inflicted ... 

With each scar there's a map
That tells a story, what a souvenir of
Young love's like jumping out an airplane
Riding a tidal wave on an ocean of emotion
My heart rips me wide open ... 

These wounds are self inflicted ... “

~ Katy Perry ~ Self Inflicted ~
***




Community and connection … the heart of what lies at times of crisis.  That call on all of us to assess honestly what we are willing to give up, and how far we are ready to serve others.  

Serving others … I use to think that it was selfish when you had to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others.  I use to think that the inconvenience to ourselves outweighed the sacrifice to save another.  Yet sometimes our intention in the acts of sacrifice is not only the bond that connects us, but also the challenge to take good care of ourselves.

Let’s be honest … most of us agree to do more than we can really afford.  We try to build the relationship, support it, manage it.  Yet very quickly we learn how the scales tip out of balance when the willingness to make sacrifice is not reciprocal.  

And so we are on THE quest … for that place where we know when we are over-stretching, again … yet not closing off the impulse to serve, to help and to create community and connection through personal sacrifice for the overall good.



“ … our long term well being 
relies on the health of our community … “



We serve out of less-than-perfect lives … focusing on different tasks and taking care of other people’s needs that we forget to take care of ourselves.  We attempt to manage our roles, relationships and responsibilities … we move mindlessly from one thing to another, trying to fit it all in … yet what we need is balance … a balance between service and self-care.


“ … Studies have shown that couples that have a balance 
between ME time and WE time
are happier  … “



Self-care is the most compassionate act you can perform for yourself because you cannot give what you don’t have.  When we practice self-care we are better parents, offspring, siblings, friends and partners.  Because when we fill up our wells, we can future others while also enjoying the bliss of our own self-love.  

Drop limited beliefs about honouring your wants and needs.  Fulfill your potential and discover your purpose, your joy because self care  … allows for more sharing and nurturing because there is plenty to give without being depleted or exhausted … allows you to serve others well because you have acknowledged your own worth and cultivated ways to fill and refill your well.

The shift is necessary and is possible, when you chose to re frame your belief system and thoughts you have around self-care.  You can choose to let go of resentment of others.  You can choose to stop being a victim of others’ demands.  You can choose what you self-inflict ... and the result, experiencing joy in this present moment.





Tuesday, April 15, 2014

" Giver … "

Dream wild in waves of confidence and heart 
Don't underestimate the power of your part 
Throw the rules away 
Trust your gut and make it 
On your own 

Don't underestimate the glories of the road 
Because when you're on your own you've got it all 
Throw the rules away 
To stand and deliver now. 
All is yours 

~ Hot Water Music ~ Giver ~
***


In our society, given the constant demands of our time and energy, we need to have large reserves of empathy ... it is crucial.  Yet all this empathy can also leave you exhausted and unable to care anymore because you’re a giver ... and maybe you just gave too much.


.caregiver burnout ... compassion fatigue ... empathy emptied ... giver gave out


Interestingly, most don’t recognize that they too, need care.  Usually, they feel they can handle the pressure.  But the most important way to prevent compassion fatigue is to care for yourself before you care for anyone else ... eventually your body will tell your mind ... listen.  And this is very different from everyday work stresses as the fatigue results from taking on the emotional burden of a patient’s agony.  Some even equate it to a post traumatic stress disorder with symptoms that can range from irritability, disturbed sleep, outbursts of anger, intrusive thoughts and maybe even a desire to avoid anything having to do with the patient's struggle. 
... all from trying to help others ...



So some ways that may help relieve the pressures ...

mindful meditation decreases depression and anxiety
writing in a journal helps you express your feelings
grounding yourself daily 
taking a vacation or break
asking for help to lighten the load


Care giving is a job ... and for some of us through sickness and in health.  So the best you can do for anyone is the best for yourself, because remember ...


“it’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it” 
~ Lena Horne