" Bother … "

Never had a voice to protest

So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason;

my flaws are open season

For this, I gave up trying

You don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on,

I'll never live down my deceit

~ Stone Sour ~ Bother ~

***

Never fails ... there is always that certain someone you’ll find who is just uber irritating in your world.  And as much as you try to filter them out of your life, another one just pops right up.  Rather than asking why does this “always”, realize there is a reason they keep showing up in your world ...

It is inevitable, we’ve all been bothered or are the one that is bothering in.  Let’s face it, people can be irritating, annoying and bothersome at best.  They can be rude, obnoxious and mean at worst.  And sometimes you can’t simply walk away.  It’s not always a matter of associating with different people, it is just circumstances.  So what do you do?  

Personally ... stop spiraling.  When someone is really getting under my skin, I’ve had the tendency to think excessively about why that person is doing so.  I would spiral and spiral.  I would think of all the ways they are a pain in my a** and I’d wait for them to do the next annoying thing that would throw me over the edge when they finally did so ... allowing me to say “I knew that would happen” ... yes, a self-full filling prophecy.  

Personally ... stop creating stories in your head.  These are the ideas that are so harmful because you start to imagine as to why someone is doing something to you.  Golden rule, when you assume you make an a** of you and me.

Personally ... this ones a big one for me ... start thinking about how you’re seeing yourself in that person.  We are most bothered by the things in others that we recognize in ourselves ... what we are most attuned to (OUCH!).

Every time I find myself challenged by behaviours 

I have to remind myself of the above.  Yes, today is one of those days.  

I have to remind myself to have room for grace for others, have allowance for growth, and patience with understanding and empathy.  I have to remind myself that others will walk at their pace as I do mine.  And I have to remind myself that it is always “10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it”.  

"Priority … "

Steer the course make a way
And come ashore on a greater day
Home grown from the greatest grain
Full flavor in the native strain

Peace before anything
God before everything
Love before anything
Real before everything

Home before anyplace
Style and state radiate
Love power slay the hate, priority
Love power

~ Mos Def ~ Priority ~

***

Priority ... something that is regarded as more important than another.  Now think of your relationships, are they are priority in your life?  Is there someone that is for you but you not for them, and how do you know?

… in some instances, if we had to know if the other person felt the same degree of compassion and consideration as we do for them, then we would probably never even speak ...

In a perfect world, relationships are suppose to be “equal” and fully committed to the process of developing and growth ... suppose being the key word.  Yet we find ourselves in situations where we are giving our all to someone but not getting the same in return.  And we keep going back for more, and more knowing that relationships are risky. 

So how do you know when you are an option instead of a priority in someone’s life?  Well besides the obvious behaviour, they 

• magically appear when they need something
• call to see how you are but rant about themselves instead
• bail on things that are important to you
• share important life details with others and not you.

And interestingly, some people think this is the “norm”.  They get use to these types of relationships.  They are troubled by the fact that they are involved with someone who treats them like “an option” and yet they still can’t seem to terminate the relationship.

The beauty is, the choice is YOURS.  It is much better to live peacefully than to have those in your life that take you for granted.  Stop making excuses for poor behaviour, don’t accept less than what you deserve, and weed out the ones who only care about their own needs being met because a relationship should complement, not complicate ...

" Wide To Receive … "

Download something 

Useful, or useless 

Because I'm lying here 

Wide to receive 

Almost anything 

You'd care to give ...

Turn on, plug in 

Then just walk away 

Unlock, process 

And then just go 

And I've never felt quite so alone 

As I do right now 

I'm lying here 

Wide to receive 

Almost anything 

You'd care to leave 

Wide, wide, wide 

~ Morrissey ~ Wide To Receive ~ 

***

Quite a few years back, I made a resolution to NOT make a resolution.  Mainly because I had such a hard time keeping them.  I would but my best foot forward, all my efforts, only to get discourage quickly and quit.  Sounds familiar?

And I often wonder why ... why resolutions are hard to keep.  Maybe because we carry around a lot of stress and burdens of life.  Maybe because our goals are unrealistic ... So then maybe it is about becoming more grounded and authentic ... where resolutions are not necessary because you are LIVING your truth. 

 ☯Trust a man’s behaviour, not his words ☯

In 2013, I had to shed a lot of skin to become the person I am today.  Peeling back the layers … physically, spiritually and emotionally ... letting go of the person I thought I should be in order to be the person I really wanted to be ... and ready to receive.

 ☯Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want ☯

In 2014, I am ready to ... become more empowered and strong, continue to pursue what I truly want to do, go past the fear of the unknown, accept me just as I am, follow my heart, believe I am exactly where I need to be, and let go of what no longer serves me.

I am tired of spending so much of my life thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than I.  Within my core, I know that my journey is unfolding perfectly for me.  The new year doesn’t deserve to be cheated on with my past.  

It is time to move on and tell a new story.  

Get ready to receive … 

" False Pretense ... "

All along you know you thought you got the best of me ...

I can't seem to understand it how you turned out to be so cold

You tried but were caught red handed, are you happy with your role? ...

It's sacrifice

False pretense you'll hurt again

Stop pretending to deny

False pretense you'll hurt again ...

So play the game until you run out

And play the game into my hand ...

Don't sweat it - it's set on false pretense ...

~ Red Jumpsuit Apparatus ~ False Pretense ~

***

Today I thought I would address something that affects us all.  I thought I would address knowing the difference from behaviours that exhibit authenticity versus false pretense.  Why?  Well I think it is important to recognize key characteristics that undermine the whole concept of upholding ones integrity ... mainly because there are those that will push your personal boundaries and take advantage of your generosity and kindness ... only until they get what they need.

We have all encountered people who take on the “appearance” and perform the actions characteristic of a humble person but do not believe in being humble as a heart conditioned decision.  Perhaps a form of pretentiousness (hmmm ... pre-tense?), which is difficult to detect because they are fence-sitters that seem agreeable in the presence of an audience and yet in their heart they will do anything to get what they can get out of you.  They care more about their reputation than upholding their integrity because they lack moral standards and choose to be deceitful as a way of life. 

In the past I have written about the roles we play and the masks we wear, but those behaviours do not have the intention to operate on “how far can I go” and never think of the consequences of their actions.  Those behaviours are usually to cope, deal and manage ... and is completely based on the lack of self confidence, self worth and self love.  

Sadly, when a hypocrite gets detected, they are not necessarily sorry for their false actions, but sorry for being caught, because false humility is about preservation.  It’s all about keeping up appearances ... yet you know the saying “ you maybe able to fool a lot of people most of the time, but you can’t fool everyone ALL of the time.”

But there is a bright side ... 
These experiences are similar to stumbling blocks that try to keep those of us from achieving our dreams.  As we know, life is full of choices ... and this is a choice.  Simply by not entertaining those operating on false pretense, you will save yourself unnecessary pain and suffering.  The key is your intuition.  If it doesn’t feel right, find out why.  Remember you CAN live with an open heart and mind.

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.” 

~ Saul Bellow