" Rushing ... "

“ ... And the weeks and the months go rushing by

This year we have learned how to live

How to forget, and how to forgive without fear, ohh ooh

... This year I pray for you, uh

And I thank God for you

Just wanna be with you

This year that's all I wanna do

Day by day, I'm gonna get my way

This year I pray for you

Seasons turn, I've got a lot to learn ...

This year we have learned how to live ... “

~ Moby ~ Rushing ~

***

Ralph Emerson said “we are always getting ready to live but never living”.  It seems that most people are busy, short of time and rushing through life ... but what if you just be in the moment?  Not practical you might think because you have so much to do, so much to say.  Fair enough ... but have you ever tried slowing down and taking a backseat to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer?

When we rush through life, we forget to life in the NOW.   

When you rush through life, you miss out on the journey.  You miss out on living in the present and you miss out on those precious moments of life.  All because you are busy trying to next step, get to the next place.  

So, I call bullshit ... because when you are busy in your life with lots to be done each day, you are simply making an excuse to deal with yourself.  What are you avoiding, what don’t you want to deal with ... what IS the rush?

To be busy has become a way of life.  It signifies importance for some and for others, a perception of how responsible one is.  Yet more of us are clocking longer hours and we seem to even pack our free time with extra activities.  Plus, we do it to ourselves ... the addiction to the adrenaline rush of doing too much and at the last minute ... maybe to seek appreciation ... maybe to increase our value ... maybe if we do more, get better, go faster ... it just becomes a habit.

Thankfully, we can rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.  A slow paced life means you make time to enjoy your morning, instead of rushing off to work.  A slow paced life means you enjoy your conversation rather than being distracted by your phone.  Personally, slowing down is a conscious choice I make ... and not always an easy one.  Yet I have a greater appreciation for life and the happiness available to me at any given moment.  I just need to be here, now, because I am constantly reminded, there is no other place to be.

Prioritize and begin by doing less.  Focus on what is really important, what really needs to be done and let go of the rest.  Become mindful of whatever you are doing in the moment.  Be fully available for others and listen because we think we listen, but we are really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say.  Make a point to do one task at a time.  And always go back to your breathe.  If you find yourself speeding up and stressing out ... pause and take a breathe, by focusing on each breath will bring you back to the present moment and slow yourself down.  

Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle 

that they need to overcome ... since the present moment is life itself, 

it is an insane way to live ~ Eckhart Tolle

" Numb ... "

They say life is a battlefield

I say bring it on

If you wanna know how I feel

Live it till it's gone

I'm just saying that what don't kill, only makes you strong

If you don't recognize what is real

Then forever is a long, long, long ... Time

Some things never change here we go again

Feel like I'm losing my mind

Shake it off, let it go, I don't care any more

Just go numb

You never know until you let go

Let's go numb ...

Can you feel it?

~ Usher ~ Numb ~

***

Thanks to a recommendation from a good friend, I have been reading “The Gifts of Imperfection” By Brene Brown.  Wonderful book, full of insight, knowledge and written in a very straight forward manner.  And the cool thing is that I am finding hidden gems as I read.  The recent one is about numbing.

All of us have experience vulnerability, discomfort and pain that we want to avoid.    So you may wonder why not ... why not just numb the emotions because isn’t this just another coping mechanism?

Think about it ... ... booze, food, affairs, money, work, shopping ... used to numb the pain or at least to take the edge off ... resulting in emotional numbness.  Numbing is when you are tired of fighting the feelings of anxiety, depression and just want detachment or to escape.

But according to Dr. Brown, “we cannot selectively numb emotions because when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb positive emotions”.  Well that’s not any good is it?

Severe feelings of detachment makes it hard for us to access normal feelings.  You don’t know yourself, you lose joy, love and happiness in your life and you use a lot of energy to avoid having an authentic emotional experience.

So how do you overcome emotional numbness 

and live with emotional integrity?

Personally speaking, 
I went from avoid, avoid, avoid ... to allow, allow, allow.  

Now, I respect and allow all emotions no matter what they are.  I realize that to feel and to act can be different.  I try to sort out where the emotions are coming from ... am I angry, hurt, sad, etc.  I ask for help when I need help.  And the most important for me is that I am patient with myself ... learning to trust myself again and just be me.

Also, “facing emotions is different than soaking in them until they drain you dry”.  So I stay mindful and notice that these feelings are a part of my emotional health where sometimes a brief break is purposeful and an opportunity to recoup.

You see, once you have allowed the emotions, recognizing a pattern or theme from the experience can allow you to look for meaning or a lesson to be learned.  

Believe that in our ever changing world, emotions pass and time helps.  If we learn acceptance instead of suppression we can understand that feelings are much like life waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf ...