" Always ... "

“ ... I've been here before a few times

And I'm quite aware we're dying

And your hands they shake with goodbyes

And I'll take you back if you'd have me 

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready ... 

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

So here I am I'm trying

So here I am are you ready

Always

Always

  Always ...”

~ Blink 182 ~ Always ~

***

Give yourself permission to remove finite words from your vocabulary.  You know the one that you try to live up to but haven’t been able to.  The one that nags at you, tells you that you could have done better.  And that you gave up too soon.  You know the word ... always.

It is simply impossible to always.  You say you will always love, but something gets in the way. You say you will always be supportive, but something gets in the way.  You say you will always stay till the end, but something gets in the way.  Something ... life or you get in the way.  

So it isn’t al-ways.  Because if it was, commitment would be fulfilled in al-ways, in any-way.  And what are always and forever intrinsically worth?  Why is it inherently valuable?  It isn’t ... it is the moments and effort that make up forever that hold the value. 

We have learned that the concept of always and forever as merely a promise to do so is what is expected.  Yet our lives are filled with so much fear, pain, hurt, betrayal and lies.  We recognize in others the manipulation and deceit because we recognize it in ourselves.  And we realize that always and forever doesn’t exist.  Because conditions change and therefore the always and forever were actually based on those conditions.

Our words and intentions are put to the test when someone or something is not in alignment with what we want.  When our conditions are not met, we feel it personally.  And the years of always and forevers begin to hold less weight.  The response is usually to blame the other.  They are not the same, they have changed, they have ... yet if your always and forever were authentic, your resolve is un-waivered.

And so we begin to beat ourselves up because our always and forever isn’t so.  

We realize that our love is based on certain criteria.  

We realize that love is not for-ever, love is for NOW.  

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