" Discover ... "

On the city and your skin now

I didn’t have to be afraid

I didn’t have to feel so stupid

I can see myself

I can feel ...

This is where I am

I see the city rise up tall

The opportunities and possibilities

I have never felt so called ...

Remember that

Oh how I look back and reflect

How I felt it

How it set

I don’t have to feel so wrong now ...

Discover ...

~ REM ~ Discoverer ~

***

What does it take to discover who YOU really ARE?  An illness, a death, a tragedy ... perhaps.  Regardless, the process is a scary one ... a mirror in front of you seeing if you can let go of the mask of who you have been and embrace who you really are. 

I said to Russ the other day, 

“ I finally feel like the person I am meant to be ... 

life is starting to be in alignment ...”.  

And honestly, quite a relief.  

For most of us, it is easier to simply play the “roles” expected of us, so that we maintain images and ideas around who we are.  This falsehood can become comfortable ... well it did for me, because I thought if “they really knew who I was” they wouldn’t like me.  I was afraid to reveal who I really was, simply because I didn’t feel like I was worthy of it.

Also, I realized that the more insecure I was, the more egotistical I was ... yeah chew on that for awhile, cause I sure did!  So how does that work?  Well, you think “everything” has to do with you ... you are consumed with others opinions, decisions and reactions that “must” be because of how you look and are.  Reality check:  only MY life revolves around me.

Funny how discovering of self happens when it does.  Meaning there is no set age or event that instigates this as some may not even experience all the lessons they need to learn in their current life.  Simply, it is meant to be according to where we are on our journey and what it is we are here for in this life.  

What does life ask of you, versus what do you ask of this life?  

essentially, our greater purpose ...

And yes, discovering my authentic self has been a painful experience ... being vulnerable, having to let go of years of conditioning ... people who no longer serve me as I scratch the surface of the core of my soul and being.

What do we really know ... that the only guarantee in life is continual change because you can’t count on it going as you planned.  Life delivers various misfortunes, mostly beyond control, and the you that is always in control is an illusion.  Now I am learning no matter how intelligent I may think I am (or my ego thinks) I will only create turmoil for myself by clinging to this false identity.

We often hear about “walking your own path” ... so what does that mean?  I see it as stepping up a staircase ... learning that each step directs you towards discovering what no longer resonates with the you YOU are.  Oddly stepping "up" can feel like falling "down" because of what you let go ~ the familiarity, the comfort, the safety and the solitude ... or the people, ideas, behaviours and beliefs.

This has rattled me to the core, to my soul ... to my essence and has been very lonely at times.  Yet understanding who I really am involves overcoming misconceptions about who I am not.  

The greatest challenge I face after discovering me is 

learning how to respond to life in light of this insight and wisdom ...

Ultimately, I hope that knowing what is essentially me will prepare me to meet the chaos of life with a clear mind and an open heart.  I hope that developing this clarity and awareness will provide much comfort and stability when it is needed the most ... 

" Definition of Destiny ... "

Won't you stop, take a breath

Find a moment to reflect

On the pure and simple choices that we fail to see

From the worst to the best

From the east coast to the west

On a never-ending quest to end our misery

Punch the clock to a own

While our lives are put on hold

When did all our childhood dreams begin to disappear?

Well a long time ago

We had passion, we had goals

Why is life so set in stone it doesn't have to be?

So cut to the chase, it's time to escape

Before it's too late

Yeah pick up the pace, catch up with fate

It's slipping away

So get off my road, no I won't be told

'Cause I got my own (definition of destiny)

Yeah take back control, and don't let it go, 

The future's unknown (definition of destiny)

~ Billy Talent ~ Definition of Destiny ~

***

Ever wonder what the difference is between fate and destiny?

I often do.  Being brought up with the belief that fate is something that we decided before we were born, destiny is just the part you create continuously, moment by moment.  

The Essence of Buddha states “your destiny is shaped according to the combination of conditions pre-determined at birth and other factors that you are able to change through your own efforts”.

Curious, I wanted to know more about what these conditions were ... predetermined or otherwise, that come into play shaping our course ...

• Soul tendencies or Karma
• Social climate
• Family environment
• Personal efforts
• Self discipline
• Influence of other people

If you believe that some of the elements are predetermined, then before each reincarnation, you support the plan for your spiritual training.  You decided to learn things in this particular lifetime that may not be to your physical being’s liking.  From a human only perspective, you might feel victimized while you inner being or Spirit, chose the learning experiences to grow from.  Yes, I know this is a difficult notion to consider ...

The idea is when we can understand that on some level we chose these experiences, it becomes easier to accept them as part of our journey.  As strange as this may sound, everything in life is in fact for us and not against us, and everything is also by us.  Embracing this allows us to take responsibility and hopefully make profound changes in our life.

What I can relate to is in the past, I would attract the same energy and challenges in my life.  And I never learned the lesson so they just seemed to get bigger and bigger.  This continued until I really had to listen because it escalated to the point that was life threatening if I didn’t make a change.  

You see, when you hit rock bottom, you can only go up ... but it is up to us if we decide to stick around for a bit longer.  Simple point ... we define our destiny when we decide how we handle life.  We shape our destiny by the thoughts we think, the beliefs we have and we know what way we are headed by the feelings we have about every choice we make.

Feel yourself in alignment with the flow of life 

that you decided on before you were born 

... journey with your soul purpose.

I am learning that my situation may be my fate, but not my destiny.  It is never meant to stay that way because what I am experiencing is only right now, but everything passes.  

You shape your own destiny by the choices you make right now ... 

So my plan is to continue to observe myself and others.  Use my enquiring mind.  Analyze habits, tendencies, strengths and weaknesses of my soul.  Strive to change myself from my current self ... in hopes that this will help not only change but perhaps conquer my fate, moment by moment ...