" Dealing ... "

“ ... Where do we go from here

What do i do with these feelings

longing to have you near

knowing we shouldn't be dealing ... 

Why must the bad things always feel so good

Why can't i just stay away

Thought our situation was understood, 

still does not mean its okay

Knowing we shouldn't be dealing ... 

I'll wake up in the morning and it will not be the same

Everything's is different we just play this simple game ... “

~ Eric Roberson ~ Dealing ~

***

Dealing with cancer is like pandora’s box.  Full of surprises.  I use to believe that my body betrayed me and just gave up.  

I bought into the idea that I would grow up, get an education, get a good job, get married, have kids and all would be well ... exactly as planned.  But when the bubble burst, all that was left was guilt ... that if I had just been a better daughter, sister, wife, friend, employee ... that I would not have got cancer-ed.  I didn’t understand why others habitual behaviours didn’t lead to an illness.  I had enormous guilt within me and societal influences supported my delusional mind. 

The truth is that within, I had no idea what cancer was and how I could get it.  I was in complete denial of what life was presenting.  I refused to accept the gravity of the situation and I didn’t know how to cope.  

Fast forward to those moments of anxiety, panic and stress when your body cannot do the things it use to prior to diagnosis ... acceptance.  The lesson I keep learning is it is not about how it should be, it is about how it feels ... gut feels.  And applying that in all aspects of this health crisis.  

So I am learning to gift myself the ability to rest my mind, when I choose, to observe my thoughts without judgement by focusing on one conscious breathe ... meditation.  I am learning to take my power back, learning to find joy in this journey and to shine this light within until my last conscious breathe.

And for the days that it seems so very hard to deal ... those days I tell myself ... it’s okay, you’ve done what you could, ease up and meet yourself at a softer place, let yourself rest, taking what you need, releasing what you don’t, you are safe, you are loved, you are protected ... while taking that one conscious breathe.

www.walkstrong.ca

" The Voice Within ... "

When you're safe inside your room, you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means ...

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you look outside, look inside to your soul

When there's no one else, look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way

If you will learn to begin to trust the voice within

~ Christina Aguilera ~ The Voice Within ~

***

We had the amazing opportunity to experience ... 
“An Evening with Oprah”.

The most influential woman in the world.  
Truly an EPIC night.  

Oprah asked us why we were there, as she said, the ultimate question.  She has been called and was there to remind us we’ve all been called too.  Inspiring, motivating and enchanting, Oprah relied on her faith in God to encourage us to hear our calling and step closer to fulfilling our purpose. 

As she shared with us her life story, she emphasized the common thread that has taken her from Mississippi to Nashville to Chicago to eventually to us in Calgary.  Her guide is her inner GPS, that little voice.  “That little voice, where we are all equal .. the voice speaks to us equally”.

She reminded us of the whispers ... "I say the universe speaks to us, always, first in whispers. And a whisper in your life usually feels like ‘hmm, that’s odd.’ Or, ‘hmm, that doesn’t make any sense.’ Or, ‘hmm, is that right?’ It’s that subtle. And if you don’t pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder. I say it’s like getting thumped upside the head. If you don’t pay attention to that, it’s like getting a brick upside your head. You don’t pay attention to that-the brick wall falls down. That is the pattern that I see in my life and so many other people’s lives. And so, I ask people, ‘What are the whispers? What’s whispering to you now?"

This really resonated with me.  Reflecting on what is really going on in my world, I can’t help but see instances and situations that appear to be a “sign”.  Hindsight ~ you realize there were clues that led you here, today.  And most often these communications are our intuition ... gut instinct.

Oprah talked a great deal on intuitive communication and how it plays a significant role in guiding us through our lives.   Yet, how clearly it communicates and how clearly you understand the message depends on whether you tune in regularly and whether you trust the message.

Intuition ... during those quiet moments, ideas and directions popping into my thoughts, strong emotions and feelings alerting me towards a better path ...

There are times we feel that we know better, with rational thoughts and intellectual strategies, to work life out.  And for some this is all you need ... but I am learning that planning a life without consulting my intuition can results in a plan that doesn’t “fit” who I am.  And as Oprah asked ... “Who are you?” ... not the roles you play, but “Do you know who you really are?”

Life is always communicating with us through our internal intuition and through external physical signs and symbols.  So why then is it a whisper?  Because we rarely trust what we see, hear and feel.  We live in a world dominated by rational thought.  

Check your belief systems ...

We should work on developing and listening to our intuition and the energy of the universe.  Trusting this guidance and acting on it.  As we listen to this voice, the insights it articulates will likely become clearer even when worldly distractions threaten to drown it.

Oprah talked about seeking the wisdom that lies within through quiet reflection.  She accesses that quiet inner voice often which guides her forward in a mindful manner.  She is an example of how this has provided her a “glorious” life, a life she has chosen to share with us through service, a paradigm shift, where the magic happens.

So realize that there is more to us and our intellect and that we have all the guidance we need.  There are parts of us and our universe that we cannot see, know or yet understand.  Yet if we practice tuning in, following the guidance we can witness the mini miracles in our lives.  So ask yourself, what are you whispers and what's whispering to you now ...

❤ Thank-you Oprah for your radiant energy, guiding light 

... and spreading so so much LOVE ❤

" Instinct ... "

Do you recognize the nervous twitch
That exposes the weakness of the myth
When your turn comes 'round
And the light goes on ...

And you feel your attraction again
Your instinct can't be wrong
Separate the fiction from the fact
Been a little slow to react ...

But it's nearly time to flip the switch
And I'm hanging by a single stitch
Laughing at the stony face of gloom
When your turn comes 'round ...

Where the true present lies are
Calling down
Laughing at the stony face of gloom
When your turn comes 'round ...

~ Crowded House ~ Instinct ~

***

How many times have you been caught up in a head spin of trying to make a decision or difficult choice?  And did anyone ask you what your “gut” was telling you?  Did you follow it?  Or was it so tough for you to figure out the right decision that you never made the decision at all?

I know for me, it is hard sometimes to “trust my gut” even though gut feelings represent my instinct, my intuition ... and isn’t this the key to overcoming a stalled decision-making process?

Intuition is an inner knowing

I know that intuition exists without a doubt and regardless of your viewpoint, head or heart, there is some mechanism that produces feelings within us to help guide us in making choices.  This I get ... yet it seems easier to get caught up in weighing any infinite number of options, resulting in the inability to make a decision ... also known as “analysis paralysis”.

“Analysis Paralysis is the result of trying to make important decisions solely based on your logical mind”.  Thankfully our logical mind is great for sorting out the facts .  Yet the problem is understanding the implications of our decision is more than our logical mind can handle.  Decisions brings pros and cons.  We usually weigh them out and sometimes seek counsel.  Then our logical mind ties itself up in knots trying to sort out which pros are the best and which cons are the worst!  

Arghhhhhhhh ... so where does this leave us?  Since feelings isn’t really the logical minds “speciality”, making decisions with the whole self is the key.  The more we are in contact with our “inner feeling self”, the more we will be in touch with it.  Intuition or instinct is a way of knowing without being given verbal information.  It is a knowing that comes from feeling.  It is the intelligence behind feeling.  And we frequently lose it due to the lack of use and the over use of rationality.

We start to learn whether it is our intuition speaking to us or simply anxiety.  It is obviously intuition when it is a feeling.  Feelings are felt in our entire body, they are genuine, real and trustworthy.  Emotions are reactions to what is happening and carry around a sack of memories from past situations where we have been unable to effectively express our self.  

So identify if you have cleared outstanding issues, and that what you are dealing with is the present one.  Make sure you use your logical mind to gather the facts while checking in with your gut.  

Head or Heart ... Ego or Gut

And even I may not be further ahead in making some decisions, I do know that "I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I failed to do" ...