" Self - Inflicted ... "

“ ... Every bone's been broken

But my heart is still wide open

I can't stop, don't care if I lose

Baby, you are the weapon I choose

These wounds are self inflicted ... 

With each scar there's a map

That tells a story, what a souvenir of

Young love's like jumping out an airplane

Riding a tidal wave on an ocean of emotion

My heart rips me wide open ... 

These wounds are self inflicted ... “

~ Katy Perry ~ Self Inflicted ~

***

Community and connection … the heart of what lies at times of crisis.  That call on all of us to assess honestly what we are willing to give up, and how far we are ready to serve others.  

Serving others … I use to think that it was selfish when you had to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others.  I use to think that the inconvenience to ourselves outweighed the sacrifice to save another.  Yet sometimes our intention in the acts of sacrifice is not only the bond that connects us, but also the challenge to take good care of ourselves.

Let’s be honest … most of us agree to do more than we can really afford.  We try to build the relationship, support it, manage it.  Yet very quickly we learn how the scales tip out of balance when the willingness to make sacrifice is not reciprocal.  

And so we are on THE quest … for that place where we know when we are over-stretching, again … yet not closing off the impulse to serve, to help and to create community and connection through personal sacrifice for the overall good.

“ … our long term well being 

relies on the health of our community … “

We serve out of less-than-perfect lives … focusing on different tasks and taking care of other people’s needs that we forget to take care of ourselves.  We attempt to manage our roles, relationships and responsibilities … we move mindlessly from one thing to another, trying to fit it all in … yet what we need is balance … a balance between service and self-care.

“ … Studies have shown that couples that have a balance 

between ME time and WE time

are happier  … “

Self-care is the most compassionate act you can perform for yourself because you cannot give what you don’t have.  When we practice self-care we are better parents, offspring, siblings, friends and partners.  Because when we fill up our wells, we can future others while also enjoying the bliss of our own self-love.  

Drop limited beliefs about honouring your wants and needs.  Fulfill your potential and discover your purpose, your joy because self care  … allows for more sharing and nurturing because there is plenty to give without being depleted or exhausted … allows you to serve others well because you have acknowledged your own worth and cultivated ways to fill and refill your well.

The shift is necessary and is possible, when you chose to re frame your belief system and thoughts you have around self-care.  You can choose to let go of resentment of others.  You can choose to stop being a victim of others’ demands.  You can choose what you self-inflict ... and the result, experiencing joy in this present moment.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Altruism ... "

What have we done, where do we want to go?

The city sleeps forever

It slithers away as we speak

And we tell ourselves to deny it ...

Humility it's creation

Altruism and freedom

Rethink traditions at last

Let this be our manifest

Their lies dominate our inner eyes

While the sounds of laughter shake our dying earth

~ Deadlock ~ Altruism ~

***

To be altruistic is to reach out to help others in a generous way.  To be altruistic is to reach out a hand to lift someone else up ... the greatest gift for the heart.  

And not only does it benefit the person being helped, but practicing altruism also has many benefits for the person doing the helping.  The gifts that one receives from giving back and from reaching out to help others are immense and priceless.

Psychologists refer to a term called “helpers high”, the feeling charity volunteers have they perform an act of kindness.  You see when a person practices altruism the brain produces dopamine and endorphins, feel good chemicals.  Physically, our nervous and cardiovascular systems relax.  And if the act of kindness is face to face, the body produces a bonding hormone, oxytocin, which binds to the lining of our blood vessels and causes the dilation of arteries, reduction of blood pressure.  At the same time, kindness benefits our nervous system because of a more active vagus nerve.  The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the human body which controls inflammation in the body.  

So do you have to go and change someones life to feel these benefits?  Not at all ... the smallest of acts can make a difference ... pay a compliment, buy someone a coffee ... do something you wouldn't usually do, but which will make a difference.

Good deeds are rewarded in kind ...

And have you ever noticed that altruistic people are happier?  By helping others, they focus outside of self, away from the inward looking nature of anxiety and depression.  The feeling of having acted humanely brings joy.  The fulfillment of a deep impulse of the soul  it is the satisfaction of an ethical impulse—one of the elements, along with free-will, that makes up our humanity. 

“There is real happiness in responding to our 

impulses to do good, 

to rise to our humane dimension. 

One must experience it to grasp the joy and feeling 

of having acted in conformity with one’s true nature.”

Practicing altruism is participating in the Divine’s work ...

So instead of taking a 21 or 30 day challenge to practice altruism, try to incorporate it into your day.  Because practicing altruism is at the heart of natural spirituality and developing this practice support the development of a whole range of moral qualities ... kindness, generosity, listening to others, being attentive to others, being affectionate.  Practice altruism and challenge yourself to go against your deeply ingrained tendency to seek your own well-being, your own comfort.

“ Altruism is innate, but it is not instinctual.  

Everybody’s wired for it, but a switch has to be flipped” 

~ David Rakoff