" Bother … "

Never had a voice to protest

So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason;

my flaws are open season

For this, I gave up trying

You don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on,

I'll never live down my deceit

~ Stone Sour ~ Bother ~

***

Never fails ... there is always that certain someone you’ll find who is just uber irritating in your world.  And as much as you try to filter them out of your life, another one just pops right up.  Rather than asking why does this “always”, realize there is a reason they keep showing up in your world ...

It is inevitable, we’ve all been bothered or are the one that is bothering in.  Let’s face it, people can be irritating, annoying and bothersome at best.  They can be rude, obnoxious and mean at worst.  And sometimes you can’t simply walk away.  It’s not always a matter of associating with different people, it is just circumstances.  So what do you do?  

Personally ... stop spiraling.  When someone is really getting under my skin, I’ve had the tendency to think excessively about why that person is doing so.  I would spiral and spiral.  I would think of all the ways they are a pain in my a** and I’d wait for them to do the next annoying thing that would throw me over the edge when they finally did so ... allowing me to say “I knew that would happen” ... yes, a self-full filling prophecy.  

Personally ... stop creating stories in your head.  These are the ideas that are so harmful because you start to imagine as to why someone is doing something to you.  Golden rule, when you assume you make an a** of you and me.

Personally ... this ones a big one for me ... start thinking about how you’re seeing yourself in that person.  We are most bothered by the things in others that we recognize in ourselves ... what we are most attuned to (OUCH!).

Every time I find myself challenged by behaviours 

I have to remind myself of the above.  Yes, today is one of those days.  

I have to remind myself to have room for grace for others, have allowance for growth, and patience with understanding and empathy.  I have to remind myself that others will walk at their pace as I do mine.  And I have to remind myself that it is always “10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it”.