" Don't You Worry Child … "

“There was a time

I used to look into my father's eyes.

In a happy home

I was a king, I had a golden throne ...

Now the memory's on the wall.

I hear the songs

From the places where I was born ...

My father said,

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Yeah!”

~ Swedish House Mafia ~ Don’t You Worry Child ~

***

On my daily quest for eternal sunshine, I remind myself that life has ups and downs, we face the good and the bad, we witness the ugly and the beautiful ... day in and day out ... yet the only day, today, is the one to be concerned with.  

Today ... any person can battle just one day, any person.  It is when we add the burdens of those two other days that we can break down.  Those two other days ... yesterday & tomorrow.

remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday ...

dread of what tomorrow may bring ...

Do you reflect on yesterday(s) and see it’s mistakes, cares, faults, blunders, aches and pains … 

or do you see lessons, gifts and blessings?  

We cannot undo a single act we performed. 

We cannot erase a single word we said.

Does tomorrow bring burdens, lack of and poor prognosis … 

or do you see opportunities & possibilities?

You can only live one day at a time

Life is unpredictable not to enjoy each and every moment.  Realizing that our time is limited makes every moment even more important.  Yet knowing the importance of living in the moment and taking action is another.  

My spiritual practices has shown me that thoughts are not necessarily reality.  That when my mind is bogged down with concerns, worries, what-if thoughts and imagined scenarios ... I need to intervene, take control and not believe the potentially terrible outcomes my mind has presented ... why?  because I am still here in the most important moment, now.

Staying in the present requires recognizing the difference between what-ifs and what is.

The more we dwell on, the more it multiplies.  No day is going to be perfect but we can choose to focus more on the happy moments than on the painful ones.  

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.”

" Angry ... "

So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache

Heavy on the memory, you need most

Still want love, ugly, smooth and delicate

Not without affection, not alone

And instead of wishing that it would get better

Man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry

I just need to get over

I'm not angry, anymore

~ Matchbox 20 ~ Angry ~

***

Is it okay to feel angry?  Yes, because anger is a useful emotion.  It gives us feedback that something has happened ... our boundaries have been crossed or we have been violated in some way.  When we feel anger, we are more likely to do something about it .... the trick is to step back from the anger and make a rational decision about what you are going to do.  Yeah, easier said than done right?

You see, when we are in a state of emotional arousal, we don’t necessarily make the best decisions.  Our reasoning conscious mind can let our subconscious mind take control ... and our fight/flight response kicks in.  Why?  Because our brains treat any threats in the same manner ... we feel rage or fear, regardless of the situation.

Anger is a craving or grasping of beliefs around ourselves.  It is a normal emotion that all human beings feel, like sorrow and happiness.  Think about it ... from a young age, we feel anger ... like a newborn turning red and crying with a little twisted face or a two year old throws a temper tantrum.  It is obvious that they are experiencing intense anger and that they have not yet learned to manage their anger.  Sadly, many adults have never learned to manage their anger either.  They may not behave in quite the same manner as the two year old, but still harmful to self.

So is it better to express or suppress these emotions?  Studies have shown that people who are shy and non-assertive, have a greater prevalence of tumours than other personality types ... because shyness is associated with suppressing of emotions, particularly negative ones, like anger, resentment and bitterness.  Holding onto these emotions can literally eat away at you.  Now that doesn’t mean that every shy person will develop cancer, but it is definitely something to consider. 

My opinion?  Express yourself ... constructively.  Because life is energy in play and the more free flowing the energy is the more vibrant you feel.  Pockets of energy which are suppressed, or “held”, within you become sources of resistance to the free flow of your life expression.  They tend to lose their power over you and their ability to cause harm.

Realization: Forgiving is not about ‘giving’ something to the person who has wronged you.  It is about ‘giving’ yourself the permission to release the burden of carrying those emotions.

Learning to channel your feelings into words or actions that are not hurtful, positive and healthy will unburden you .... because managing anger destructively is actually allowing your anger to manage you.