" How Deep Is Your Love ... "

How deep is your love, How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour …

And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show
How Deep Is Your Love

~ Bee Gees ~ How Deep Is Your Love ~

***

Don’t stop believing … sometimes, they are just words.  Constantly moving forward, pushing through, and living regardless of the chaos in your life.  And in the midst of challenges, you reach out to another who is suffering.  You try to lighten their load … because you know what it feels like to be down.

Makes sense and sounds wonderful.  But it doesn’t work out that way.  Because most of the time they are so busy formulating their reply or reaction, they’ve missed the intention.  The world is full of cynics and critics.  You cannot go by a moment without being judged – if not by someone else, by yourself.

Personally, the disappointment comes from lack of trust.  They don’t trust you enough.  Period.  It sounds harsh but when a relationship reaches an issue with trust, you don’t have much to work with.  If they think you are going to capitalize on their misery, your energies are served better elsewhere.

And … there is a delicate balance between being and doing.  When do you step in and take action … when do you get out of the way and let life happen?  When you see a “train wreck” about to happen in slow motion involving someone you care for, do you turn away and say … not my problem? 

The recent lesson, loud and clear … 

“mind your own f*cking business”

message received.

So where does this leave you … liberated.  Because you are not responsible for anyone but yourself.  But what if … is for the clouds.  Leave it be, let it go and move on.  Everyone is on their own spiritual journey, lessons, trials and tribulations to endure.  Perhaps it is egotistical for me to think that they need help, they need to learn my lesson, and they need some light shed on the issue … yet if they are not open to receiving, then the point is mute. 

No one asked you to be a martyr.  Ask yourself … is it your place to fix this because if you do, will you minimize their experience of valuable learning opportunities?  Abandon your need to add value and leave space for them to find their own solutions.  Suspend your need to dominate the conversation.  Invite others to listen to their inner voice, their gut and wait for answers.  Check in with yourself and don’t impose your bias.  Be an objective observer.  Remember, there is a difference between getting hurt and being injured.  So now ask yourself … how patient are you willing to be with the people you love?

www.walkstrong.ca

" Deep Hurt ... "

I saw you, like the promised land; 

And I felt you, like the only one. 

I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling down; 

I'm falling, I'm falling inside my heart. 

I'm waiting, I'm stearing your time has come; 

I'm waiting, I'm stearing to burn you down... 

Deep hurt, when you leave me like this ... 

Deep hurt, when you're laughing of me... 

~ Lamia ~ Deep Hurt ~

***

* Deep hurt takes deep healing *

Deep hurt ... when an event or a time in your life where the rug of life itself seems to have been ripped out from beneath your feet.  

About a year and half ago I experience deep hurt.  By a friend, a hurt that was unexpected and very deep.  So I spent a long time reflecting ... asking why the situation happened, asking what I did “wrong”, asking how it could have been different.

* Deep hurt brings deep compassion *

And I have realized that I didn’t need to get over it, I needed to go through it and honor my pain.  Yes, that is right, honor.  Honor the reason why I have the pain to begin with.  It is not about arguing with your new reality, however catastrophic it feels.  It is about saying yes to what is happening at the moment and seeing where you can move yourself into a higher place from that moment forward.  It is about having more loving compassion for yourself rather than pity.  It is about finding that higher reason.

Courage * Integrity * Truth * Love 

I wish I knew then what I know now ... isn’t that always the way?  If only someone would have taught me that within the seed of deep life tragedy is the seed for life renewal ... and take that situation and create positive change ... perhaps my pain would not have lasted so long.

You are not your mind ... You are not your thoughts ...

Perhaps it is about getting through to the other side of your grief and into a place of authentic empowerment which shows you how via your situation you can feel different.

Perhaps it is about adjusting to the new situation with a positive sense of purpose re-igniting hope and replacing despair.

Whatever scars you carry around with you, take the time to not only identify your pain but express it.  In my situation, I didn’t have the opportunity to communicate my hurt.  So instead I scribed what I needed to and burned it.  It  empowered me instead of victimizing me.  

Yet reliving the past ... can be addictive ... it gives us the opportunity to do it again and respond differently ... you know to fight back instead of being passive or to speak your mind instead of staying silent.  It also allows you to possibly understand better. What happened? Where did you go wrong? What should you have done?  But reliving the past also allows you to torture yourself.  Because regardless of what you should have done, you can’t do it now.  

So stop telling the story.  It may seem like another way to understand what happened, or maybe it feels helpful to hear someone say you didn’t do anything wrong and you don’t deserve to hurt. In all reality this just keeps you stuck right where you are: living your life around a memory and giving it power to control you.

I realize that I can’t find happiness by holding onto a painful story.  Sometimes when trying to find a happy ending it is better to look for a new beginning.  I can only find happiness when I let it go and make room for something better.   

It has not been easy to release a pain identity, particularly when I’ve carried it around for a long time.  So I started to remember who I was before that experience and I also consider who I might have become if it hadn’t happened.  Interesting space to play in ...

Hence if you find it hard to completely let go of the hurt forever, start simple ... make room for joy right now.  Just re-focus and allow yourself a little peace.  And because you don’t have to carry your hurt through every moment of your day, allow yourself pockets of peace, shared with people you love and find you need that story a lot less.

" In The Way ... "

Underneath the bridge 

The tarp has sprung a leak 

And the animals I've trapped 

Have all become my pets 

And I'm living off of grass 

And the drippings from the ceiling 

But it's ok to eat fish 

Cause they don't have any feelings 

Something in the way 

Ummmmm 

Something in the way, yea 

Ummmmm ...

~ Nirvana ~ In The Way ~

***

Do you get in your own way?  You know what I mean ... your intentions are pure but you may be sabotaging yourself.  Now your instant reaction may be “no” but subconsciously is where the truth lies, where the real you is.

Another way to ask this is whether your beliefs help you or hinder you?  What is your programming?  What is your patterning?  What are you resisting and why?  Are you even aware of what is being orchestrated again at the subconscious level?

Can you let it go ... Will you let it go ... When?

My practice is teaching me how to listen to the story I tell myself, how to observe this story and detach, how to release this story, how to relax and how to repeat.  As you can imagine, the repeat part if often! ... my reality is that I “start over” all the time, all day, every day.  And I guess if we are all honest with ourselves, we all do this.  We start over.

I write about this because personally, this week I had an event that triggered “stuff”.  Thankfully I have the awareness to know what emotions and feelings are coming up and I ask the question why.

Event ... the “chance” that I walk into the breast cancer “survivors” march/demonstration.  Picture this ... I take a stroll into a building to pick up some tea only to be greeted with “and there are your survivors Calgary” ... pink t-shirts everywhere, the biggest pink ribbon you can find hanging from the ceiling, music, cheering and a crowd - celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness month.  My reaction ... flight.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough as nausea started to take over.  Wow - what a reaction and why so intense are the questions I have been sitting with.  Why didn’t I feel that I am inclusive of this group and instead why did fear take over?

Having courage is to keep going without knowing the outcome ... is to have the ability and willingness to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation.  Well I sure wasn’t courageous in that situation.  

So do I beat myself up over it ... already did.  But then something unexpectedly happened ... a realization.  The reason I reacted the way I did was due to my subconscious beliefs.  My fear comes from believing what the mass media, the doctors, the statistics, the “stories” ... tell us.  They tell us that there is no cure, that once you have cancer then you are terminal ... it is not if but when.  Period.  No discussion.

Yet my reality shows different.  

Three years since this part of my journey began 

I think of four words ... I AM STILL HERE.  

So powerful and so true.  

Against the odds, maybe.  Could things be worse, always.  

Am I healing, most definitely ... 

And I still get in my own way.  My health practitioner told me today to keep doing what I am doing as my body is reacting extremely well.  I replied with “at least I am doing something right” ... right then right there ... I am getting in my own way.  And here I thought I was being entertaining but unfortunately at my own expense.

So the next time my anxiety, doubt, ego, concern and critical inner voice starts up, I am going to consciously try to get out of my own way and re-focus.  Refocus on embracing my success, celebrating my milestones, and enjoying my victories however minute they may seem.  

By changing my focus, I can release what no longer serves me and make room to receive what is available for my highest good.  It is progress, it is improvement, and hopefully it is the path to who I really am.  

Oh yes, always a work in progress ...

" Spirit ... "

To live with grace, to ride the swell

To yet be strong of will

To love the wind, to learn its song

And empty space to fill ...

A winters journey from the moon

To reach the summer sun

To rise again, to sing for you

A song that's yet unsung ...

His spirit joined and so was formed

Ten thousand years ago

Between the swan and Hercules

Where even dark clouds glow

~ John Denver ~ Spirit ~

***

It seems that there is more and more information available about detoxifying your physical body.  Cleanses, shakes, supplements and foods.  But what about your spirit?  

Our spirit is suppose to be perfect and divine.  Yet sometimes we need to cleanse our essence after experiences.  You see each one leaves an imprint and therefore the impact remains, perhaps at a subtle level.  

If we were perfect, we would be in alignment with our true self at all times, even after difficult events.  But we know that this isn’t the case as the life happens and our emotional reactions occur.  We generate thoughts and they mingle into our emotions which create thoughts and patterns ... muddling our spirit.  And our soul expresses itself through our energy field with the brightest presence being our essence.  Hence when our energy field can affect the clarity of our light.

Recognize and Let go of Things That No Longer Serve You ...

Analyze your attitude and behaviours ... how do you view the world?  do you need to take out pettiness and cultivate generosity instead?  try to drop the negative and grow a positive outlook.

Analyze your relationships ... what is causing you stress? can you fix the issue?  are you willing to renew your commitment or is spiritually strong to let go?

Analyze your time ... what activities occupy you?  do you receive strength from what you do?  do yo burden yourself with too much senseless activity?  make more time to nurture yourself.

Analyze unfinished business ... do you have long-standing issues with someone?  can you approach them with love, warmth and honesty?  can you share a solution?  can you let go of grievances?

Analyze your abilities ... do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?  do you compete against others or yourself?  strive for personal best that are in tune with your talents and let others shine where you can’t.

Analyze what will quiet your mind ... can you make peace with the past?  can you seek joy in the future?  forgiveness allows miracles to occur.

Cleansing our spirit allows us to embrace what is present, here and now, for our enrichment.  We release patterns that clog our aura.  And when we reach inside ourselves for strength to live each day to the its fullest our world shines a little brighter and our soul flourishes.