" Nice … "

... A careless smile and it begins to snow 

And it hurts me to think 

That you might never know 

That I've got this thing about you 

In case you don't understand 

There's something else I meant to tell you 

There is nothing better 

Than being with you 

And I'm feeling so nice 

There is nowhere better 

Than here with you 

And it's feeling so nice 

Did I already say 

'Cause you make me forget 

I might as well be brave and tell 'ya 

~ Duran Duran ~ Nice ~

***

Are you a people pleaser?  Do you have a hard time saying no?  Do you then find that rather than feeling good, you feel used?  Could just be that you are just “too nice” .... 

Too nice?? How is that even possible?  How can you be too much of something good?  Yes, I have been through this conflict a number of times in my life.  You see, through our struggles and challenges, we develop a sense of sympathy towards others.  We understand everyone has a story and if we take the time to learn about them, we will enrich our lives that much more.  And we also do something for someone and expecting nothing in return.  This how we continue to nurture our relationships for what they are, not what they can give you.  

When you say yes to others don’t say no to yourself...

The “too nice” nature can land us in trouble because we end up being too good for our own good.  We all know that it is never a good idea to let people walk all over you and take advantage of you.  Just think ... if your whole life is spent doing things for everyone around you, where is the time for yourself?

Emotional Chaos ... exhausted, defeated and discouraged ...

Personally, I don’t believe there are “wrong” people.  I believe there are people who make poor choices.  And those choices can apply to a person that is too nice.  How so?  well, a poor reason to be nice to someone is so that they thank you, accept you and raise your social standing.  And I feel that feeling superior when you help others out misses the purpose entirely.

So how do you stop being “too nice”?  

• You and those in your life realize that you cannot be available for them every single time they need you
• You start being “too nice” to YOU 
• Decide who and what is important in your life & put your energy towards it
• If you have to decline, say it confidently, genuinely and respectfully

Understand that the moment you settle for less in your life, you will get exactly what you asked for ... directly affecting your own well-being in mind, body and spirit.  Learn the difference between being nice and being too nice because in the end, it can be for your own good.  

" Feed Your Ego ... "

"Love's only here for a while
Make up your mind
This is the last time
Oh the last time
I feed your ego
I'm not feeding your ego "

~ Feed Your Ego ~ Angel Taylor

***

Feeding your ego in illness.  How do we do it?  If we complain, feel self-pity, or resent being ill, our ego becomes stronger.  And when we make the illness a part of our identity, then we feed our ego in illness ... "I am a sufferer of such and such a dis-ease".  Oh, well thank-you for clearing that up and letting us know who you really are.

We all know someone in our lives that has a big ego and lives a grand life ... and then suddenly they become gentle, kind and humble when they are ill.  They gain insight, they access their inner truth and speak words of wisdom ... until they get better and with the return of their energy, so does their ego.  Did they get the lesson or??

Regardless, our ego burns up considerable amounts of energy when we constantly feed it instead of managing it.  When we are ill, our energy level can be quite low.  We use most of our energy for the healing of the body, so there is considerable less for egoic thinking and emotions.  Yet in some cases, the ego retains the energy it needs for its own purposes ... and these people who experience a strengthening of the ego in illness take much longer to recover.  And unfortunately, some never do .. the illness becomes chronic and a permanent part of their false sense of self.

My experience with illness has been humbling.  Those moments I have in my journey when I don't feel like I have the energy to get back up, I mange to do so.  I have had to find the energy, courage and strength to get back up.  I look for empathy and not sympathy.  I reaffirm my intention to practice loving, kindness and compassion.  I remind myself each day to work at letting go of ego clinging, selfishness, controlling behaviour, negative thoughts, possessiveness, aggression, resentment and confusion.  I resolve each day to find one small way that I can change a frozen behaviour pattern and try to do so.  

By continuing to use my awareness to genuinely understand my ill patterns and behaviours, I have a fair chance to release them by assessing how fruitful they actually are.  I stop feeding them and as a result take the ego out of illness.