" Living On A Prayer … "

She says we've got to hold on to what we've got 

'Cause it doesn't make a difference 

If we make it or not 

We've got each other and that's a lot 

For love - we'll give it a shot 

Whooah, we're half way there 

Livin' on a prayer 

Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear 

Livin' on a prayer 

We've got to hold on ready or not 

You live for the fight when it's all that you've got

 ~ Bon Jovi ~ Living On A Prayer ~

***

Emotionally, something to happen, something to become, something to have.  Waiting for something before I can really ??… Logically, battling why I hold myself back from activities, projects, opportunities … 

For a long time I felt that I couldn’t possibly bliss out in life without being perfect.  Perfectly healed that is.  Because perfection comes from hard work & dedication, because perfection is where you earn the rewards.  But I couldn’t be rewarded until ... I couldn’t  venture out until ... I couldn’t try new things until ... I couldn’t eat that until, I couldn’t (why, because they said so …), I couldn't (why, because that might happen) … 

I put so much pressure on myself to provide "proof" of my efforts 

because "just living with cancer" wasn't good enough ...

You see, when you face a life threatening situation, you make changes because you don’t have a choice.  To survive and thrive.  You develop routines and schedules so that you have some certainty.  Absolutely everything in your life revolves around the challenge.  AND, this FEEDS your FEARS!!! ... if you alter your new lifestyle, it will be detrimental to your health because of what ifs … what if, what if, what if?

You live yourself into a nice, pretty bubble and then guess what happens, you just stop living and THAT in itself is ungrateful.

Ungrateful because we are gifted life, here and now, not when things are just perfect according to what we want.  Life is perfect as it is, as it should be according to the Divine ...

And then it happens ... awakening ... every single day is where the gratitude lies.  You realize that you don’t have to wait to LIVE, travel, explore, take a course, make new friends, nurture present relationships and cultivate what really matters to you NOW.  Things seem clearer, old seems new, take a chance, think outside (no box required) and get out of your comfort zone.  

NOW ask yourself, what small step can you take today to start living your (miracle) life?