“ This doubt is screaming in my face
This familiar place sheltered and concealed
and if this night won't let me rest
don't let me second guess
what I know to be real
put away all I know for tonight
and maybe I just might learn to let it go
take my security from me
maybe finally I won't have to know everything
I am falling into grace to the unknown
to where you are and faith
makes everybody scared
it's the unknown the don't know
that keeps me hanging on and on and on to you “
~ Lifehouse ~ Unknown ~
***
Would you call it a crisis when you realize that you really know nothing? What about all that education and life experience, does that qualify you as being wise? A realization ... what you thought you know, you don’t, what you can count on, you can’t ... and frankly, you are not alone.
Not a pessimistic view, a realistic one. Those certainties in your life, don’t exist. That "one" you had is no longer in your life. That job you had secured is no longer available. The happily ever after are just words. And it goes on ... life, not as you planned.
Shift happens and so, you course correct, readjust and move forward. Even if moving forward is the last thing you want to do. Why? so that you don’t become stuck ... stuck in your own muck.
Uber easy to move into a crazy place of unknown, fear of not being prepared for whatever comes your way. But you are you ever really ready? Are you ready for the chaos that follows the pivotal moment when you decide ... what do I want?
Ask the question but drop the guilt, shame and judgement. Open up to vulnerability. Open up to the truth. Open up to whatever comes. Because there is no control, there is no rhyme, there is no reason. There is only space for acceptance, for surrender. There seems to only be space to BE.
Having the courage to ask. The courage to stand in your own truth. The courage to believe in yourself, by yourself, for yourself. Trusting you can handle what you are experiencing. Knowing you can. Now what ... what now? Whatever you wish.
Having the insight that nothing is permanent and “this too, shall pass”. The transient nature. The flow. The change. The waves. The tide. Allowing it to occur as it will ... believing all is as it should be. Check in with your faith ...
Times when you don’t know about, anything. Leaking fear and anxiety into your chest, near your heart, in your throat. Feelings of guilt muddled with regret, with overtones of panic and an undercurrent of fear ... like a vice grip.
With present focus on breath, accepting that there is no right answer. Just feel beyond the emotions and to trust. Having the courage to work with what is in the present moment and respond at best with kindness. Beginning with self first.
Begin to enjoy the indecision to be free. Free to all possibilities and the relief that follows. Free to embrace the joy and peace which is tickled with lightness ... realizing faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on to.
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