" With or Without You ... "

Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you ...

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away ...

My hands are tied

My body bruised

she's got me with

Nothing to win

Nothing left to lose

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

~ U2 ~ With or Without You ~

***

Yesterday I was blessed to speak with a dear friend of ours.  Charlie.  Russell and I met Charlie and his wife Mary Alice at the clinic last year.  And although it was brief, we shared a great deal with each other and have remained friends ever since.  It is nice knowing I can reach out to others, whom are on the Gerson Therapy, when I really need to.  Yesterday, I was one of those days.

Our conversation was full of many topics and one of them was about fear.  I shared with Charlie the emotional roller coaster I have been experiencing for the past few months.  Mainly triggered by physical healing reactions.  We both agreed that fear has only one purpose ... to debilitate you.  As I continue to share, Charlie keenly listened and then asked me a very direct question ... “what are you afraid of?”.  I really had to think about it.  What AM I afraid of?  I proceeded to answer in a round about way but finally quietly answered ... I am afraid to die.  You see, not many people talk openly about death.  And why would they ... are we not told if we focus on something it will happen?  But the reality is that if we face our fears, maybe we can work through them.  It is not as if I am inviting the concept ... I just plainly stated my fear around it.

Later in the day, I told Russell about my conversation ... and my fear.  Through heavy tears, I told him I feared getting worse not better, I feared becoming completely physically dependent, I feared the disappointment, suffering and pain I would cause him and my family if things didn’t work out.

Calmly, Russell talked to me about my spiritual beliefs around reincarnation ... he reminded me about my strong faith, and how it has carried me through this part of my journey.  Then he asked me to stop worrying about everyone else.  He asked me to focus on what I could do, in this life, for me.  He asked me to continue to share my gifts, my best.  He asked me to continue to live this life with him and enjoy what we have been blessed with.  He gave me perspective.  Perspective I needed.

Sometimes you need a bit more help than affirmations and meditations.  When you just need the allowance to admit your feelings, instead of ignoring them.  You cannot heal what you won’t confront.  I believe earthly angels come into our lives with a purpose ... perhaps to love and guide us when we lose our way, reminding us of the goodness we posses.  

The load feels a bit lighter today, thanks to Charlie and Russell.   

"Definite Choice ..."

"Take your pick and make a stand,

With no regrets or change of plan,
Keep your head, don't be afraid,
Be proud of the choice you've made.
Support your scene, you must believe,
Never stop just move ahead
Oh Oh Oh! Definite Choice!"

~ 7 Seconds ~ Definite Choice ~

***

I never blogged about Steve Jobs.  When he passed on, I was sad, really sad.  Sad for his family, sad for his friends and for the rest of us, sad for society because a true tech iCon had left us.  Immediately after his death, there was a great deal of talk about how he died of cancer.  Yes, of course, whenever anyone dies of cancer now, and it is in the media, it triggers a lot of emotions for me.  Probably for others to -  whether they have lost someone to this dis-ease, their loved ones are battling it at the moment, or they themselves are.  So, for me, there were tears, and a lot of them.  Odd you don't know someone but this type of reaction can occur.  I guess you just identify.  You see photos of the loved ones and their grief.  You visualize yourself in that situation.  The pain you can cause, it feels real and it can be so overwhelming.  

Soon after, I read an article written by the Natural News group, and their perspective on his death.  Yep you guessed it, that conventional therapy is what caused his death and not the cancer itself.  So I merrily sent this to family and a few friends.  I guess if I am honest, to prove a point.  To show that see! see! the treatment plan is what did him in ... not the cancer.  Aha! ..... but then .... no one responded ... maybe because they didn't read it, didn't agree or just didn't bother.  Regardless, we thought it was interesting.  And it felt good to have something else confirming to hold on to.  Mental note to self, maybe only share when others welcome it, instead of bombarding them with controversial stuff ... point taken.

So that brings me to what has happened over the last couple of days.  I have been blogging about other happenings, but looming articles on Mr. Job's death have been playing on my mind.  And finally I had to blog.  Surprise surprise?! .... 

Now I know with his fame, absolutely everything is going to be analyzed, dissected and re-phrased.  But the latest round of articles on "his fight with cancer" has been ... well interesting?  Probably for anyone that is battling cancer the "alternative way", it strikes a chord.  You see, biographer Walter Issacson"outlines Mr. Job's struggle with pancreatic cancer ... offers new insight and details."  Basically stating that when he was diagnosed, he refused conventional treatment and instead tried "exotic" treatments involving diet, juicing and detox.  Hmmmm sounds vaguely familiar?  But does it?? ... I have been trying to find out exactly what "exotic" treatment he followed.  And I will tell you, Gerson is far from exotic.  It is routine, boring, restrictive and difficult.  Just ask Russ, exotic is not the verb we would use.   So, did Steve Job's follow Gerson?  Did he ingest 13 juices a day?  Did he do 5 coffee enemas a day?  Did he take over 80 supplements (not herbs!) a day?  Did he stay on the therapy for a minimum of 18 months as directed?  I am still searching for confirmation on this ...

Also, Mr. Issacson writes about how Steve Job's upset his family because he refused surgery and chemotherapy, that he was a bit of a hippie, contacted "spiritualist" instead and was foolish to not follow the treatment plan provided because if and only if he did, he would be alive today.   Wow, that is amazing eh?  I really wish I had his conventional medical team on my side that could give me a DEFINITE answer telling me that I would be cured and live a long healthy life IF I follow the treatment plan they have presented.  

You see not one doctor I have consulted with ~ conventional, gerson, holistic, traditional chinese, homeopath or ayurvedic has told me for sure, definitely, without any doubt, that the treatment I follow will work.  Why ... because they can't ... ethically and otherwise.  No one knows.  No one knows if Steve Job's truly followed initially conventional treatments that he would be alive today.  They can, did and are speculating at best.  We do what we can with what we know.  I don't think any one would purposely risk their life ~ we all want to live.  And with the abundance of wealth this man had, he did put all his money into saving his life.  But was it too late when he "finally" did what "they" told him would work.  I don't know.  No one does.  

At the end of it all, they world lost a great man who made a difference.  

A visionary.  He lived a life worth remembering.

Rest in Peace Steve Jobs.  

iRespect.