" A Matter Of Trust … "

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust ...

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

~ Billy Joel ~ A Matter Of Trust ~ 

***

Suffering a betrayal of trust can be one of the most difficult times in your life ... and depending on the severity, some never recover.  Yet as we know ... life goes on, with or with out your participation.  And most of us recover ... sadly a bit more wounded, thankfully a bit more wiser.

As we move forward we decide if we are willing to give those that violate our trust another chance.  And regardless if they remain in our lives, it starts with forgiveness, because this is what leads to healing and restoration.

I remind myself that when I choose to rebuild a relationship, I choose to forgive what was and therefore make room for new memories ...

Trust is such a challenging thing to gain and once you lost it, some say it is impossible to regain.  Probably because wounds we gain from being hurt by those we love and admire run deep ... and not easy to get over ... but nothing is “impossible”.

So how do you rebuild trust?  You accept that you cannot change or fix the other person.  You take responsibility and apologize for your role in the situation.  You make an effort to not break future promises.  You become an active listener.  You put yourself in their shoes, empathize.

And when you have made a commitment to work on a fragile relationship the worst thing you can do is bring up past events.  If you say you have forgiven, it is unfair to bring up past mistakes.  Leave the past where it is, the past.

And be patient.  Allow the other person time ... time to understand, time to choose, time to reconcile, because regaining trust is a healing process and if the relationship is worth it, this too shall come.

" Moment of Surrender ... "

At the moment of surrender

I folded to my knees

I did not notice the passers by 

And they did not notice me

I’ve been in every black hole

At the alter of the Dark star

My body's now a begging bowl

That's begging to get back

Begging to get back 

To my heart

To the rhythm of my soul

To the rhythm of my consciousness

To the rhythm that yearns

To be released from control

At the moment of surrender

Of vision over visibility 

I did not notice the passers by

And they did not notice me

~ U2 ~ Moment of Surrender ~

***

Surrender ... one of the most important aspects of spirituality.  Used synonymously with letting go, allowing or movement of energy.  With a nemesis named resistance.

So what is it to surrender, why is it so hard to practice?

Well in it’s traditional sense, surrender is to “include a sense of loss and defeat, a place of weakness and inability, a choice to end the experience and exit the journey ... to yield something to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress.”

Yet in a spiritual context, surrender means something very different.   It is the wholehearted cooperation with the inevitable.  As Eckhart Tolle says “ ... say YES to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

Personally, I am learning to let go of the concept of who I think I am suppose to be and actually being who I am.  For who I am is unlimited possibilities and surrendering to the idea is acceptance of my total self.  

Surrender is total internal non-resistance ... 

it allows you to let go of all beliefs and judgements ... 

it provides silence ... 

and the connection with the Divine.

So why is to surrender so difficult?  One word: Control.  Yet, I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control, allow them to happen instead of making them happen.  And this is difficult for most because we are a control freaks ... you know using perfectly good energy trying to plan, predict and prevent the world.

And where does the control come from ... Fear.  We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.  We get attached to a specific outcome instead of being open to all sorts of possibilities.  

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe ... 

The Art of Surrendering ... 

* Natural flow of things ~ Non Resistance ~ Accept What Is *

* Complete acceptance of what is + Faith that all is well even without my input *

Personally, this provides so much relief.  Just think life goes on with or without your input.  So don’t take on the pressure of sorting it all out.  And it is not about inaction.  It is about being in control and choosing to let go ~ consciously and on purpose.

And if you still struggle with surrendering ask yourself ~ what are you afraid will happen if you let go of control?  And when you narrow the fear, question its validity.  Is it true?  Another tip is to make sure you are minding your own business.  Most of the time when we are trying to control things outside of our business, it doesn’t go well.

Mental note: Loosen your grip and feel the freedom ...

Surrender to the highest unconditional love you can imagine and create an outpouring of goodness into your consciousness which gets downloaded into your life.  Know that it takes courage, focus and patience to trust it ... it takes a self loving voyage that is not egotistical or narcissistic ... it is returning home to the infinite Source.