" Words ... "

“ ... Let's start a brand new story

Now my love, right now 

There'll be no other time 

And I can show you how, my love

Talk in everlasting words

And dedicate them all to me

And I will give you all my life

I'm here if you should call to me

You think that I don't even mean

A single word I say

It's only words, and words are all I have

To take your heart away ... “

~ Bee Gees ~ Words ~

***

By listening to and analyzing the words I use on a regular basis, I can learn to stop unconsciously programming myself to have limitations.  My own words tell a tale.  And listening to the words I say, explains a lot about what’s going on inside my head.  

Mindfulness practice helps me to gain the ability to pay attention to these words.  I am discovering that I often use self-limiting words before I even had a chance to think about them.  My subconscious chooses safe words that make unimportant things feel huge, and words that allow me wiggle room to procrastinate safely.  Simply put ... weak language is a subconscious attempt to avoid responsibility.

And I am called out on it, frequently, by my teacher.  Words that make me weak.  Words that make me sound like a victim.  Words that give me an easy way out to blame someone else when it all falls apart.

... clear speech means clear thinking.  And clear thinking means clear execution ... 

Need, Can’t, Try and Bad ... within these words tell you different than reality.  An unconscious box around solutions, limiting my creativity and failing to accomplish anything useful. Unaware of how I may be robbing myself of my power or destroying any hope for innovative thinking.  

... setting yourself up for learned helplessness ... 

I am learning that unconsciously our brains listen and because it cannot understand context, it creates confusion and subtle stress.  I am learning that using words that mean the same thing to my conscious brain and my unconscious brain, feels good.  

... words, actions and thoughts matter ... 

My ego took a good bruising last night when I got called out on the specific word, try.  Try seems to be a word that has two meanings.  Growing up, we were told to learn something, practice it and keep trying.  Seemingly a ‘normal’ way to encourage to do better.  Now, trying seems to presuppose a likelihood of failure, subconsciously planning to fail.  The advice ... don’t try, DO  

The language we use is a part of our software.  So using it consciously and with precision can allow us to achieve things that we didn’t know we could. We begin to shift that internal monologue, chatter, script to a more compassionate path.  We begin to believe we are capable.

www.walkstrong.ca

" It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ... "

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It's the hap -happiest season of all

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings

When friends come to call

It's the hap - happiest season of all …

It's The Most Wonderful Time

It's The Most Wonderful Time

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year end of lyrics

~ Andy Williams ~ It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ~

***

And here we go again … it’s officially the most wonderful time of the year, the holiday season.  For most, it is a time of happiness, nostalgia and joy … until you go to the mall.

Relax … Release … Let go

The outside pressures of the holidays begin to creep in and the stress starts to gain momentum.  More expectations, more drama and more pressure to be perfect.  

… the word gift wandered through multiple meanings before arriving at its current common meaning: “something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance.”

The real meaning of love, joy and peace is simply magical yet it can be lost when the holiday become bigger than life itself.  It can be overwhelming, frustrating and more of a bother than a pleasure.  Yet with some thoughts to keep in mind, we can bring ourselves back to a place of gratitude for what is in our lives …

Start with yourself if you want your holidays to be less stressful.  

A daily practice of meditation and silence provides an opportunity to shift your perspective and bring an entirely different energy to your environment.  

Let go of perfection because you will fail miserably if you don’t.  

Memorable holiday experiences have come from unplanned events so make plans, set intentions but release your desire to control the details.  

Perspective is necessary, especially at this time of the year.  Most understand that your presence has so much more greater value in your loved ones lives than that great boxed gift you picked up.  Yet, regardless of your gift giving practices, it may be good to know why we give during the holidays.  The concept of gifting can be traced back to the gold, frankincense and myrrh which were given to baby Jesus by the three kings.  And so gifting in the modern day gives us many reasons … to reconnect with old friends, to express our love and gratitude, to share some of the joys we may have experienced throughout the year … or simply do a little something for others and let them know we care.

And so if you are running out of time, consider YOU! ... don’t underestimate the power of offering more of yourself as a gift to others.  Attention and your presence truly are precious jewels.  Personally I am so grateful of the holiday season because it provides us with this opportunity.  Consider the challenge and know that you are enough and you, yourself are the most precious gift of all.

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence; 

when mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers” 

Thich Nhat Hanh

www.walkstrong.ca

" Manage ... "

“ …Created time,

Now this ones mine,

Gave pictures frames …

Created man gave him woman,

Why did you do that for me?

These are the questions asked before 

i lay me down and go to sleep, 

Sometimes i wonder why you decided to keep you hands on me.

Of all the miracles, signs and wonders,

There's still one mystery,

How did you manage to love me?

How did you manage to love me? … “

~ R.Kelly ~ Manage ~

***

Recently, I was sharing a painful experience with a friend.  I shared my sadness regarding someone who is no longer a part of my life.  It wasn’t about re-living the experience, it was about sharing the load.  It wasn't about romanticizing the past ... it was simply about sharing the load .... 

And my friend said something that just made sense.  She said, you just got tired of managing the relationship.  Bam!! - yes, that’s it --- she had the wisdom to stop me from spiralling into self-doubt and self-pity.  She let me know that it was okay and that I was not alone.

So ever wonder what you are managing, who you are tolerating, what are you putting up with to get through, get by, not rock the boat and let sleeping dogs lie?  Do you give a special pass to family and friends versus acquaintances?  Are you filled with resentment and/or envy?  Do you suppress your emotions?  What’s it all worth?

Questions to ask yourself, quietly, 

when you are challenged, pushed to the limit, tested … 

Grateful this time it is different.  It didn’t take much to get out of a negative head space, the blame and shame game … did I do enough and could I do more?  Realization to what is present and available … focusing on what is not what isn’t … and trusting it is part of their journey, not yours.  

Gentle reminder … it is my job to love myself, not theirs.

It is liberating to focus on what is available in the present moment.  

Regrets from the past are great reference points.  

The future is open to strive for a goal.  

Words are just letters on a paper unless they are supported by action.  They have power, they have resonance and they have purpose.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Blessed to have real love present now.

Ask yourself do you manage or are you being manage?

Managing a relationship involves nurturing and growth, love and compassion, disagreements and respect … two sides.  When people view the same situation differently, it is an opportunity for multiple perspectives.  Yet, relationship problems often arise when power dynamics are unbalanced.  Reflect and release … letting go of what no longer serves you.  Each connection provides a deeper insight into who we really are, serving a purpose regardless how painful it may seem.

“Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.” 

- Bernard Branson

www.walkstrong.ca

" Tolerate ... "

Try to see the way around you

I can't find it

Try to take the path behind me

Can't rewind it

Stick your finger in my face and

I will break it

Leave me with an after taste

I live for it

I try

Tolerate

~ Staind ~ Tolerate ~ 

***

We’ve heard that life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not endured.  Then why does it seem that most are just “tolerating” it?

You may understand what I mean.  It is hard to stay in a space of peace, calm and clarity when chaos is in your environment.  Blame it on work, marriage, school, family … we tend to go thru the motions.  We fake it till we make it … we tolerate. 

We tolerate behaviours in others and ourselves …

We tolerate people who are purposely difficult.  
choice … life gets easier when you remove those who make it difficult

We tolerate and attempt to live up to the expectations of others.

choice … do your best and create the time towards your true destiny

We tolerate and share our victim story

choice … life is too short to spend at war with yourself

We tolerate and romanticize and hold on to the past.

choice … you are not your past failures or habits, learn from your regrets and live beyond your fears

We tolerate our excuses.

choice … just do it and let your actions speak for themselves

We deserve to be happy and live a life that we are excited about.  So don’t let others make you forget that.  Just because someone else’s life is in chaos, that they are going thru the motions, and tolerating life … you don’t have to.  Reflect on the person you are capable of being … joyful moments of self-discovery, passionate endeavours, playing and standing up for what you believe in.  Strive for your time of living as a life fully living rather than just tolerating.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Wisdom ... "

Out in the cold and tryin' to make fire.

Two sticks and stone, still got no fire.

Once I was shown, but I was inside then.

And spit on that good advice.

Wisdom, wisdom, where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdo-o-o-om

Wisdom, wisdom, where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdo-o-o-om.. o-o-o-om..

Wisdom, wisdom..

where can I get some?

Wisdom, wisdom..

I wanna trade my dimwits in for tips.

Tips are 'quipped with

wisdom, wisdo-o-om..

~ Mother Mother ~ Wisdom ~

***

The more you give the more you receive, but what you give is also what you receive ... so the quality of what you give matters as much as the quantity of your giving.  

It is about approaching someone as if there is something you want to give versus need to get ...

Personally, I struggle every time I hear of someone else facing a “diagnosis”.  That moment I know too well ... your life as you know it, stops.  So yesterday, at the request of a good friend, I had the opportunity to give ... give my time and share my experience regarding GT.  Was it passing on wisdom? ... hmmm perhaps,  but I looked at it as wanting something for someone else and coming from a place of wholeness, presence and compassion.  

And it was not just about self-confidence or altruism. It was about taking responsibility for creating positive energy around me, which inevitably multiples.  It was about sharing a little light at a dark time with the intention of giving something good.  It is about consciously choosing to share.

Love is the motivating force ... 

Wisdom is the guiding force ... 

When you share wisdom you tend to deal with the issue instead of the residual effects.  You have the opportunity to empower another by transforming and expanding their mind.

I found myself speaking words that I needed to hear too.  Affirmation about my path ... along with the empowerment to do even more of the greatest good.  I can choose to do what’s best and not less.  You see to do the greatest good of all, love must be guided by wisdom.

“ ... you can offer no greater gift than the spiritual and mental empowerment of others, because the inner world creates the outer phenomena ... “

We all need conscious knowledge because it brings everything else.  It allows us to know who we really are and results in enlightenment, healing and joy.

Also, I realize that the wisest people are the ones that acknowledge if the don’t know enough of the subject.  There were times I couldn't answer questions, I just didn't know.  You see others can only trust you when you have knowledge, therefore enlightened giving is to give when you have clarity.

I wanted to provide some compassion to another at a time when it was needed the most.  I wanted to give a little wisdom and help another with a real need.  An opportunity was presented to give because there was an opening to receive.  

And I realized that it truly is the size of my heart that matters 

more than the size of my act.