" Signs ... "

“ ... Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs

Messin' up the scenery, breakin' my mind

Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

And the sign says "Everybody welcome, come in, 

kneel down and pray"

But then they passed around a plate at the end of it all

And I didn't have a penny to pay

So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own sign

I said, "Thank you Lord for thinking 'bout me, 

I'm alive and doing fine", oh ... “

~ Tesla ~ Signs ~ 

***

Food addiction was never my problem ... it was only a symptom.  It gave me a way out that I could never find on my own.  I always wanted to be comfortable with me but I didn’t know how to get there.  My deep-seated fears and insecurities seemed to always take over.  

Once I got cancer-ed, I realized I had no real idea of how to deal with life on life’s terms.  Everything got stripped away in all areas of my life.  And today, nothing looks remotely the same as it did 5 years ago.  And looking back, it feels like a past life.  

Currently, still living with a dis-ease, I’ve had to explore new ways, healthier ways.  The more I started to change the way I felt inside, the simpler life is getting.  I realized the problem was never food, it was me.  I only used food so that I could escape my fears and me.  Once I was unable to hide behind food, I was faced with the reality of my situation.  At my core, I feared that I wasn’t good enough, wouldn’t be loved and that something was wrong with me.  

Yet as I started to shift into a peaceful path, a path of least resistance, life started to become easier.  Suffering comes from not accepting what is.  Life is always right, we just don’t have to like it that much.  Shifting into a place of acceptance and understanding that all that I am looking for, is already within me.  No need to prove, no need to show, no need to explain, no need to do.  Just be.  Simply be and accept who I am in this moment ... and discovering the things I don't like, as hard as it is to face, is what my spiritual growth needs.

And so the shift into a more serving, productive and peaceful path gives some meaning to being here.  Sharing what we know and realizing our connection to each other, Gaia, and all it’s sentient beings.  Some may few it as a fluffy view.  Yet with a softer gaze things seem a little less contrast, a little more balanced.  

Slowing things down ... a moment for gratitude because If cancer has given me anything, it's been time to do the things I would never have done otherwise.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Frustrate … "

I want to scream
Clenched fist, ground teeth
A bad dream, feeling so mean
Stumble across my piece ...

Quiver the index, sweat between the skin and the steel
All of the sudden it feels so real
The bang, the smoke, the blood ... 

A release to stay insane

~ Flotsam and Jetsam ~ Frustrate ~

***

Frustration can get the best of anyone ... and it happens when we are trying to do something in our own strength that we cannot do.

It can happen when we feel like we are in a rut ... a dead-end job, in survival mode, in a toxic relationship ... all while being unhappy achieving none of your goals or dreams.  As we age, we start to reflect, and if we feel like we have not much to show for it ... frustration sets in.

Let go or be dragged ...

Frustration brings on a mixture of anger and sadness as a result of interactions with people, events or circumstances.  How we react and our emotional response determines our level of frustration, when things don’t go according to plan. In other words, we don’t get what we want.

Let’s get some perspective ... are your current problems and issues of major consequence in the long run?  Ask yourself if it will even matter 5 or 10 years from now … Personally, my frustrations were an excuse to prevent me from achieving my goals and living my life to the fullest.  I was unrealistic and impatient.  I was full of pride, narcissism & ego and then there was a major shift ...

I started to count my blessings and appreciate what I have in my life rather than worry about what I didn’t have.  

I started to become clear about what I wanted in my life and who I wanted in my life.

I started to speak my truth and follow my path, even if it is alone.

And it is easy to slip back into old patterns, old scripts and old ways.  But it is how easily we get ourselves out of that place ... how easily we “unstuck” ourselves.

REALIZATION … 

frustration and confidence are both within my control, 

but only one will help me achieve the life I crave.

www. walkstrong.ca