" The Hurry and The Harm ... "

“ But why are we so worried more about the hurry 

and less about the harm?

Always trying to conquer that which does not offer 

anything more than a broken heart.

Oh what a cost for love ...

Only want oh simple things, 

mourning the loss and what could have been.

When did I let go to all that I use to know 

this grave mistake has left an absence of hope.

I'm going back to the start “

~ City And Colour ~ The Hurry And The Harm ~

***

We all have it in us to behave in the ways we judge others.  That is why we judge, because we are judging a part of us.  A dark part of us that we keep hidden.  That no one sees.  But it is still there.  Lurking.  Waiting.  Wondering what will be the trigger. 

Recently, we watched a great movie, The Dhamma Brothers, in our weekly meditation crew.  Highly recommended, we had an opportunity to see transformations occur within people who had been written off by society.  Truly a powerful movie.

And it made me think ... is someone bad or did they behave badly?  Do we shame people in our lives, for what they did, by labelling them rather than the act?  There are always consequences to our actions as the actions themselves carry power.  What we do and say has this power, meaning and purpose.  

And sometimes ... we just make 

really. poor. choices.

But as it is being explained to me ... to harm another individual, you have to experience harm personally.  That is how you know the difference.  A terrorist has been terrorized.  A rapist has been violated.  It is learned, taught, shown, explained ... it is EXPERIENCED first ... that is if you believe this way.  Some don’t so whatever floats your boat.

Yet, we are judged very quickly on what we do wrong, rather than all the things we do right.  And many don’t want to believe or accept that someone can change.  I have heard many times ... “A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots” ... but isn't that because he was born with them on his skin?  Rather, we can change our behaviour ... how we respond, act and do.

We learn that nothing out “there” will make us happy ... chasing after something that doesn't last.  All is temporary.  All is impermanent.  And this can provide a sense of chaos or relief in your life ... depending on where you are in your journey.  

The bad news is, all things are temporary

The good news is, all things are temporary

Perspective is what will give you a chance to consider another possibility.  Another way because maybe your road can be less bumpy.  And really that is where I am at.  When cancer lives with you, there is a shit of stuff that comes to the surface.  And you have sift through, process and let it go.  In the beginning, you are venturing into unknown territory.  But when the fear of the unknown turns into curiosity for what is, the dark parts don’t seem as ... dark.  When the time is as it should be, a crack appears, which allows the light to shine out.  The light that was and always is within all of us.

If you took a selfie of your soul, 

you’d see how beautiful you really are ...

We forget to practice the most important practice ... loving kindness towards ourselves.  It is time to believe in yourself.  It is time to listen within.  

BE in stillness ... the answers are all there.

www.walkstrong.ca

" So Small … "

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small

~ Carrie Underwood ~ So Small ~
***

Ever think about the first time you ever felt small?  You know an activity where you weren’t included, or bullied, or a time when something was said to you that ingrained itself into your moral fiber.  But what if what was said was just words and meant nothing?  What you were the one responsible for how you feel?  What if you are the one that gave them your consent?

We all know people who feel included by knowing rumours, empowered by knowing more information, and feel big by making someone else feel or look small in front of others.  

We all know people who don’t have a genuine belief in others, assume people can’t instead of can, assume people won’t rather than will, and see problems instead of potential.

And just think about the self talk.  What are we constantly telling ourselves?  What tapes keep running?  What movies are on replay?  Evaluating our self talk may be a start to not allowing ourselves to treat ourselves smaller.  As with all insecurities, thought patterns and habits take a lot of work, practice, and self-forgiveness to teach yourself to genuinely see your own awesomeness. For some of us it will be our life’s work.

Personally this is a struggle.  I have to work very hard not to give into every opportunity to criticize myself.  I am trying to give myself space before reacting, and see whether I can resolve it alone before asking for reassurance.  A very different approach but looking for better results.  I remind myself that I am loved, I am worthy and that I have my own strengths and own beauty ... and that everything gets easier with practice, even resisting the urge to make myself feel smaller.