" How ... "

“ ... And I never thought about you much

Til I'm broken down and all alone, ohhh

Though I don't understand the meaning of love

I do not mind if I die trying, ohhh

Took it for granted when you lifted me up

I'm asking for your help

I am going through hell ... 

You cut out all the noise

And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now

But how?

How? ... “

~ Maroon 5 ~ How ~

***

How can we heal if we are living in the past?

Healing requires living in the present and taking one’s energy back from past traumas and hurts.  Because directing thought and energy to the past diverts vital life force from existing cells and organs that need that energy to function and heal.  

Simple yet not easy ... the reality is that not everyone wants to heal because healing is unattractive for some.  The fear of change, refusal to give up being a victim and once again, living in the past are all obstacles to our healing.  But why would we nurture the past .... to keep it alive because of the bitterness about what happened.  That story of how awful we were treated is a hook, a trigger, a crutch ... to use whenever we feel like a victim.  

Forgiveness ... releasing the control that the perception of victim hood has over our psyches.  It is about how we view life.  When we can begin to see a hurtful act as part of life process ... as a message or challenge instead of a personal betrayal, vital energy flows back into the physical body’s energetic field.  

My health care practitioner often speaks to me about the illusion of being a victim.  Too often I have held onto wounds and grief longer than is healthy.  And I recognize that these wounds and grief can be used as a means to manipulate and control others.  At times when I express a hurtful event, I am reminded how quickly I gravitate to the negative, how deep the patterning is to expect the worst and how easily I would give up my power.  The awareness allows the thought or belief causing suffering to ease up or even fade once the insight is revealed.

... whatever happened to sharing strength and love 

rather than leaving wounds behind ...

Living in the now, in the present means walking around without wound currency.  We all have it and some feel theirs is a bit more valuable than another.  Yet true healing requires change.  And from experience it is easier to claim not knowing what to do next, when in that exact moment you do know ... the courage to act.  

Healing demands actions that support the energy body.  And action requires living today.  No action, thought, or words can change your past ... yet the choice you make in this moment determines the next.  So choose to be here now, choose to heal.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Events ... "

“Mark it on a calendar and walk away

Forget the stories forget the pain

They mean nothing to you well they mean nothing to me

But the memories wont let me be

Take the pictures to remember the day 

I'm forgetting the voices what they have to say

They mean nothing to you they mean nothing to me

But the memories wont let me be 

And it is only the strong survive

And that is only the biggest lie ... 

I blacked my soul last night to feel like you ...

And I need to think of something to say 

before we all are on the floor “

~ The Front Bottoms ~ Events ~

***

An event, big or small, happy or sad, surely you’ll see many you haven’t seen for a while.  Words are expressed with an embrace, observations are made and expectations are set ... and then what happens, absolutely nothing.  I can’t keep count how many times I heard ... haven’t seen you in a long time, we should get together, how have you been, gosh, you must be so busy, life is really hectic, so much going on, we really need to spend time together, how are you feeling ... moving lips and then what happens, absolutely nothing.

And so what’s the point?

It is so easy to believe you are connecting, you can pick up where you left off and you know what is going on in someones life.  Isn’t it just as easy to peek on their profile, snoop on their wall, and check out their social media outlets ... ?  

... we become perfect strangers ...

Perfect strangers whom meet when it is required, expected, and an obligation.  Sad?  for some ... because initially there is a sense of excitement, to reconnect, to rekindle the magic from when you were a youth.  It’s easy to romanticize the past.  Yet inevitably somehow along the way someone will see you in the same light ... can’t see past your faults, your flaws, your past.  Perhaps your new found identity threatens them and their existence.  Who are you now and where to they fit in?  So to them, you have never changed.  To them, you are same.  To them, judgement is a one way street.

WE change moment by moment.  So isn’t it odd to hear that nothing is new.  EVERYTHING is new.  So what is it about then?  Can they just cant be bothered to share with you their joys and sorrows?  Or maybe they don’t think it is that big of a deal ... their life that is.  Or maybe they are still stuck in the past, holding on to a grudge, even at the saddest times when all that is desired is comfort.  So, they give you the highlight reel ... the great trips, the awards their kids win, their latest purchase, their latest gadgets.  

Life is just so terrific.  So they say.  Yet their faces are full of suffering and because maybe they can't bare their soul, have a real conversation and really express how they are.  Perhaps the reality of their situation is too much to handle.  So you see others going through the motions ... saying the right things, doing the right things, and being seen where they need to be seen.  They lose the point ... of why they were present.  Perhaps a harsh observation but one that is usually not spoken.  And, yes of course, judgement as well.  

But how do we really feel?  

Aren’t there times when we just want to scream and say ... f*ck it?  

Isn’t that expression REAL honesty in the moment?  

Isn’t it okay to say that you are NOT okay? 

Isn’t it okay to ask for help?  

When we strive to become more authentic, we remove all the distractions, the image, the layers and the stories.  We bare who we TRULY are.  The shell is gone and we have no where to hide.  Kindness is always always ALWAYS necessary - especially towards self.

Gentle reminders of gratitude ... 

These events happen to teach - teach about who we are, what we are made of and what we are capable of dealing with.  We are all fractured souls trying to put the pieces back together.  We are all trying to figure it out.  So these moments, these events give us a chance to dig deep, sort out what works, what doesn’t.  These are the moments help us maneuver through life and all it’s glory.  And let it be so ...

www.walkstrong.ca

" Sharing Grief ... (from Daily OM)"

Opening to Receive Comfort 

♥ holding you in hearts today Jacki ♥

When we experience something that causes us to feel shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw from life. It may seem like remaining withdrawn will keep us protected from the world, but during these times it is important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. Even with our best information and reasoning, we never know when someone else’s experience or perspective can give us additional information that we need. The universe speaks to us through many channels, and when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we also receive nurturing care from a loving partner in life’s journey.

Grief is part of the human experience, and sharing our vulnerability is what creates truly close bonds in our relationships. Opening ourselves up in this way gets to the core of our being, past all of our defenses and prejudices. When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time. It is then that we discover who is truly willing to walk with us through life. We also see that some of those sent to us may not be the ones we expected to see. Regardless, we learn to trust in the universe, in others, in our own strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of life itself.

Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden by letting someone else help carry it. This helps us process our own inner thoughts and feelings through the filter of a trusted and beloved someone. We may feel guilty or selfish, as if we are unloading on someone who has their own challenges. Although, if we think about it, we know we would do the same for them, and their protests would seem pointless. Remember that not sharing feelings with others denies them the opportunity to feel. We may be the messenger sent by the universe for their benefit, and it is on this mission that we have been sent. By sharing our hopes and fears, joys and pains with another person, we accept the universe’s gifts of wisdom and loving care. 

Grief is part of the human experience, 

and sharing our vulnerability helps create truly close bonds.