" Understanding … "

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.

Consciously, you've forgotten it.

That's the way the human mind works.

Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us

to entertain, we reject it.

We erase it from our memories.

But the imprint is always there.

Can't wash it all away

Can't Wish it all away

Can't hope it all away

Can't cry it all away

In our mutual

Shame we hide our eyes

To blind them from the truth

That finds a way from who we are ...

~ Evanescence ~ Understanding ~

***

Why is it that trying to understand the behaviour of some people is like trying to smell the color 9?  Seriously.  I recently saw some one whom I knew for a very very long time.  We were good friends, some may have even thought best friends ... we have a lengthy history but we no longer are in each others lives.  And what happened ... I got ignored.  Yep, ignored.

But I think the interesting thing was the environment.  Their energy was odd and the scenario was random.  And once I realized who this person was, they had sailed by, pretending to not know me and who I was.  Really if you think about it they were right ... they don’t know me, not anymore.  And, perhaps they never did.  Afterwards, I felt unsettled, with a physical sensation of nausea and fear.  My body was shaking and speaking to me ... and I listened.

I listened because I now understand.  I understand how difficult behaviour can manifest itself as rudeness, open anger and even aggression.  And like all negative forces, these attitudes and behaviour tend to be contagious.  They drain collective energy, foster misconceptions, bring out the worst in others and spark conflict … no thanks.

Perhaps the randomness was the universes way of saying ... 

• be grateful for what was and appreciate what is
• see how far you have come
• don’t look back, there is nothing there for you
• you made the right decision
• don’t settle
• you deserve better

There is no unfinished business when there is no business.  We tend to romanticize the past, wish, hope or cry for what was instead of accepting what is.  For me, acceptance is not the issue ... it is the lack of general consideration, kindness and compassion for another human being ... reminder: what they think of me is none of my business.

Ultimately, it is a true test of oneself when you can still have grace and compassion for someone who treats you poorly ... a measure as to how far you have come and perhaps how far they still need to go.