" Rock Bottom ... "

“ ... I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net

I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer

That's Rock Bottom

When you feel like you've had it up to here

'Cause you're mad enough to scream but you're sad enough to tear ... “

~ Eminem ~ Rock Bottom ~

***

You are walking into the ocean and big wave comes and knocks you over.  You find yourself lying on the bottom, with sand in your face. Gasping, drowning, searching for a way.  And you have a choice ... you keep lying on the bottom or stand up and start to keep walking out to sea.

It is easier to keep lying on the bottom because you know that there is another big wave approaching, possibly to knock you down further. And so you ask yourself, do you want to live?  There is something within you, that answers YES ... and in that moment when you decide to cultivate courage and bravery ... humour arises.  Because you realize that the waves never stop coming but they may seem to get smaller.  You realize that you may just need float on your back rather than swim against the current. 

There is a softness and vulnerability that emerges during this time, with your best qualities come out of suffering.  When these things happen in our life, and we choose to get up, and keep walking out to the sea, we are not shielding ourselves.  We are not guarding ourselves.  We are real.

And so ... walking out to sea, that same wave keeps knocking me down.  Falling face forward, with sand in my mouth, I get up, again ... I realize how tired I am but also that the waves may not be smaller, but my ability to swim or ride gets better.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Only You ... "

“ ... Only you can make this world seem right

Only you can make the darkness bright

Only you can make this change in me

For it's true, you are my destiny

I understand the magic that you do

my one and only you ... “

~ The Platters ~ Only You ~

***

In a lifetime, we are bound to meet thousands of people.  Some of them we connect, others we won’t.  We make family, friends, enemies and if we are lucky, a companion to help us make it to the finish line.  Yet there is always something to remember ... from the beginning to the end, YOU ... will only always have you.  

We humans crave a feeling of belonging, a connection with those we interact with on consistent terms, yet remembering we will never be anything more than ourselves ... with only bits and pieces of those we surround ourselves with.  

Those we surround ourselves with ... people come in and out of our lives constantly, willingly or forced.   But are birthed alone and we die alone.  So only rely on you.  Not because you are a pessimist, but because when you do, you gift the world a better, stronger, healthier and wiser individual.  

When we have samadhi, constant attention, towards our goals and our purpose, we realize how capable we are of experiencing, doing, creating and achieving so much.  We are a whole single unit with infinite capabilities. 

... you are a mini version of the universe; the same laws that hold true for stars and galaxies hold true for you ... 

You and only you from birth to death ... so decide how you are going to live the rest of your life.
Take charge or wallow, take time to explore or hide, get to know who you are or keep up the image.  Because when it is you and only you ... you can ask you ... what you are capable of?  

Wherever we are in our journey ... as the layers come off and you begin to unravel, clarity arises, between who you believe you are and who you truly are.  And so, you meet yourself for the first time and realize that the answers you are looking for have always been within YOU.
Beautiful YOU ... from birth to death.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Avoid ... "

“ ... Sorry about that. 

I’ll never know comfort till the sun sets.

I’ve always known the struggle when the light and my eyes met.

They connect.

Put me back in the earth.

I came from dust and not dirt.

You made me from dust, not dirt ... “

~ The Color Morale ~ Avoid ~ 

***

I think people are surprised when you tell them you are a yoga instructor but may not practice intense yoga every day.  Yes, I try, I try very hard.  But with the expectation that it should be easier, personally speaking, every time I step onto the mat, I feel like it’s the first time.  And at times when there is a sudden loss of a loved one, or I am spiraling downward cycle of depression, I have no motivation, let alone the desire to step onto my mat ... but I try ... and I don’t beat myself up if I don’t make it.

With over a decade of my own personal practice, I acknowledge that the poses I avoid at all costs are the ones I need the most.  Sounds like life.  Distractions, procrastination and apathy can allow me to avoid my mat and bury me far away from our most unwanted feelings.  By doing this, I avoid giving attention to that which needs it the most ... the darkness.

... turn a setback into a comeback ...

So getting on your mat can be an arduous task ... yeah, that is a great marketing tool ... but honestly, it sort of is.  Because you don’t want to face those uncomfortable emotions sometimes.  You know those ones, just under the surface.  Fear about what may come up, what you may find and what you may have to let go.  

... remembering that yoga goes beyond the movements we perform on our mat, and that through this solo dance, we give attention to the emotions we are avoiding and transform our reality ... 

• I realize the times when I feel alone in my darkness is the precise time I need to be alone on my island of my yoga mat.  That is when I need it the most .. 20 seconds, 20 minutes or 2 hours ... time is irrelevant.  
• I realize that in those moments, I can listen to what my heart wants and needs ... and do it, with faith and rather than judgement.
• I realize that learning to own my body’s movements and self-expression on the mat helps me to own the darkest emotions while they ebb and flow like the ocean. 
• I realize that as I grieve loss, I can dedicate my practice towards the experience, be grateful, feel connected and a sense of oneness and love.

This practice has been a constant thread in my life ... through loss, turmoil, drama ... and illness.  It is naive for me to think that this practice will erase negative thoughts or strong emotions.  Yet from experience, it saved me from resistance by allowing space to witness what happens inside of me, to accept me, to accept both the darkness and the light.  And appreciate that since our time on Gaia is just a lifetime, we can choose to come home to ourselves, in the present moment, with compassion, kindness and unconditional love.

www.walkstrong.ca

" Count On Me ... "

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3

I'll be there

And I know when I need it

I can count on you like 4, 3, 2

You'll be there ... 

I'll sing a song beside you

And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me

Every day I will remind you

~ Bruno Mars ~ Count On Me ~

***

You know those moments where you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders ... and there seems to be nobody willing to lend a helping hand.  That’s when you must realize that you have to keep going and you can only count on yourself.

Because in the end, your strength and endurance is what will carry you forward, with or without anyone by your side.  And when you are confident enough to keep moving forward by yourself when the going gets tough, you’ll also develop the ability to help others realize they can do the same. 

realization ... 

making YOU better doesn’t always mean 

that others around you will turn into their better ...

When you start to take responsibility for your life and the things in it, you can heal what you confront.  It is difficult and it isn’t fun, but it requires doing a bit of self-care.  Be ready as you will feel the burden of weighing a hard decision and accepting the consequences, especially if they are not favourable to you.  There will be no external praise and no reward.  But you gain a quiet confidence as you take control of you.  You become observant and open to new experiences.  You develop goals that are set for yourself, by yourself.  

Balancing self -reliance is important.  We are not islands and we feed off each others energy.  Yet this is about counting on no one else besides yourself.  You are enough and you are complete.  You are worthy and what you do matters.  

Reliance on one's own 

capabilities, judgment, or resources; independence ... 

Self -reliant people are not arrogant or vain, nor do they believe that “everyone is cruel!”.  Self-reliant are those who see the world, good and bad, and consciously choose to be strong for themselves and others.  Self-reliant accept the world, as it is, and all of its complications ... because it is this that allows us to see that there are infinite ways to live and there is not requirement to conform to one of them.

www.walkstrong.ca