" Gifting ... "

" ... It's funny how it starts, just how it all begins
You get your sights on dreams, and man a thousand different things
You are on for yourself, you're chasing cool desire
You get addicted fast, but man you're playin' with fire

Then there's a day that comes to you
When you get all you want, but there's a space inside that's still as empty as it was
'Till an angel comes your way and man she's fallin fast
You know she's so in need but she is to afraid to ask

So you hold on out your hands and catch her best you can
And in givin' love you feel a better man

And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you see ... "

 

~ Blue ~ The Gift ~

***

Purchasing the perfect gift, tis the season … the practice of giving extends to all forms of giving.  Yet I believe there is no separation from givers, receivers or gifts.  I believe all of life is always giving and receiving at the same time. 

Yet, if a gift is not in material form, is it still a gift?  Can the gift of listening, the gift of love, the gift of creation, the gift of attention and the gift of effort satisfy?  Is that too easy, too simple, too trivial to be considered a gift …

There can be a few ways to practice unconditional giving … giving the gift of kindness, compassion and generosity … giving fully and without reservation the gift of your presence and respect.

My spiritual teacher told us recently that if you needed something you would have it … therefore if you don’t have it, you don’t need it … simple to consider but not so simple to practice.  Because we are told how, why, when and where to buy that special gift for that special someone … can your presence then simply be enough …. Yes!

Gifting those that have - have everything.  Have everything … everything they have.  Something to consider when fighting the crowds for a parking spot, or a sale item, or the latest gadget, or the newest trend.  Because you are enough and you always have been.  Realizations set in that you cannot buy love and friends.  You just need to be … be real and be present.  Gifting is a beautiful gesture if there are no strings attached … unconditional gifting.

And there it is … the gift is within YOU!

Do we give from the heart or give to get the best reaction … do we give because we love or give to win them over … questions best to be considered in stillness, where the answers are always available.  Regardless of your gifting choices, most of us know the more you give the more you receive as the opportunity is the gifting itself.

" The Perfect Gift ... "

" Close your eyes and I will sing a song for you
I will always be there
I will always love you
And while you’re dreaming I will row your boat ashore
I will always be there for you

... You gave me the perfect gift."

~ Canadian Tenors ~ The Perfect Gift ~

***

The Perfect Gift ... does it really exist?  Perhaps in the eyes of the gift giver ... but what about the gift receiver?  From my own experience, I have struggled with learning how to fully take in a gift.  Gratitude ... yes, but even when I am writing thank-you notes and lists, have I fully received, taking in and assimilated the gift I've been given.  If this sounds familiar to you as well, I recently read an article to help us in this process.  To start, we need to recognize that we are being given a gift.  Then we need to create enough openness to take it in.  Next we need to appreciate it, value it or the intentions of the giver.  Finally, we need to feel that we deserve it .. the gift is neither too much, too little or too out of line with who we are.  For me, this hits home ... the feeling that I deserve it, I am worthy ... I have definitely struggled with this.


Seems really simple right ... so why then do some of us still struggle with this?  One reason may be we feel resistant to receiving a gift that isn't "meant" for us.  Not everyone's energy is aligned with ours ... some gifts comes with so many strings and expectations that make us very uncomfortable.  If you identify with this, then you have probably learned how to receive by looking at the meaning behind any feelings of resistance.  Sometimes they are messages telling you that it isn't wise to accept the offering.  It is important to listen to you inner "no" or "yes" but remember to treat each gift and giver differently ... are you projecting your past experience on the present?


Going beyond receiving a gift ... are you a wide receiver in life?  Do you easily accept favours and compliments?  Does this create feelings of guilt or insecurity?  Do you have fear that you don't have the means to reciprocate?  Another reason we don't receive help is that, on a subconscious level, it may make us feel inferior.  In some cultures, the giver is in the power position ... while the receiver is representing neediness.  Even when we are truly in need, our ego will often resist the discomfort of fully receiving.  


So how do you become better "wide receivers"?  


"Create Presence.  When someone offers you a kind word, a present, a favour, be aware of your state of mind .. if you rushed, distracted or preoccupied, you have much less capability to fully receive.


Avoid Judgement.  Resist the urge to think about what kind of offering you would have preferred.  Instead consider that the giver might only have a loving intention.


See the Gift as Message.  Appreciate the insight presented to you, the energy and blessing taking place.


Consciously Open Yourself.  Remind yourself to cultivate openness to whatever form love takes ... what is offered to you & the grace supporting it"


"When we improve our ability to fully receive, we will begin to notice how many gifts are being offered to us at every moment ... and whatever we give back becomes a part of the same dance ... the dance of giving and receiving, in which we are all one another's partners" (YogaJournal, December 2011)

" Ask ... "

" Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try

Ask Me, I won't say "No" - How Could I?"

~ The Smiths ~ Ask ~

***

I had another great week full of visits from some beautiful girlfriends ... time to connect and re-connect.  They took the time, made the effort and reached out.  Loved, supported and blessed ... Yet, if I am honest, during my Gerson journey, I haven't felt like that all the time.  It's not like it isn't around me, everyday, of course it is  ... but am I am open to receive it?  Ding, Ding, Ding ... yep a HUGE realization for me.  So, I shared this with one of my friends today and I was excited to find out that we had another thing in common ... we are both givers, and have a hard time asking.  Once we connected on this, we both agreed that we were sooooo ready to receive ~ emotionally and spiritually.  But how?

You see I have always been one to give, I love to give.  Just ask my lovelies how much I love birthdays, celebrations, gatherings and christmas.  Le sigh .... such fun gifting.  And with no expectations.  Yet I use to put so much effort into giving, leaving very little energy to asking.  So what I was receiving was not necessarily what I needed especially at that moment, when I needed it the most.  

What do I need, what do I want and how do I ask .... I know that some of you reading this can completely relate.  My head full of random thoughts, I started wondering why I had such a hard time "asking".  Specifically asking for help.  Recently someone said to me ... "oh you are so strong, you are going to get through this no problem ... I am not worried about you".  And instead of being elated by the vote of confidence, I cried.  Why?  Because at the moment, inside, I didn't feel that strong, and the inner child just wanted someone to say "I know this is hard, and I know that you can do this ... but I also know that sometimes you may think you can't ... those times, I am here for you".  

Now I have expressed to family and friends that I had an "emo" moment, and usually the response is, "why didn't you call me?" ... good question, why didn't I.  I guess because of programming.  Being brought up to not air your dirty laundry, because someone will use it against you one day .... or not to show your weakness, because someone will laugh at you ... and the truth is we all experience this.  But how damaged we are from this shapes our behaviour.  We have all been there when we have shared too much, felt a bit embarassed or humbled after the fact ... wondering, what that person will think of them.  But going back to being authentic, knowing your truth and lifting the disguise ... the key is choosing who you do this with.  

From experience, I realize that I use to ask for help in all the wrong places ... looking for assistance AND affirmation from persons that were so into themselves, that felt pity, not empathy, enjoyed the chaos instead of calming it down ... felt better when I felt worse.  And each time I got nothing, felt vulnerable and empty ... and hurt, I closed off ... deciding that "it's a cruel world" and I am not going to put myself out there .... but now I realize that I was asking from those that had nothing to give because they were only in the habit of taking, and taking more.  Energy suckers ... watch out!  there are loads of them ... and in the end, you miss out, depriving yourself.

So where do we go from here?  Well with awareness comes the opportunity to learn, change, to grow.  Wanting more out of my relationships, I am learning, once again ... to ask.  And realizing that asking is not the same as a burden.  Knowing that it is okay to ask from my treasured family and friends who are waiting in the wings to give.  Recognizing who is in it for the long haul, through this difficult time, who I can count on, and who wants nothing in return but for me to be around a wee bit longer.  

And, especially opening myself up to the blessings above ... asking above to give only what I can handle, and what I can gracefully deal with ... and helping me to create the space to be ready to receive.