"I Was Meant For The Stage ..."

"From the floorboards to the flys,
Here I was fated to reside.
And as I take my final bow,
Was there ever any doubt?
And as the spotlights fade away,
And you're escorted through the foyer,
You will resume your callow ways,
But I was meant for the stage."

~ The Decemberist ~ I Was Meant For The Stage ~

***

Over this past weekend, Russell and I has the opportunity to play at the Jack Singer Concert Hall in Calgary.  Definitely a dream come true.  This facility hosts many great acts, plays and performances year round.  As mentioned in a previous blog post, the east indian community held a cultural event, Diwali, and this year, we were one of many acts playing at the event. 

Differing from our usual band sound, we played with an author and classically trained singer, Mrs. Jayshree Bhatt.  Our item included Russell on bass, myself on keyboard, Harjitbhai on tablas, Vineet on sitar and a choir of 12.  Mrs. Bhatt chose 4 religious ragas to celebrate Diwali.  With the purity of her voice, the trance-like tabla sound, the angelic choir and our non-ethnic feel on bass and keyboard, we delighted the crowd with four songs.  

In between all this excitement, I had to carry around my juices, meds and potatoes to make sure I was on schedule.  Some spoke quietly to each other as they curiously wondered what "drugs" I was ingesting prior to performing ... I felt like a bit of a druggie, getting "ready" to perform.  And to my surprise, it made me laugh thinking ... hmmm what are they thinking.  As well, I had a few people who "know" about my diagnosis, and I know they know, but they don't know I know they know ... whatever, anyhow these few looked shocked that I was walking, talking and even performing on stage.  In their minds, cancer means weak, frail, and dying ... and in their defence, that is probably their experience with family and friends.  They were greeting me, cautiously, probably not sure what or how the conversation would go.  For me, it was life as usual.  I was more worried about my performance and my indian sari falling off then the impression I was making to the casual few.  At that moment, I really didn't bother with what others thought, and it was liberating.  

My parents said to me a few nights earlier, that they were proud of me, where I was, and what I had become.  What I represented and knew that I was beating this horrid dis-ease with a great deal of class.  I guess I had what I needed to be "seen in public". I had myself, my own sense of who I am.  I wasn't there to impress anyone but ... me.  And I did.  And it was awesome.  Once again, I had Russell on stage, beaming and glowing in the moment.  And every time I looked in his direction, his smiling face made me laugh.  He was meant to be on stage.  His emitted his passion and true love for music and it was contagious.  

Another moment of feeling I was exactly where I was suppose to be in my life ... and loving every musical moment.

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life" ~ B. Auerbach

" Shine ... "

"Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to look
Tell me will love be there
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there
Oh, heaven let your light shine down"

~ Collective Soul ~ Shine ~

***

This is a very exciting time of year, a celebration of a new year.  It is Diwali.  For my entire life, we have always celebrated Diwali.  A time we spend with family and friends, to embrace, wish well and rejoice.  A time we eat and be merry.  A time we pray.  A time we love.  A time we Shine.

So what is Diwali?  Diwali also known as Deepvali, is the "Festival of Lights".  Diwali originates from Sanskrit, translating into "row of lamps", as small clay lamps are filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil within Indian mythology.  It is believed to be the time of transition from darkness unto light - the light that empowers us to commit ourselves to good deeds and bring us closer to divinity.


"The most popular legend of Diwali is that of Lord Rama, from the epic Ramayana.  In the legend, Prince Rama and his wife Sita are banished from their home in Ayodhya by their father, the king.  Rama, Sita and Rama’s brother, Lakshmana, go to live in a forest.  After many years, Sita is kidnapped by Ravana, a ten-headed demon.  He takes Sita to the island of Lanka.  With the help of Hanuman, the monkey warrior, Rama rescues his wife.  The people of Ayodhya light diyas in rows to guide Rama and Sita back from the forest to Ayodhya.  On their return, Rama is crowned king.  Diwali celebrates the return of Rama and Sita."

And while the story behind Deepavali and the manner of celebration varies from region to region, the essence is the same ~ to rejoice in the Inner Light or the underlying reality of all things.  So once again this year, our family will hold prayers in our home.  We will illuminate our homes as an expression of obeisance to the heavenly for the attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace and fame.  We will honour Lord Ganesh, the elephant-headed God and symbol of auspiciousness and wisdom.  We will honour Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and good fortune.

For us, Diwali illuminates our heart to find reason and hope, acknowledging our awareness is beyond the physical body as our mind is infinite.  For us, Diwali lights will disperse all ignorance that masks man true nature.  We hope for change to lead to pure reality ~ awakening, awareness, compassion, and illumination of oneness of all things amongst celebration and joy.

"Light up the darkness and sparkle up your life this Diwali"