" Events ... "

“Mark it on a calendar and walk away

Forget the stories forget the pain

They mean nothing to you well they mean nothing to me

But the memories wont let me be

Take the pictures to remember the day 

I'm forgetting the voices what they have to say

They mean nothing to you they mean nothing to me

But the memories wont let me be 

And it is only the strong survive

And that is only the biggest lie ... 

I blacked my soul last night to feel like you ...

And I need to think of something to say 

before we all are on the floor “

~ The Front Bottoms ~ Events ~

***

An event, big or small, happy or sad, surely you’ll see many you haven’t seen for a while.  Words are expressed with an embrace, observations are made and expectations are set ... and then what happens, absolutely nothing.  I can’t keep count how many times I heard ... haven’t seen you in a long time, we should get together, how have you been, gosh, you must be so busy, life is really hectic, so much going on, we really need to spend time together, how are you feeling ... moving lips and then what happens, absolutely nothing.

And so what’s the point?

It is so easy to believe you are connecting, you can pick up where you left off and you know what is going on in someones life.  Isn’t it just as easy to peek on their profile, snoop on their wall, and check out their social media outlets ... ?  

... we become perfect strangers ...

Perfect strangers whom meet when it is required, expected, and an obligation.  Sad?  for some ... because initially there is a sense of excitement, to reconnect, to rekindle the magic from when you were a youth.  It’s easy to romanticize the past.  Yet inevitably somehow along the way someone will see you in the same light ... can’t see past your faults, your flaws, your past.  Perhaps your new found identity threatens them and their existence.  Who are you now and where to they fit in?  So to them, you have never changed.  To them, you are same.  To them, judgement is a one way street.

WE change moment by moment.  So isn’t it odd to hear that nothing is new.  EVERYTHING is new.  So what is it about then?  Can they just cant be bothered to share with you their joys and sorrows?  Or maybe they don’t think it is that big of a deal ... their life that is.  Or maybe they are still stuck in the past, holding on to a grudge, even at the saddest times when all that is desired is comfort.  So, they give you the highlight reel ... the great trips, the awards their kids win, their latest purchase, their latest gadgets.  

Life is just so terrific.  So they say.  Yet their faces are full of suffering and because maybe they can't bare their soul, have a real conversation and really express how they are.  Perhaps the reality of their situation is too much to handle.  So you see others going through the motions ... saying the right things, doing the right things, and being seen where they need to be seen.  They lose the point ... of why they were present.  Perhaps a harsh observation but one that is usually not spoken.  And, yes of course, judgement as well.  

But how do we really feel?  

Aren’t there times when we just want to scream and say ... f*ck it?  

Isn’t that expression REAL honesty in the moment?  

Isn’t it okay to say that you are NOT okay? 

Isn’t it okay to ask for help?  

When we strive to become more authentic, we remove all the distractions, the image, the layers and the stories.  We bare who we TRULY are.  The shell is gone and we have no where to hide.  Kindness is always always ALWAYS necessary - especially towards self.

Gentle reminders of gratitude ... 

These events happen to teach - teach about who we are, what we are made of and what we are capable of dealing with.  We are all fractured souls trying to put the pieces back together.  We are all trying to figure it out.  So these moments, these events give us a chance to dig deep, sort out what works, what doesn’t.  These are the moments help us maneuver through life and all it’s glory.  And let it be so ...

www.walkstrong.ca

" No Harm ... "

I'm the true recluse, 

Blissful as a loner, 

And all that we have left

Is never lied for

Delivered on a word

Never near the target

Seen for what it was

And never eye to eye 

Baby there's no harm, 

There's no harm ... 

So watch what you say, 

There's a beast that's in me

~ Boxer Rebellion ~ No Harm ~

***

The more and more I hear the statement “do no harm, but take no shit”, I identify with it.  I realize that I am not that important, but what I do, matters.  And every single thought, intention or action has an effect.  Always.  

I always knew that life was too unpredictable to create bullshit, but learning not to take it from others is entirely different story.  And it is not about being a rude, inconsiderate, insensitive, impatient, angry ... ... it IS about choice.  

We equate peace with passivity and conflict with violence ... but how do we bring assertiveness within our peace and then how do we bring peace to personal conflicts?  How do we pause and wait out reactivity?  How do we give ourselves the opportunity to explore the infinities of other choices?

... practice non-action, remaining silent, taking a pause and letting things settle.  This may appear to be passive but it actually requires huge assertion, because it intercepts the expectations and anticipation of the outcome and focuses on the essence of what is ... 

A moment of hesitation, a moment of stillness, a moment of truth ... when you may respond avoiding regret.  We’ve all been there when as soon as it comes out of mouth, we wish it was still back in there. 

When our intentions come from a place of compassion, love, integrity and truth, no harm is possible.  This purity provides us a glimmer into the true essence of human nature.  We have it in us to do no harm when we operate from our higher self, rather than our ego.  

Plus there is always an opportunity to observe ego, yours or another, in action.  Indulgent feelings of righteousness as well as overbearing beliefs that “their” opinion must be shared and forced onto others.  Ironically, they don’t see this negative trait in themselves because they’re too focused on their belief that they are somehow justified and allowed to act that way.

Personally, I’d rather than be happy than right ...

www.walkstrong.ca