" Alone ... "

“ … And the night goes by so very slow

Oh I hope that it won't end though

Alone

But the secret is still my own

Till now I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now it chills me to the bone

Alone, alone … “

~ Heart ~ Alone ~ 

***

The origin of the word ALONE comes from the Middle East in around the 1300s, from al all + one one. The word itself can be viewed as all one rather than the sad reference it has today.

Being alone doesn’t mean you are anti-social or unwanted ... some sorry state that is colorless unless reinforced by others … implying the sadness, isolation and longing for companionship. Rather, being alone begins with embracing solitude.  

We recognize the benefits and joys within fulfilling relationships with other people, yet on your own, you begin to grow as a person.  You get a chance to recharge and you get a chance to reflect more.  As we spend time by ourselves, we don’t have to bother with processing the thoughts and feelings of others.  It is a time when we focus inwards.  

… solitude provides the perfect environment for reflection … 

And as we focus inwards, we have a chance to get in touch with our own emotions to gain a greater perspective. Plus create a deeper understanding of what makes us happy and what we really want.  

With this awareness of what you want, you may start doing thing you actually enjoy as well as become more productive with less distractions.  You may even have a sense of independence, confidence in your ability to actually be alone.  The anxiety or burning desire for others begins to fade … and you get some distance from constantly trying to keep other people happy … simply, that constant interaction is not required.  

When we consider the most important relationship is with one self, we must be happy to give happiness to others.  Otherwise we are depleted, drained and have nothing really valuable to offer.  This internal new found happiness has always been within us.  Alone time or solitude allows us gain access to it and to not be concerned with validation or approval. So as we begin a journey of self discovery, we learn to be okay as we are, on our own or if we prefer with others.  That interaction becomes a choice not an obligation or burden, where we can reveal who we really are.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Good Company … "

Take good care of what you've got ...

Don't fool with fools who'll turn away

All my friends by a year by and by disappeared

But we're safe enough behind our door

Reward of all my efforts

My own Limited Company

All through the years in the end it appears

There was never really anyone but me ...

Take care of those you call your own

And keep good company

~ Queen ~ Good Company ~

***

There are lots of opinions on whether or not isolation is good company.  So do you think you are good company for you?

Often when we think of isolation, we are patterned to believe loneliness, inadequate, lack there of, unavailable ... yet really it is just about spending time alone.  And being alone means many of the distractions that often take us away from planned tasks are removed ... people, social media, phones ...

Personally I had the aforementioned belief until I allowed my outer world to stand still.  That is when I heard my inner self.  Now I view isolation as a great way to rejuvenate myself, and strengthen a sense of who I am.  I am not afraid to be with myself, my thoughts or with nothingness.  I am able to slowdown activities while still feeling empowered.  No deadlines, no expectations, no pressure to converse ... other than my monkey mind creatively flowing.

Plus, I think one of the greatest rewards for me is increasing my confidence in my abilities to do specific activities without an audience.  And ... the beauty is YOU ... you emerge from you time with a true sense of self.  It is not selfish.  It is self-love.  Ultimately it is good to understand periods of self-isolation are important along with the need to be balanced with relationships with other people.

“ ... well, I think everyone struggles with self-love .. “

Philip Seymour Hoffman