" Safe ... "

You make me feel safe 

Someday 

My darkest fears will find their way 

After all 

Somebody loves me (loves me, loves me) 

All day 

My heart tells strangers how I feel 

And it's hard not to feel this way 

When you thought your future was on prescription 

You make me feel safe 

You make me feel safe

~ George Michael ~ Safe ~

***

How do you protect yourself?  How do you live, open hearted and free, if you don’t feel safe?  Are you safe?  Can you trust your world?  These days, sneaking up inside of me, I quietly ponder these questions ...

The world is your oyster ... isn’t that the popular saying ... but what happens when a variety of pressures feel like your world is closing in.  You feel like you are grasping for air, barely above water and unsure of what is next and anxious. 

So isn’t the real question ... where is this coming from?

Well, from an early age, we often seek another to keep us safe, free from harm.  We learn to expect this from our parents and loved ones.  And as we grow older, we look to our siblings, our friends, our spouse ... and possibly beyond ... anyone?

Truthfully, as a conscious adult, there are times I want to go back to that early age and have someone else “just take care of it”.  I want no part in the responsibility of making my life, creating my life.   

Why?  ... because I don’t want to be responsible for the consequences of my decisions 

Why? ... because, it scares the hell out of me.

Yep, hide my head in the sand and hope it will all just go away ... 

Sometimes it feels easier for someone else to decide ... but then I ask myself, are you truly a creator of your life?  And even though I write a great deal about empowerment and taking responsibility of my own needs, I still struggle with this because I have no guarantee of being safe.  But then I ask myself, who really is safe?

Living your life with an open heart and open arms requires you to take risks.  Yet with that comes setting good boundaries.  Which in my past, I haven't done a good job of ... take for example how I have allowed others to come into my world that perhaps didn’t deserve to.  Resulting in disrespectful and hurtful behaviours.  Upon reflection, I can only blame myself because I allowed it to happen *sigh ... dealing with consequences of inaction?

So how do you prevent pitfalls but still take risks?  Hmmm, not sure if that is even possible in complex human experiences.  But since the world is a mirror, the real process begins with working on yourself first.  

Say what you mean and mean what you say ...  if something doesn’t feel right, speak up, because the only reason for not communicating is because of fear.  And if they don’t understand and walk away, as painful as it is, they did you a massive favour.

So my mission ...

• to create a nurturing environment in my heart by listening, paying attention, and honoring my needs 
• to believe we are always protected
• to practice compassion towards myself 
• and to create a safe and open doorway so trustworthy people can enter my life

I have realized that no matter how much I try to dart it, safety and trust in my life is my responsibility.  So I need to let it scare me if it does, try to enjoy it if I can and then live my life by it which I intend to ...