" The Prayer … "

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer when we lose our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

Let this be our prayer ...
Just like every child ...
Give us faith so we'll be safe ...

~ Celine Dion ~ The Prayer ~

***

Ever wonder why we need to pray at all?  I mean if God already knows what we need and is in charge then what is the point?

Well, if you consider that prayers are “divinely appointed”, then we can believe that God tells us about it in His Words.  Perhaps in simpler terms, prayers can be defined as talking to God and are a means, not an end in itself ... which carries His design accomplishes His purpose.

“Faith infuses prayer with great expectancy and is a gift by which the Holy Spirit grants us spiritual sense and sensibilities. It is the opposite of wishful thinking, apprehending unseen realities ... “

We pray because we long for connection … we regain perspective in our relationship with the Divine and of our place of humility.

We pray because we want to align with God’s will ... we have the ability to lift our challenges to Him, surrender, and trust the process.

We pray because we can ... God expects to hear from us and he hears all requests.

We pray because we feel more centered ... a sense of grounded-ness and serenity results.

Personally,  I think of prayer as a conscious relationship or friendship with God.  And similar to great conversations I have had with close friends, I have had some good ones with Him.  Instead of making deals or asking for conditional wishes to be granted, I believe with my heart to let go and let God ... and praise Him for his kindness and mercy.

Hence, perhaps we pray at our deepest level because we are drawn by the bonds of love and our deepest reality ... aligning with Him and help experience a deeper well-being ॐ

" Newborn ... "

Newborn ...

I've got someone seeing grace in me

Someone respecting me

I've got someone who's there for me

Someone saying prayers for me

For all the right reasons

~ Depeche Mode ~ Newborn ~

***

This weekend, I had an opportunity to celebrate the upcoming birth of a newborn.  My girlfriend Jasmeen and her husband are expecting their first baby this spring.  So exciting ... bringing so much joy in their lives and for those of us touched by them.  Thanks to my gorgeous girl, Rupi who hosted a wonderful afternoon, we showered Jasmeen with happiness and love ... keeping her body, mind and spirit in a blissful state.  Precious ♥

In the spirit of babies, recently I read that the expectant mother needs to sacrifice many things during her pregnancy, as she is being a given a gift of a lifetime, her precious newborn.  I read she should hear melodious songs, read revered books or beautiful literature, wear comfortable clothing, adorn herself with fragrant flowers and always be in a happy and serene atmosphere.  This increases her chances of giving birth to children who have better cognition, spatial and depth perception.  As well as avoiding packaged foods, restrict animal products and alcohol ensures a healthy baby.  And lowering stress and anxiety is crucial as this can lead to subtle changes in an unborn child’s development ... high signs of stress such as high blood pressure increase heart rates of their babies.

All this literature made me think ... why does this have to apply to only expectant mothers?  Just think ... apply the above to yourself as often as possible ... *sigh ... pure bliss!  We are just as important as our newborns.  We too are a gift and it is never to late to treat ourselves with a mother’s kindness and love ... loving kindness, the feeling of love, warmth and caring as the object.  You see, a mother’s love is unconditional - there are truly no strings attached.  So why do we attach strings?  Why do we beat ourselves up, tell ourselves it is too late or we are not good enough?

When we truly take care of ourselves and our bodies at all times, not just times when we are “suppose to”, we will have the same effect on ourselves as we would on a newborn ... for example, you wouldn’t feed your baby junk food, so why do you feed this to yourself?

So start off by imagining yourself as a kid ... wouldn’t you want the best for that kid?  Imagine showering that child with comfort, security, safety.  Continue to positively nourish that child's internal and external environment.  Now use that image as a way to cultivate a sincere wish for happiness for yourself ... a wish held within every one of your cells ....a wish to be truly happy ... a wish to embrace yourself with feelings of peace, bliss and joy ... unconditionally.  Precious ♥

" Shine ... "

"Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to look
Tell me will love be there
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there
Oh, heaven let your light shine down"

~ Collective Soul ~ Shine ~

***

This is a very exciting time of year, a celebration of a new year.  It is Diwali.  For my entire life, we have always celebrated Diwali.  A time we spend with family and friends, to embrace, wish well and rejoice.  A time we eat and be merry.  A time we pray.  A time we love.  A time we Shine.

So what is Diwali?  Diwali also known as Deepvali, is the "Festival of Lights".  Diwali originates from Sanskrit, translating into "row of lamps", as small clay lamps are filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil within Indian mythology.  It is believed to be the time of transition from darkness unto light - the light that empowers us to commit ourselves to good deeds and bring us closer to divinity.


"The most popular legend of Diwali is that of Lord Rama, from the epic Ramayana.  In the legend, Prince Rama and his wife Sita are banished from their home in Ayodhya by their father, the king.  Rama, Sita and Rama’s brother, Lakshmana, go to live in a forest.  After many years, Sita is kidnapped by Ravana, a ten-headed demon.  He takes Sita to the island of Lanka.  With the help of Hanuman, the monkey warrior, Rama rescues his wife.  The people of Ayodhya light diyas in rows to guide Rama and Sita back from the forest to Ayodhya.  On their return, Rama is crowned king.  Diwali celebrates the return of Rama and Sita."

And while the story behind Deepavali and the manner of celebration varies from region to region, the essence is the same ~ to rejoice in the Inner Light or the underlying reality of all things.  So once again this year, our family will hold prayers in our home.  We will illuminate our homes as an expression of obeisance to the heavenly for the attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace and fame.  We will honour Lord Ganesh, the elephant-headed God and symbol of auspiciousness and wisdom.  We will honour Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and good fortune.

For us, Diwali illuminates our heart to find reason and hope, acknowledging our awareness is beyond the physical body as our mind is infinite.  For us, Diwali lights will disperse all ignorance that masks man true nature.  We hope for change to lead to pure reality ~ awakening, awareness, compassion, and illumination of oneness of all things amongst celebration and joy.

"Light up the darkness and sparkle up your life this Diwali"

"Point of View ..."

"It's a different point of view to you
You cannot see things that are different to me
And I can't understand why you cannot see
The things that I cannot see"
~ Blink 182 ~ Point of View ~
***


I really don't know where to start on this post ... it has been quite an interesting week so far.  And ahhhh yes I did go and get my ultrasound and blood/urine work done and ahhhh yes I did get the results.
So whats the verdict?  Well here is the scoop ....

So, just finishing up week 26 of the Gerson therapy, narrowing on I guess 6 months, there was some emphasis by my family doctors and other loved ones to get an ultrasound done ... to "really" see if the therapy is working ... Externally, I have been feeling really good, outside of nasty emotional days where I cry uncontrollably, and some pain and aches in the region of the cancer.  So early Monday morning before brekkie and my first coffee enema, I was in to see the Labs.  As per usual, my veins are small and hide so they prick the arms a few times, but I was still outta there and home within 30 minutes.  Then came the ultrasound a couple of hours later.  Oh and yes, side note, I did have a mini-meltdown on Sunday, anticipating the worst and having the fight or flight syndrome kicking in big time!  Like usual, Russell was so supportive and let me go through the motions, letting me know whatever we face, we face together and also letting me know that he was pret-ty sure that I wasn't going to expire on the ultrasound table so all should be okay.

So back to the ultrasound ... if any of you have been thru any sort of ultrasound, you are lying there will gel all over your breasts with this gadget that is run over them by technician.  This time, the technician was very inquisitive as to my history AND what treatment I was currently going thru.  She asked me three times, "so you didn't have surgery?"  ... with a squished up expression ... and I politely told her nope, nope, and nada.  Then she went thru the checklist of the risk factors and if I had any ... ie. family history, etc ... and nope, nope, and nada ... nothing to check off.

So finally the examination, she checked the right side - good news, all is clear and nothing to worry about (whew!).  She checked the lymph nodes on both sides - good news, all is clear and nothing to worry about (whew!) ... then she asked me to show her where the lump was and she started to exam the area.  And she kept going over and over the area.  Then she said "this is one of the hardest examinations I have done, I cannot tell where the boundaries/borders are to the lump so I am not sure if these measurements are even accurate".  I asked her to explain what she meant and then she started to show me the screen.  Now you have to understand, in ALL the ultrasounds I have had, never does the technician talk to me let alone show me what they see.  They do their job and then they leave the room.  Done.  But this time, my techie was eager to show me what dilemma she was having.  She left the room twice, once to check on the previous ultrasound (pre therapy back in Feb 2011) and another time to talk to the radiologist.  And then she said ... "you know, I am going to tell the doctor that my measurement are inaccurate, this was a difficult examination to do, and if I were you, I wouldn't put a lot of trust in these measurements because every tech is different and has a different point of view".  So there I am, lying there with all that gel on me wondering ... what is the point of all this then?  Are major decisions not BASED on these measurements?  Was not my treatment plan in February ~ partial mastectomy/double mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation BASED on these measurements?  Are you kidding me?? ...

So today in the radiologist final report, he indicated that it was very difficult to provide measurements as due to undefined  boundaries, but he "suspects" that there is a very, slight increase in the one mass that was defined previously.  And right then and there we knew that the Gerson Therapy is working ... how can it not?  How can I go from two measurable discrete, defined masses and multiple lesions 7 months ago to one undefined difficult masses and some lesions hard to measure?  The Gerson doctors warned me that it was too early for an ultrasound.  They said that things could get better before they get worse.  They said that we are agitating the tumor, so wait for the therapy to kick in.  My family doctor was not concerned with this report, nor were we ... because under the above circumstances, you take it for what it is.  


The GOOD NEWS is my complete blood chemistry and urine analysis look great, the cancer continues to be localized, AND in the Gerson world, the inflammation in the region is an indication that the immune system has kicked in and fighting the tumour and lesions, the undefined boundaries indicate that the tumour is breaking down, and the tumour itself is softening up.

So today we thank everyone for the oceans of love, support and prayers we have received.  And we recognize all the baby steps to get to this moment ... getting thru a long, difficult, challenging and at times unbearable therapy.  We continue believing and knowing that my body is showing signs of healing AND we continue to set intentions that the very near future will bring a healthy, balanced and cancer free body.  Just wait and see!!!