" Nice … "

... A careless smile and it begins to snow 

And it hurts me to think 

That you might never know 

That I've got this thing about you 

In case you don't understand 

There's something else I meant to tell you 

There is nothing better 

Than being with you 

And I'm feeling so nice 

There is nowhere better 

Than here with you 

And it's feeling so nice 

Did I already say 

'Cause you make me forget 

I might as well be brave and tell 'ya 

~ Duran Duran ~ Nice ~

***

Are you a people pleaser?  Do you have a hard time saying no?  Do you then find that rather than feeling good, you feel used?  Could just be that you are just “too nice” .... 

Too nice?? How is that even possible?  How can you be too much of something good?  Yes, I have been through this conflict a number of times in my life.  You see, through our struggles and challenges, we develop a sense of sympathy towards others.  We understand everyone has a story and if we take the time to learn about them, we will enrich our lives that much more.  And we also do something for someone and expecting nothing in return.  This how we continue to nurture our relationships for what they are, not what they can give you.  

When you say yes to others don’t say no to yourself...

The “too nice” nature can land us in trouble because we end up being too good for our own good.  We all know that it is never a good idea to let people walk all over you and take advantage of you.  Just think ... if your whole life is spent doing things for everyone around you, where is the time for yourself?

Emotional Chaos ... exhausted, defeated and discouraged ...

Personally, I don’t believe there are “wrong” people.  I believe there are people who make poor choices.  And those choices can apply to a person that is too nice.  How so?  well, a poor reason to be nice to someone is so that they thank you, accept you and raise your social standing.  And I feel that feeling superior when you help others out misses the purpose entirely.

So how do you stop being “too nice”?  

• You and those in your life realize that you cannot be available for them every single time they need you
• You start being “too nice” to YOU 
• Decide who and what is important in your life & put your energy towards it
• If you have to decline, say it confidently, genuinely and respectfully

Understand that the moment you settle for less in your life, you will get exactly what you asked for ... directly affecting your own well-being in mind, body and spirit.  Learn the difference between being nice and being too nice because in the end, it can be for your own good.  

" Giving … "

Giving me calm to fall into 

Giving me hope to guide me thru 

I want more I want more 

Giving me light to see thru tears 

Giving me strength to crush my fears 

I want more I want more 

Still all I need is love 

So give me more 

Giving me choice so I may seek 

Giving me faith so I'll believe 

I want more I want more 

Giving me breath of your mercy 

Giving yourself to comfort me 

I want more I want more 

Still all I need is love 

So give me more

~ Collective Soul ~ Giving ~ 

***

During the holiday season, many are frantically trying to find that special gift for the special someone.  The season of giving .  So, have you ever given any thought to the type of “giver” you are?

You may not have really thought about it.  You see we are told that Christmas is about giving and receiving.  We give to get something in return .. even if it is a thanks from recognition of having given.  So why then does holiday gift giving make us feel anxious and pressured?  Isn’t it suppose to make us happy?  After all, we are MORE blessed to give than to receive.

This time of year is usually described as time with family, religious activities, traditions, spending money, helping others and giving & receiving gifts.  And these gifts reveal the nature of the connections we have with others ... it exposes the character and the thinking of the giver.  Perhaps Christmas giving makes us anxious because it is an exchange.  Perhaps we dread receiving the bad gifts as much as giving it …

So here is an unofficial list of the type of gift-er you may recognize ...

The Genuine Giver

Someone who actually think about you and what you prefer.

The Status Hound Giver

Someone who shows their money or power by giving a costly gift that has nothing to do with the recipient.

The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Giver

Someone who think they are a wonderful giver but are no more genuine than the Status Hound.  Christmas is about them and will likely send a check or re-gift out of obligation.

The Power Player

Someone who manipulates the symbolic nature of the gift because they understand how gifts can cause pain, consciously or unconsciously.

The Complainer

Someone who talks endlessly about the inconveniences he or she experienced during the holiday season, especially during the acquisition of your gift (another reason there is alcohol at most parties ...).

Regardless of the “type” of giver you may connect with, giving truly is from gratitude that we have more than others.  This year, consider something different.  Volunteer at the soup kitchens, give old clothes to the thrift shops, or donate money to a local charity.  This year consider giving with the message that “you have a special place in my heart” because those are the most wonderful gifts to give and receive