" Good Company … "

Take good care of what you've got ...

Don't fool with fools who'll turn away

All my friends by a year by and by disappeared

But we're safe enough behind our door

Reward of all my efforts

My own Limited Company

All through the years in the end it appears

There was never really anyone but me ...

Take care of those you call your own

And keep good company

~ Queen ~ Good Company ~

***

There are lots of opinions on whether or not isolation is good company.  So do you think you are good company for you?

Often when we think of isolation, we are patterned to believe loneliness, inadequate, lack there of, unavailable ... yet really it is just about spending time alone.  And being alone means many of the distractions that often take us away from planned tasks are removed ... people, social media, phones ...

Personally I had the aforementioned belief until I allowed my outer world to stand still.  That is when I heard my inner self.  Now I view isolation as a great way to rejuvenate myself, and strengthen a sense of who I am.  I am not afraid to be with myself, my thoughts or with nothingness.  I am able to slowdown activities while still feeling empowered.  No deadlines, no expectations, no pressure to converse ... other than my monkey mind creatively flowing.

Plus, I think one of the greatest rewards for me is increasing my confidence in my abilities to do specific activities without an audience.  And ... the beauty is YOU ... you emerge from you time with a true sense of self.  It is not selfish.  It is self-love.  Ultimately it is good to understand periods of self-isolation are important along with the need to be balanced with relationships with other people.

“ ... well, I think everyone struggles with self-love .. “

Philip Seymour Hoffman

" Solitude ... "

In my solitude

You haunt me

With dreadful ease

Of days gone by

In my solitude

You taunt me

With memories

That never die

I sit in my chair

And filled with despair

There's no one could be so sad

With gloom everywhere

I sit and I stare

I know that I'll soon go mad

~ Billy Holiday ~ Solitude ~

***

There are times when we need a variety of ways to cope with life pressures.  The need for balance and some sense that we are still steering the ship of our life.  Otherwise we feel overloaded and we overreact.  One way is by seeking solitude.

But it is important to know the difference between solitude and loneliness, because they are often confused for one in the same.  They may look alike because they are characterized by solitariness.  But that is the only thing they have in common.

solitude restores your mind and body, 

loneliness depletes them 

...

So what is loneliness? ... it is a marked by a sense of isolation and a negative place.  When you are lonely you feel like something is missing.  And perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness is when you are with people but still feel it.

Solitude on the other hand is a state of being alone without feeling a loss of something or someone.  It is a positive place where one can engage in something constructive.  It can be desirable as you provide yourself what you need, by yourself.

Solitude: an opportunity to refresh, replenish and renew ourselves 

...

Ideally, if you had to choose a state, solitude is your best bet.  Solitude can be a time that is used for reflection, inner searching or growth.  Activities such as meditation, in-depth reading, experiencing the beauty of nature and even creativity requires solitude.  

Solitude: a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings 

that is satisfying, from which we can draw sustenance 

...

But the trap is falling into loneliness ... a state of discontent, a sense of estrangement, a place of deficiency.  And worse, loneliness can lead to depression.  One way to view it is loneliness is imposed on you where is solitude is something you choose.  

Personally speaking, I have struggled between the two.  At times craving solitude, only to have it turn into loneliness and deep depression.  I am slowly learning not to be ashamed when I need a hand up, when I need to reach out, and when I need to ask for help.  

On the positive side, I am learning to be okay with solitude.  I am understanding solitude gives me time to know myself.  It is a counterpoint to intimacy.  It allows me to have a self worthy of sharing.  If I can catalogue my thoughts without having to filter them through other people’s opinions, I think more clearly and regain perspective.  Things don't seem as overwhelming, I stop grasping and clutching and controlling and allow the flow of life to happen.

The key for me is to have a peaceful atmosphere surround me and let my free will inspire my feelings of serenity without the fear of loneliness taking over.  It’s really about giving myself the time to develop a closer relationship with me, and that time is coming ... 

solitude pain with deep calm hope pastel by Prasenjeet Chakraborty