" How Long … "

I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up and brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
I gotta take it on the other side...

Century's are what it meant to me
A cemetery where i marry the sea
A stranger thing that never changed my mind
I gotta take it on the other side
I gotta take it on take it on...

How long, how long will I slide
Separate my side ...

~ Red Hot Chili Peppers ~ How Long ~

***

From a place of honestly, ask yourself how long you hold on to grudges?  Rather than speak of how it is important to let go, move on and release ... maybe we need to understand how love, forgiveness and holding grudges support each other.

Most grudges stress us out, wreak havoc on our bodies, inhibit release of anger and taxes our immune system ... 

So how can a grudge work for you?  Well, this depends on the type of grudge.  You see some people will hold a bitter grudge against anyone who looks at them funny.  A full plate armour response to a playful slap.  But the problem is that you may use up all your negative energy before you have a real battle to endure.  So if you are in a constant rage, then there may be other underlying issues you may want to consider.  Otherwise, if you mood dips once in a while when it comes to that certain someone, than maybe holding a grudge is a good thing.

So can a grudge be good?  Yes ... because it is an acknowledgement of another person’s behaviour which keeps you at a safe emotional distance from people who mess with your head.  

And can a grudge be bad?  Yes ... because it can be used as a crutch, excuse or reason to hold on, to express anger, resentment, and blame someone else.

If you are not here, where are you ... grudge-holding is a relic from our caveman days, when people relied on each other for survival and remembering who slighted whom was crucial for success.  

Looking for resolution ... the key is to figure out what’s making you dwell on the issue in the first place and recognizing its negative effects.  Because in whatever form forgiveness comes, remember that it’s not the same as forgetting, which is something that might never happen. The memory can last, but if you’ve truly forgiven someone, its ties to residual anger should be severed leaving no room for grudges ...