Showing posts with label helping others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helping others. Show all posts

Friday, December 5, 2014

" How Deep Is Your Love ... "


How deep is your love, How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour …

And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show
How Deep Is Your Love

~ Bee Gees ~ How Deep Is Your Love ~

***


Don’t stop believing … sometimes, they are just words.  Constantly moving forward, pushing through, and living regardless of the chaos in your life.  And in the midst of challenges, you reach out to another who is suffering.  You try to lighten their load … because you know what it feels like to be down.

Makes sense and sounds wonderful.  But it doesn’t work out that way.  Because most of the time they are so busy formulating their reply or reaction, they’ve missed the intention.  The world is full of cynics and critics.  You cannot go by a moment without being judged – if not by someone else, by yourself.

Personally, the disappointment comes from lack of trust.  They don’t trust you enough.  Period.  It sounds harsh but when a relationship reaches an issue with trust, you don’t have much to work with.  If they think you are going to capitalize on their misery, your energies are served better elsewhere.

And … there is a delicate balance between being and doing.  When do you step in and take action … when do you get out of the way and let life happen?  When you see a “train wreck” about to happen in slow motion involving someone you care for, do you turn away and say … not my problem? 

The recent lesson, loud and clear … 
“mind your own f*cking business”
message received.





So where does this leave you … liberated.  Because you are not responsible for anyone but yourself.  But what if … is for the clouds.  Leave it be, let it go and move on.  Everyone is on their own spiritual journey, lessons, trials and tribulations to endure.  Perhaps it is egotistical for me to think that they need help, they need to learn my lesson, and they need some light shed on the issue … yet if they are not open to receiving, then the point is mute. 

No one asked you to be a martyr.  Ask yourself … is it your place to fix this because if you do, will you minimize their experience of valuable learning opportunities?  Abandon your need to add value and leave space for them to find their own solutions.  Suspend your need to dominate the conversation.  Invite others to listen to their inner voice, their gut and wait for answers.  Check in with yourself and don’t impose your bias.  Be an objective observer.  Remember, there is a difference between getting hurt and being injured.  So now ask yourself … how patient are you willing to be with the people you love?



www.walkstrong.ca

Friday, January 31, 2014

" Put Me In Coach … "


Well, beat the drum and hold the phone
the sun came out today!
We're born again, there's new grass on the field.
A-roundin' third, and headed for home ...
Anyone can understand the way I feel.

Oh, put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play today;
Don't say "it ain't so", you know the time is now.

Yeah! I got it, I got it!


~ John Forgerty ~ Put Me In Coach ~
***


Over the years, we probably can count the number of counsellors, psychiatrists and coaches we have encountered only to find ourselves where we started.  Little to no results.  Disappointment and having to start over again.  And of course you think it is your fault.  You didn’t have the determination, strength, stamina, personal fortitude ... but what if there is more to it?

... the essence of helping others is 
to influence them to pursue their best interest ...


Usually it is word of mouth.  You look for help, you ask a friend and you get a reference, therefore they must be the expert ... beware ... a true indication of their nature is if their thoughts, behaviour and actions are in alignment.  Do they truly practice what they preach?  

From personal experience, lip service and personal friendships can cloud judgement so do your research and be comfortable with who you choose.  They may have good intentions, but they may not be right for YOU ...



You cannot transmit wisdom and insight to another person. The seed is already there. A good teacher touches the seed, allowing it to wake up, to sprout, and to grow 
ॐThich Nhat Hanh