" Cup Of Coffee ... "

" I really love 

To hate this

Love hate

Hate love relationships

Are over-rated 

Leave it all behind me

You'll see it 

When you finally find me

Comatose or pretty close

Cup of coffee 

And an overdose

~ Katy Perry ~ Cup Of Coffee ~

***

I’m closing in on a year now since I had an actual cup of coffee ... yep, this former “Venti Non-Fat X-tra No-Foam Chai Latte” princess has been caffeine free.  Well, that doesn’t include of course the coffee enemas, which is an integral part of the Gerson Therapy, and if you have visited me before you are aware of this.  Those that are new, yes you read that right ... coffee enema AKA coffee break AKA upside down coffee.  

So why is coffee forbidden on GT?  Well caffeine by mouth causes undesirable stimualtion of the digestive system.  Orally taken caffeine overly excites the central nervous system (read below), while the essential oils disturb digestion.  In contrast, when you take a coffee enema, it offers an entirely advantageous effect on the liver where, aside from detoxification, it increases the production of gluthathione S-transferase (a desirable enzyme) ... stimulating the liver to remove toxins from our bodies.  

Now do you really get that positive pep from your morning cuppa joe? ... from the research I’ve done, it seems that many of the positive effects of this “drug” become negative when the amount of caffeine consumed is increased, starting with a physical dependence.  You see too much caffeine is associated with reduced coordination, insomnia, headaches, nervousness and dizziness.  And when you go “cold turkey”, from my experience, you will experience withdrawal symptoms such as headache, fatigue and muscle pain.

And here some more beans for thought ... caffeine works by competing with adenosine, a chemical produced by the brain.  Normall adenosine binds receptors to slow down nerve cell activity, but caffeine takes it’s place ~ preventing it from doing its job at these locations in the brain.  And the result?  the activity of these nerve cells increase affecting our central nervous system, kidneys, muscles and cardiovascular system.

Oh and if you think “decaf” is better, think again ... there is still residual caffeine in the coffee and it starts working as soon as 15 minutes after consumption ... taking ~ 6 hours for half of the total caffeine consumed to be eliminated from the body.

So my choice of drug ... my upside down coffees.  And if you are interested in finding out more, check out The Wellness Warrior’s how to do a coffee enema here ... Bottoms Up!!

" Creepin' In ... "

"There's a big ol' hole
goes right through the sole
Of this old shoe
And the water on the ground
Ain't got no place else its found
So it's only got one thing left to do

Just Creep on in
Creep on in
An' once it has begun
Won't stop until it's done
Sneaking in"

~ Norah Jones ~ Creepin' in ~

***

Just when you think you got it all figured out ... it creeps in ... FEAR.  Once again, I thought I had this bad boy under control ... and bingo bango, it hits you in the face.  So what triggered it this time?  Well it could have been the "personal" visit from the rehabilitation specialist representing the insurance company.  Yeah, you read that right, they wanted to "put a face to a name".  Read between the lines ... they wanted to make sure I am doing what I say I am doing.  Not checking in but checking up.  Am I paranoid, nah, am I a realist, you better believe it.  

In preparing for the visit, Russell suggested show them my enema "apparatus" ... don't worry that didn't happen!  But I offered to show her the 50 lbs of carrots, the Gerson approved juicer, the medications cupboard, shower filters, and the list goes on ... nope, not interested ... They just want to know when you can go back to work.  Cancer Scmancer.  Not that I am surprised ... but oddly that is not what triggered the fear.  

So what did then, what triggered my FEAR ... let's see ... well it could have been the vacant look when I started explaining the therapy, no wait maybe it was the pity in their eyes thinking that you are fooling yourself by "healing your body" wholistically, or was it the feeling of being scolded and told that "you know this is a serious dis-ease which require serious measures like mastectomies", hmmm or maybe it was the questioning on if I regret the treatment choice because it is SO labour intensive .... WOW, thanks for all that, now I REALLY know what I am up for. Forget that you don't really want to know that I am on week 38 working this 12/hour a day programme, 7 days a week, with no financial support, with Russell by my side every moment managing my feelings, emotions, physical pains, aches and just trying to keep an optimistic view on a dis-ease that has become the number one killer, surpassing heart dis-ease ... 

Le sigh ... just breath and this too shall pass.

... And it did, and I am better as I write this, releasing the fear, pain and sadness that comes on this journey. I was disappointed in myself, angry actually after all of this ... asking myself how could I let this get to me ... telling myself, you were doing so well ... but realizing that hey, guess what, you are human and it is OKAY because this is one more check stop, questioning my path ... but I know that no matter whatever comes our way, Russell and I will handle it, we always do ... and besides what's the worst thing that can happen?  Oh right, it already has ... cancer.  

Funny, as I was about to wrap up this blog there was a knock on the door ... UPS delivery, the book I had on order "The Biology of Belief ~ Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles" by Bruce Lipton.  A sign perhaps, or just very good timing ... either way, I'll take it.

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyways" 
~ John Wayne

" Headache ... "

"Sometimes it's just so hard 
To put up with you
I've come to rely on a pill or two
'Cause you cause me such pain
Why does it act this way?
I'm so frustrated with everything
Won't you be nice?
Bring some ice for my head?
Headache, you give me such a headache ... "

~ Weezer ~ Headache ~ 

***

The last few days I have been nursing headaches off and on.  Dull aches, leaving me a bit agitated.  This happened more in the beginning of the therapy.  At that time, I figured that I was going through my venti, non-fat, extra hot, Tazo chai latte withdrawals.  And when I would do a "coffee treatment", I would feel better and the headaches would soon go away.  So to have them now, week 37 of the therapy ... it is not fun.  But no worries, it is part of the process, and can be expected ... it's just not that fun.

You see when our bodies detox, our brains do as well.  Makes sense right? ... after all, our brain is another organ.  And, what I am realizing is that detoxification comes in waves as my body continues to heal, and the therapy continues to work harder and harder.  I am noticing re-arising and brief passing of symptoms that I had while filling my body with daily toxins before my diagnosis.  Things like rashes coming up and then vanishing.  Muscle cramps briefly resurfacing and then vanishing.  Backaches remanifest and then go away.  Same goes for stomach aches, stuffy sinuses, sprains and yes, headaches ... when we retain toxins, headaches can develop.  

So the solution ... well the Gerson doctors have said that if you need to, add another coffee treatment ... and they are right.  Immediately I feel the effect of the headache subsiding, it is quite an experience to be honest.  The enema aids in the elimination of the liver's toxic wastes.  And if you think it is "uncomfortable" to think about, let alone talk about an enema, here is a great video from the Jess, the Wellness Warrior, you can view in the privacy of your own ... ahem! bathroom!

Don't worry either ... it is a PG-13 version so it will leave you informed and not blushed!

"Work It ..."

"Is it worth it, let me work it...
I put my bang down, flip it and reverse it...
If you got a big deal, let me search it...
I'd like to get to know ya so I could show ya...

Just make sure you ahead of the game..."

~ Missy Elliott ~ Work It ~

***

Yesterday I looked at the calendar and the weeks I have been on the Gerson Therapy ~ finishing off week 29 yesterday and starting WEEK 30 today.  Yep, completed 29 weeks ~204 days ~ 4,896 hours ~ 293,760 minutes ... and counting!  Since the inception of the programme there has been a few changes in regards to the reduction of medication and coffee "treatments", and the addition of certain foods again.  But really the changes have been physical ~ my energy levels are better, my skin tone is better (carrot glow y'all), and my body has changed.  There has been a significant shift in the last couple of weeks.  It is hard to describe but I what I can say is that I feel like I am truly healing.  One of the naturopath's I have been seeing said to me last week that "Once you start living your life instead of preventing your death, healing begins".  And it struck a cord, an aha! moment ... now I think I have already adopted that attitude, and have had to in a way due to the severity of the situation, but it is interesting when someone else says it to you in a way that just makes sense.  Hopefully it does for those of you that are reading this.  

Every day I work my programme.  I don't know how else to explain it - not much changes in the routine ... I am still on 13 fresh juices on the hour, every hour ... I am still on 4 coffee enemas ... I am still have oatmeal with fruit for breakfast ... I am still eating the special Hippocrates soup, baked potatoes and veggies for lunch AND dinner ... I am still on castor oil twice a week ... I am still on the Gerson medications combined with herbal and homeopath meds.  My days still begin at 6:30AM and end at 8:30PM ... I do have time between 9:30am and Noon & 2:30pm and 5:00pm for phone/personal visits, yoga, walks, meditation, blogging, and writing ~ staying pretty close to home though.  My day continues to be very structured, and I really don't mind the routine because I know what is coming and so does my body.  This is the biggest job in my life, my pivotal moment ... to heal my body.  

If you think about it we plan a great deal in our lives .... school, vacations, celebrations, investments ... yet if we don't really plan how to truly take care of ourselves ~ our bodies, our minds ~ the rest may never come.  This is not to be pessimistic, but merrily going along, going thru the motions, thinking that we will never get sick, nothing bad will happen and it won't be me, is probably not the best approach.  That is the approach I had.  I NEVER thought I would be in the situation I am in now, battling cancer.  Yet as I have said before, this is truly a blessing in my life.  Really because, I was so detailed oriented, so focused on the small stuff, and missing out on the big picture.  That has completely changed now.  And maybe this is all happening because I had to stop "sweating the small stuff".  My mind was cluttered with detail conversations about "stuff" ~ what she did, why he did that, what did that really mean ... and internally feeling like it was "all happening to me" because I just wasn't good enough.  A very familiar pattern of thinking in my life ... a pattern that has now thankfully ended.  Ended because over the last 29 weeks I have worked really hard to understand and make those changes.  

When we create harmony in our own minds and hearts, we find it in our lives.  And sometimes it takes the earth to move, or the rug to be pulled beneath us, or the universe to make us just stop for this to happen.  The signs are always there, but when your head is buried in the details, you miss it.  So if you can, take a moment to just be present, and open yourself up to these signs.  You will know what they are ... if things don't feel right, don't ignore it, act on it now.  Don't wait for a painful defining moment in your life to force you to make those changes.  Trust me, I know. 

 ♥ Heal your past, Live your present, Dream your future ♥

"It Takes Two ..."

"It takes two to make a thing go right

It takes two to make it outta sight
Hit it!

My name is Rob, I gotta real funky concept
Listen up, 'cause I'm gonna keep you in step
I got an idea, That I wanna share
You don't like it? So what, I don't care ..."

~ Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock ~ It Takes Two ~

***

It's saturday morning here and I am feeling so good.  It must be because of yesterday.  You see our band, REWAVE, auditioned yesterday for Canada's Got Talent in Edmonton, Alberta.  We were pretty excited to get a pre-registered time for 1PM on Friday after hearing the crazy wait times for the walk-in talents.  Interesting how it all played out though.  Another friend of ours told us about her son's experience on a couple of days earlier, basically waiting close to 4 hours to audition.  Mainly because you may have a pre-registered time of 1PM, BUT so does another 300 to 400 people.  And you get 90 secs of your BEST to wow the judges.  Plus we had to drive 3 hours to the venue ... you can imagine the planning that went into this.

So Russell and I were up early, I doubled up my green juices and my coffee treatments, packed all my carrot and carrot apple juices, meds, potatoes, and soup and upon arrival at home later that night, would double up on my green juices and coffee treatments again.  A bit of re-arranging, and not recommended, but for one day, and a chance to audition for a $100,000 with my bandmates, it was worth it.  We picked up Joelle and started our journey.  The ride up was full of great conversation, vocal exercises and naps (for moi!).  Once we got there, there was a cattle like maze we had to enter with our pink CGT wrist bands brightly displayed.  And as destiny would have it, Russell met a fellow New Zealander named "Louman but you can call him KIWI".  Super nice guy, full of conversations and stories and another supporter of the All Blacks rugby team.  We stood outside in line for less than an hour and then made our way into the ballroom where yet another lineup for registration awaiting.  

Engaging with other talents around us, it was so easy to spot out the "what sells TV" people.  And yes, we were some of them ... WE were in full costume gear, with color, glo fur, sparkle and bling to attract a few photos and whispers in the crowd.  Plus the big east indian Dhool drum Russell was carrying was sure to get people going.  You see REWAVE is a synth-pop, Diva, old school hip hop band ... but we had to audition acoustically because they had nothing available to us but a powerbar.  And this was all disclosed to us the night before ... being professionals, you improvise .... and you guessed it ... that didn't stop us as once we got to the actual audition room, we did "It Takes Two" acoustically, and it was just awesome!  Our energy was raw, organic and electric, and our little audience was moving and bobbin their heads to the groove.  MissJ layed down the smooth rap vocals, Russell played a tribal rhythm that grooved your soul and I supported the whoo /yeah's background sounds and beat.  Afterwards the producer was excited and eager to view our DVD showcase of our synth-pop performances.  

Our feelings were electric, we were re-charged and basking in the moment we had just created.  We had another 3 hour drive home, but it didn't matter, because it was a chance to move to the next level of stardom.  And if we don't move to the next round of auditions, it doesn't matter, because truly it was an unforgettable experience, once in a lifetime to share with family and friends.  Hit it!