" Reflection ... "

Look at me 

You may think you see 

Who I really am 

But you'll never know me 

Every day 

It's as if I play a part 

Now I see 

If I wear a mask 

I can fool the world 

But I cannot fool my heart 

Who is that girl I see 

Staring straight back at me? 

When will my reflection show 

Who I am inside? 

~ Christina Aguilera ~ Reflection ~

For the month of December, my spiritual teacher has asked us to focus on Reflection.  Reflecting back on where we were and how far we have come.  And personally, this has allowed me to reflect on death so that I may gain an understanding of the preciousness of this life and how to make it meaningful.

Meditation teaches us to be mindful of breathing practices so that they can help us develop more concentration and calmness.  This calmness is the foundation for reflection.  But what really is reflection?  Reflection is a slightly different perspective every time you look back … 

“Imagine that you are standing in front of a calm lake. The lake is still and tranquil, and you can see the reflections of the further shore. You take a tiny pebble, and toss it into the midst of the reflections with respect, as if it were an offering to the ancient gods that live in the depths of the waters. The stone plops into the water, and disappears without trace, leaving behind waves of concentric ripples.  Each ripple presents you with a slightly different perspective on the reflections of the other shore. You watch the ripples radiating from the place where the stone vanished, as they widen and fade and eventually disappear altogether. Then once the lake’s surface is still once more, the reflections have returned to normal, and you toss in another offering “

What we know about death is that no one escapes it, it is definite and usually comes at an unexpected time.  This unknown brings us into the now ... no possession will help us, and no loved one can save us it.  I believe that every action of our body, mind and speech creates pathways in our brains which has the potential to ripen as future happiness or suffering, depending on whether the action was positive or negative.  

These imprints remain in the mind until they ripen 

or until they are purified or cleansed by spiritual practices ... 

This process in known as the law of karma.

Do we fear death or do we fear no living fully?  Do we just fear life will rob us of time with our children, our parents, our spouses, our friends?  If we have more time, what would we do differently?  If we can do it now, why don’t we?  What is holding us back?  What are we really afraid of?

Even if we do the same thing over and over again, every experience is unique,  and it is deeply fulfilling to experience the uniqueness of each precious moment.  It is within these precious moments, our purpose is revealed to us.  It is within these precious moments, infinite possibilities exists.

This process of self reflection has provided me a way to become aware of what is really holding me back.  It is one of the best ways to attain clarity and empowerment.  Through stillness, I hope for room to observe what continues to influence me, what I am dissatisfied with and what I want to change.

“ … to doubt everything, or to believe everything, are two equally convenient solutions; 

both dispense with the necessity of reflection … “ 

~ Henri Poincare

" On A Roll … "

“I’m waking up, up on the floor, still looking perfect

I’m walking out, out through the door, into the circus

I jump the train, I never pay ‘cus I’m a rock star

You go with me, there will be drink in a tea ah ...

On a roll again

Rock n roll again

On a roll again

Rock n roll again

Yea yea yea”

~ Icona Pop ~ On A Roll ~

***

You’re “on a roll” is what my husband said, followed with a high five.  Whoop!  Very exciting since he is referring to my handy work in the kitchen ... yes, quite a novelty for moi.

You see, it is a pretty big deal with close to the last 3 years working solely within the Gerson diet.  Now, being on maintenance has its perks, but it wasn’t this simple when I first started.  Once I was provided the “a-okay” to start introducing foods back into my diet, I ... didn’t know what to do.  I had the fear of, but if I eat that, according to the therapy, this will happen.  How can this be???  How can I what-if scenarios regarding food??  

I love food, so what am I so fearful to eat ...

With our human “expectations” of the bad, awful and ugly also comes a choice.  The choice to have no expectation, to take a chance, to live a little and see what happens.  Some may think a bit casual or foolish when it comes to health, but ironically it is exactly the opposite. 

There are so so many blessings that have come from then to now.  And yes, I choose to follow a clean, organic, vegetarian diet AND I allow myself to ENJOY LIFE.  And yes it is actually possible!  

And so, my handy work in the kitchen has resulted in super cool food combinations that have given me back the LOVE OF FOOD ... which I always knew I had within, but put on the shelf for a wee bit ... maybe even some future recipe posts ;)

www.walkstrong.ca

" From This Moment ... "

From this moment as long as I live

I will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up above

All we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you

~ Shaina Twain ~ From This Moment ~

***

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." 

~ Henry Van

Great quote and I only realized how each moment takes on a different dimension after being confronted with something like cancer.  When you are diagnosed with the disease and embark on a roller coaster of emotions, from anger to disbelief, you have the almost-stopped and dream like quality of time.

Living in the here and now ... the present.  Shifts you to live in the minute, moment by moment.  Since too much of our effort goes into wishing what was, or what is to be, we don't take the opportunity to live in the moment, whether it is good or bad. After all, time will never go faster or slower. It's only our perception of time that changes.

My current journey with breast cancer is primarily managed with a positive outlook on life.  Deep in my core, I always believed I would beat it ... with the odd doubt creeping in, I knew that this would not be the end of me.  And although not all my moments are nice ones, I realize that in those dark times and sad episodes, there has been opportunities.  There's the opportunity to really search inside my heart, mind and soul and sort through why this has happened ... leading to quite a personal transformation.  There's also the opportunity to make room for my loved ones and real friends ... enabling us to deepen our bond, cherish what we have, laugh, and rejoice.  

And then there's the most important opportunity of all. The realization that I can choose to appreciate every moment I have.  In between all that time I once wished away can be found so many small joys. There are little packages of happiness tucked away in all those little places that I wouldn’t have noticed if I was too intent on making my hurried way. And the realization of this is the gift that I, along with many other cancer survivors, share with you.  

There is a cliche saying “live life to the fullest.”  I’ve probably referred to this many times on this blog.  And although this saying is nice to state, it actually implies a deficiency in your life in the here and now.  How so?  Well we get caught up in what our lives could be or how much better our lives could be if only ... but my truth is living and knowing that my life is interesting just as it is right now.  

I often think If I were to view my life as a movie, I would be amazed of my internal struggles, my daily routines, my powerful potential, my interactions with others, my surroundings and my amazing growth.  My life is richer, I am stronger & I LOVE my life.

So celebrate these wonderful moments because every one of them is LIFE.  And as challenging as it may be, consciously choose to slow down, take in and appreciate them ... as we never know when it will be our last.