" Dear No One … "

I like being independent

Not so much of an investment

No one to tell me what to do

I like being by myself

Don’t gotta entertain anybody else

No one to answer to

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold

Someone to give me their jacket when its cold

Got that young love even when we’re old

Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand

You’ll be here, but for now

Dear no one, this is your love song

~ Tori Kelly ~ Dear No One ~

***

February 4, 2014 ... World Cancer Day ... a day to raise awareness of cancer and to encourage its prevention, detection and treatment ... a day to “support” cancer patients worldwide.  In honour of this “day”, I decided to write an open letter for those who are newly diagnosed or living with this condition.  

Dear Friend,

Although we have never met, I wanted to share with you my thoughts in hopes to help you in your brave journey.  You may not be feeling to brave at the moment.  And that is okay.  You may have no clue what to do next.  And that is more than okay.  First, take this moment and just breathe because you are OKAY.

From my experience, 

... do your research.  Understand your condition and treatment options available.  And remember, just because they don’t have any other options, doesn’t mean sh*t.

... surround yourself with supportive, loving and compassionate practitioners whom respect your choice of treatment.

… unconditional love from my husband and family carries me through my journey.  I am grateful every day for them as I would not be here today.

... close friends may distance themselves and distant friends will become closer.  It’s all in how you handle it, let them help you when you need it.  Recognize your anger and resentment may be about your condition and not about about a person.

... people will say odd things to you because they don’t know how to deal with it.  Decide how important it is for you to discuss it with them or to just let it go.  

... others will just “check in” to see how you are and possibly if you still have a pulse.  Don’t take it personally, it is what it is.  Know who you can trust, know who you can share with, know who you can kindly decline.

... decide if your diagnosis is punishment or a blessing.  It took a lot of work, time, sweat and tears before I could see the gift.  Keep searching, however dire the situation, you will find it.

... change how you speak to yourself about your condition.  your body has cancer, not you, not your soul.  you created it, you can release it ... it is not a battle as it is a part of you which requires the same compassion and kindness as all of you.

... don’t believe the prognosis.  No one has a crystal ball, no one knows the future, no one knows for sure.  You have the power to within you to live or die, you.

… faith, spirituality and meditation have provided so much depth, perspective and clarity in my life.  Take this opportunity to nurture your soul and activate your inner healing.  

... there is more urgency in this moment so make a decision to live your life NOW.  Don’t wait.  Don’t procrastinate.  Ask yourself what are you waiting for? whats holding you back?

... now you have been put into a category, label or group.  there is a stigma and people now view you as a “cancer patient”, but you get to decide where you put your focus.  Focus on thriving, not just surviving. 

And, never let anyone tell you it is too late because I believe it is only too late when you decide to give up.  Now, ask yourself, do you believe this is your wake up call or your death sentence?

Sincerely,

your new friend

" The Voice Within ... "

When you're safe inside your room, you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means ...

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you look outside, look inside to your soul

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

If you will learn to begin to trust the voice within

~ Christina Aguilera ~ The Voice Within ~

***

We had the amazing opportunity to experience ... 
“An Evening with Oprah”.

The most influential woman in the world.  
Truly an EPIC night.  

Oprah asked us why we were there, as she said, the ultimate question.  She has been called and was there to remind us we’ve all been called too.  Inspiring, motivating and enchanting, Oprah relied on her faith in God to encourage us to hear our calling and step closer to fulfilling our purpose. 

As she shared with us her life story, she emphasized the common thread that has taken her from Mississippi to Nashville to Chicago to eventually to us in Calgary.  Her guide is her inner GPS, that little voice.  “That little voice, where we are all equal .. the voice speaks to us equally”.

She reminded us of the whispers ... "I say the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. And a whisper in your life usually feels like ‘hmm, that’s odd.’ Or, ‘hmm, that doesn’t make any sense.’ Or, ‘hmm, is that right?’ It’s that subtle. And if you don’t pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. I say it’s like getting thumped upside the head. If you don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that-the brick wall falls down. That is the pattern that I see in my life and so many other people’s lives. And so, I ask people, ‘What are the whispers? What’s whispering to you now?"

This really resonated with me.  Reflecting on what is really going on in my world, I can’t help but see instances and situations that appear to be a “sign”.  Hindsight ~ you realize there were clues that led you here, today.  And most often these communications are our intuition ... gut instinct.

Oprah talked a great deal on intuitive communication and how it plays a significant role in guiding us through our lives.   Yet, how clearly it communicates and how clearly you understand the message depends on whether you tune in regularly and whether you trust the message.

Intuition ... during those quiet moments, ideas and directions popping into my thoughts, strong emotions and feelings alerting me towards a better path ...

There are times we feel that we know better, with rational thoughts and intellectual strategies, to work life out.  And for some this is all you need ... but I am learning that planning a life without consulting my intuition can results in a plan that doesn’t “fit” who I am.  And as Oprah asked ... “Who are you?” ... not the roles you play, but “Do you know who you really are?”

Life is always communicating with us through our internal intuition and through external physical signs and symbols.  So why then is it a whisper?  Because we rarely trust what we see, hear and feel.  We live in a world dominated by rational thought.  

Check your belief systems ...

We should work on developing and listening to our intuition and the energy of the universe.  Trusting this guidance and acting on it.  As we listen to this voice, the insights it articulates will likely become clearer even when worldly distractions threaten to drown it.

Oprah talked about seeking the wisdom that lies within through quiet reflection.  She accesses that quiet inner voice often which guides her forward in a mindful manner.  She is an example of how this has provided her a “glorious” life, a life she has chosen to share with us through service, a paradigm shift, where the magic happens.

So realize that there is more to us and our intellect and that we have all the guidance we need.  There are parts of us and our universe that we cannot see, know or yet understand.  Yet if we practice tuning in, following the guidance we can witness the mini miracles in our lives.  So ask yourself, what are you whispers and what's whispering to you now ...

❤ Thank-you Oprah for your radiant energy, guiding light 

... and spreading so so much LOVE ❤

" Your Approval ... "

I wouldn't have compromised so much

so much of myself for fear of

having you hating me ...

I became self-conscious

of anything exuberant

I wouldn't have sold myself short

I wouldn't have kept my eyes

glued to the ground

if I had've known my invisibility

would not make a difference

I would've run around screaming proudly

at the top of my voice

I wouldn't have feigned needlessness

I would not have discredited

every one of their compliments

it was your approval I wanted

your congratulations

~ Alanis Morissette ~ Your Approval ~

***

We spend a great deal of time seeking approval ... from our parents, spouses, children, co-workers and even neighbours.  The approval seeking business, which takes a whole lot of effort and may not give you the approval you want.

Seeking approval of others and listening to the opinions that don’t resonate with you is detrimental to your happiness.  Why?  because when we ignore our own intuition and instead choose to act on the advice of other people, we never find our true calling.

Simple in theory yet difficult to practice ... I have struggled with this for my whole life yet I know I am in good company and not alone in this battle.

Hmmm ... where does it all begin?  Well, we are taught to seek approval.  And it really starts from childhood.  If we behave well, our parents are happy with us.  If we do what the teacher tells us to, we get good grades.  If we work hard, our boss is happy with us.  Everything seems to be based on the obedience model.

So when there is no defined model to follow, we start seeking approval to “check in” and see if we “measure up”.  We ask ourselves if we are we doing okay?  if we are we on track?  if we fit in?  if we are accepted? ... 

Yet are we not really asking if we are good enough?

Approval is the acceptance as satisfactory.  The act of giving validity as we seek approval to satisfy OUR desire to be loved.  We crave the feeling of appreciation in hopes to tell ourselves “I did something and they are pleased”.

Yet what I have realized is that acknowledgement is different from approval.  Where seeking approval can paralyze your life because you become dependent on others to tell you whether you are doing the right thing at the right time, acknowledgement does not change who you are nor your spirit.

Asking yourself the following questions can put things into perspective:

• Do I know what I know now because someone gave me the knowledge or his approval?
• Why would I seek another’s approval when he/she is on a path of life that may not be the same as my own?

I have noticed that the more unique you are, the more disapproval you will you receive.  And even if people wish you the best, they don’t know you to the degree that they would be able to advise you of which direction to take.  Blindly following others will never make you happy. 

The soul never seeks approval, only man

Remember the people who criticize you are probably the most inhibited, sad souls that fear to express themselves.  Hence, if you do what feels right to you, you will reveal YOUR true expression.  

Trust your inner guidance

By releasing yourself from the approval-seeking mode, you hold no one but your authentic self responsible. So instead of relinquishing personal responsibility to others, own your life.