" Solitude ... "

" How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me
Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you "

~ Evanescence ~ Solitude ~

***

During the Gerson Therapy, each day is predictable.  13 juices, 80 + supplements, 3-5 coffee enemas and loads and loads of preparation time.  Each day is the same schedule, same programme.  Variations occur after frequent consults, depending on your test results.  And during all this, there is a lot of solitude.  You may be thinking that I was going to say loneliness.  Well, if I'm honest, there is some of that too.  You see, from the outside, solitude and loneliness look a lot alike.  Both are characterized by solitariness.  But there is a difference.

Loneliness comes from isolation and is a negative state.  We usually feel something is missing even when we are surrounded by people ... which is the most bitter form of loneliness.  Isolation from being a part of daily life activities such as absence from work, absence of friendships and not having the ability to attend or participate. 

Whereas, solitude comes from the state of being alone and not being lonely ... leading to self-awareness. It is a positive and constructive state with oneself.  It is a desirable state where you provide yourself the best company, YOU.  So where does the self-awareness part fit in?  Well, solitude allows for a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth & enjoyment of some kind.  An activity such as deep reading requires solitude, or experiencing the beauty of nature.  And, usually forms of creativity such as composing, writing or blogging requires solitude.  

Stemming from a state of inner richness, solitude suggests peacefulness ... it is refreshing ... an opportunity to renew or replenish ourselves.  Stemming from a state of discontent, loneliness is harsh, punishment and deficient.  Marked by a sense of estrangement, loneliness is an awareness of excess aloneness.  Solitude is something you choose.  Loneliness is imposed on you by others.

So you see, periods of solitude are essential, allowing a time to explore and know ourselves, a chance to regain perspective.  Solitude renews us for the challenges of life ... allows us to drive our own lives rather than having them run by demands from others.  So welcome solitude into your life ... it will help restore your body and mind ... it is the nest of your thoughts.

"Not givin' up ..."

"Are you looking for a way out? 
Are you looking for an exit?
It seems like all the fuss you're making
Is a sign that you're not quite sure

... I'm not giving up, no "

~ Natasha Bedingfield ~ Not Givin' Up"

***

After blogging about my birthday, last weekend and confessing, I have had feelings of giving up.  Yeah, I know me, Ms. Sunshine here all positive and peaceful having feelings of just "whats the use?".  There are many factors and events that have triggered these feelings and out of respect and privacy to my friends, I will keep those details to myself.  But what I can tell you, that when you are at a place of giving up, it is very dark.  And very lonely.  But you have to pull yourself up, and even though I have amazing family and friends around me, it is really up to YOU, and only you.  You have to decide if it is worth it ... and yes, thankfully, I have realized it is.  I blog a great deal on the blessings in my life and the opportunities that cancer has given me.  Yet day to day, this is hard, well actually brutally hard.  And I don't think any treatment would be.  Regardless of how you go about it, the fear and uncertainty can be overwhelming.  I see it in others eyes as they just get really quiet when I tell them what I am dealing with and what treatment I am in.  Would I like to be definitive and give a resounding YES this is working and YES I am healing and YES I will be cured ... of course!!  But again, what do we really know?  Just the present and every moment when the fear starts to take over, I tell myself that over and over ... the present is what you truly know so enjoy it.

So the harder you fall the higher bounce right? Let's just say, I bounced real hard lately.  

And during this process I found some reasons why to never, never give up.  My plan now, is to post this up in clear view just in case ;)

"1. As Long As You Are Alive Anything Is Possible
The only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and healthy and free) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally succeed.

2. Be Realistic
The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost non-existent. Everything takes time to learn and you will make mistakes. Learn from them.

3. Lance Armstrong
Lance was diagnosed with serious cancer that had spread throughout his entire body. He had cancer cells the size of golf balls in his lungs. Despite all odds he overcame the cancer and set out to win the Tour de France 6 Consecutive years in a row.

4. You Are Strong 
You are stronger than you think. One little setback is not enough to stop you from achieving your goals. Neither are 10 or 100 or 1000 setbacks.

5. Prove Yourself
You don’t want to be known as someone that is weak and gives up. Go out there and prove yourself to the world and to yourself. You CAN and WILL achieve what you set out to do. The only time you fail is when you give up.

6. Believe In Your Dreams
Don’t sell yourself short. In life there are going to be many people who will try to bring you down and tell you what you want to achieve is not possible. Don’t let anyone destroy your dreams.

7. Your Family and Friends.
Let the people you love and who mean the world to you be your inspiration to persist and persevere. Maybe you need to try a different angle, study more or practice more but don’t give up!

8. Improve Our World
When you achieve whatever you set out to achieve you can use your success to make a difference to the world or other peoples lives.

9. Inspire Others
Be an inspiration to others by refusing to give up. Who knows what someone else can achieve because you never gave up and in turn inspired them not to give up.

10. You Deserve To Be Happy
Don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have success. Keep that mindset and never give up until you reach your destination"